education, history, workhistory

For the Most Part …

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Some things come naturally to people such as helping others, saying the right thing, being well liked, and some things don’t, like being misunderstood, being interpreted in the negative. All of which later matters depending on what you are doing with your life, who you have chosen to support in life, and based on how you are feeling now, perceived as someone who genuinely cares, or is just trying to appear to be on the right team in life. I don’t think a Master in the Science of Laws, prepared me for mass communications upon devastation, I think there is always time to learn more, and get more adequate training. When is there a benefit, a benefit only exists so long as you stay well, that’s when ideas are flourishing, and there is still time to make people look bad, in order to make yourself look good, past the point of harm, it will not matter who looks bad, or who looks good, and that’s the lesson in limits, that if you push yourself to your limit, either in defense of self, due to mistake or error on your part, that’s not a trust that you can later get back, also known as respect, and its never a choice to fall ill, to what you did represent and no longer represent, the values that kept you afloat, that cant keep you well in the event that you fall sick to what others think or have to say, on the basis of looking at the big picture. There is no such thing as code for blame, if you are found in the wrong, the police knock on your door, and put you in the hospital and jail, that means a situation that you cannot argue yourself out of, that’s someone complaining, and that’s you not being able to speak on your behalf, or have anyone to defend you, that’s the justice system, if youre going in, youre going in, and nothing can stop that process from happening, nothing you have to say, nothing you have to share, and if that’s where you end up in life, and its not your fault, then do your best to not communicate to anything in life, that makes you seem like youre not on board or not having benefited form everything going right for you in life, simply because someone is made not to be pleased with your output, expecting you to have the answers to their questions, this is what above is for. There is no such thing as commanding an order for thinking, based upon who knows best, that’s not the job of anyone, to try to configure everything in defense, it will be by what your weaknesses are or by what is working, that psychology gets practiced back. And this is the problem, with competition, I don’t think even competing ideologies can resolve the number of things that can go wrong by a series of negative interpretations, expected to make anyone feel good, it wont, it simply wont make anything better, and that’s what causes sickness, in terms of creativity, when what you think is happening, is occurring, until it happens for reassurances, and if that’s how you live your life, with negative expectation of others, then you will never be made to be happy when someone is well, if anyones wellness is perceived not to be deserved or getting away with anything in avoidance. I have never been in the wrong or avoided any controversy or traumatic incident in life, I am always honest and not in a sick way defensive over self or others, or even my own property, body, stamina, or mental health: intelligence. That is something that someone sees looking at you, and if it takes you awhile to look at someone, that’s just you trying to figure someone out, who you don’t understand, don’t know, or don’t trust, or are looking for more information, or guilts to appear on their eyes, to know what they have or have not done in life, including self-harm, or self-harm in public, not my choice. So that’s guilt, battling mental illness (negative observation) for 8 years, and not recovering after graduating from Law School, and ending up in a worse condition, with a Masters in the Science of Laws from a better school, with a memorial across from the MLK Memorial, with OJ freed, with two jobs lost (let go, fired), to try to illustrate fault, I left UWLA, I left Fall 2011 (went back to paralegal school finished my certificate) not because of lettering or airplanes attended, had I known that that would be an issue would have gone to Law School in Glendale accepted. So thats me being looked as an obnoxious admission or a pointing out of facts in life, to make me seem like I knew the reasons for bipolar, or was trying to blame anyone make anyone look bad: Petrocelli. I learned depositions 2008, that’s everyones tone who is an Attorney in depositions, at the time, I thought that was strong language, you live and you learn. I think for everything that happens for you in life, a story is wanted to be brought up, and while there may be a higher ordered concept to thinking about life, or communicating about life, in a style that everyone else is used to, the facts will always matter, how things look will always matter, who is well will always matter, whos on board will always matter, how you feel will always matter, and what is said will always matter. It will be by your advisements of what not to do, will be what happens to you in life: (1) insensitivity (2) communication viewed as defense (3) imitation viewed as competition (4) demonstration not viewed in humor viewed as mental illness (5) success (weight loss) viewed as sexuality not pride (6) medication (viewed as addiction, not chemical). 

So when its time to mourn mourn. When its time to represent represent. If its time not to view things from the perspective of criminals, be positive. If its time to tell your story, be short. If its time to get help, be clear. If its time to report, be honest. If its time to be alone, work on yourself. And if its time to let things go, stop bringing up the past. And when its time to be thankful and to be at peace, then that’s time to listen, and to heed the advices of those above you in life. 

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