Talking About an Issue …

To me it does no good to get help when someone has a problem with me, because then they attack me more, such as in my present situation for the past two years since August 2020 when I discontinued talking to someone who became angry with me after I experienced identity theft. When talking to others doesn’t help it means that while you are complaining about someone upset with you, they become angrier, and the people who try to help you try to convince you that its nothing or “he’s an a$$hole,” encouraged to disassociate from someone, not deserving to be treated that way by them. What I realized today, that while its incredibly scary and nerve wracking to respond to this person, to me that’s beginning to negotiate through the issues and speak like a normal human being, without allowing myself to go into distress not responding, and everyone taking his side, and become defensive toward me in an unstable condition. I think work is work, and working through issues, and not being able to sleep sometimes happens, like last night, reviewing emails, and working on course work, and doing research online, and getting organized. It doesn’t help me for someone to have a problem with me, then I feel under pressure and in that condition you cannot win with people no matter how many people try to support you and tell you its “schizophrenia” or “bipolar,” the medications cannot fix when someone is attacking you aggravating you, or for the voices that result from a displeasure with you, an unhappiness with your post or condition, either too specific, not broad enough, not educational enough, or just your thoughts, and when things become about fear or reporting those were stages in my life, when I did not know how to approach issues, Im not a confrontational person, no one explains life to you, you kind of just live life and see things for yourself. Its not all about you. I have a good life so its insulting for anyone to convince me that Im tying to convince others that things are worse than they are, they were bad, and things got better, and they are bad again, and that affects everyone Im sure, but not necessary to talk about online, and express any grievances. But there is a risk if you are not stable, to be the speaker to a problem, that someone doesn’t feel that you represent (Brady), will not think its your place, and then attack you as though you are messing up the recovery of others through trauma, treat you like you don’t understand first hand what mental health issues are like, or what trauma is like, therefore it not being your place to help others, you know if its not my place to help others, then that’s why I got two jobs, trying to live a normal life, that’s not what blogging is for, creating problems in my head, which only occur upon prosecution of me in private and threats to my freedoms in life, or mental health status, and what where the causes for me hitting my head or becoming suicidal, its not my guilt for crisis sake, it will be in being ignored or not spoken to, and that nothing that anyone can help you with, when you have a problem that’s what you go to a therapist for, not something that others will support you through, your upsets, or becoming bothered, as someone who comes from wealth, you are expected to be at ease, fun, and not have problems, because you have more in life, so its not understood if you are viewed as someone who is “given things in life,” what would cause you to not feel well, let alone be “jealous” or “bothered” by other women or men for that matter, I think that’s something that occurs for you later in life, by dating, either weeded out, dumped, ignored, or left, and that’s just based on mental health, you become hard to date, with preference for someone who is well and with a job, is viewed more highly upon.

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