Good advice is hard to come by, you won’t always hear what you want to hear when the troubles you face are of your own making, this is true of addiction, or making mistakes when it comes to being close to wrong people, or run the risk exposing yourself to others, not all people can be trusted. This is what makes the internet great, it’s a place to talk, while also maintaining your distances, we all hope that we can safely blog within reason. That doesn’t mean that you can just say whatever you want to say. Some are so privileged to be so vocal, while others like me are constantly worrying what others think, and doing my best to not make a statement about my life, as though others have not endured the same or similar difficulties in life, I think this is what makes me relateable, that Im not too high up, Im not too far down, and Im not taking anyone anywhere to high in thinking, that they would be brought down the same, this is advocacy, to me it means just enough to set things back to normal, like medications, only taking what you need to get level, not take more than is needed to achieve a regular state of mind, which to me is normal, balance. For someone who struggled with bipolar and schizophrenia, balance is so important to me, without balance I would not be able to blog, I would not have been able to finish law school, and I would not be able to work as a paralegal. Balance to me means understanding your personal limits, and being able to perform under pressures in life. Right now is a good example of performing under pressure. With all the wild ideas looming overhead, its about whether I allow for what people think to make or break me, in terms of where Im headed in life and what I have to offer the world. When the doubts of others are trying to convince you that you’ve done something wrong, that can be a really defeating feeling, and I can imagine the downs occurring, when one feeling has taken you one way in life, and at the same token, for those advices to be questionned and bring you down in life. So far I have only come so far as my own advices to myself have taken me, which I share online, things that I would want to hear, what would help me, buffer from all the nonsense that is possible to think at a time like this, and most of it is not too far fetched, and is accepted by me, as a way to think about things, without assuming that everyone knows the same information without me having dictated it, and for people to think differently of me or others. Its actually very dangerous to put yourself out there in life and in the worst case scenario me misunderstood as outsider, or a threat to the balance of others. If I had not created balance for myself, I would not have the heart to affect the balance of others, not even by my own mental health issues, which explains why Im so vocal about what it is Im going through at the time, to set boundaries in terms of what is expected of me, and to pray for patience from others when Im not feeling well. I just walked for an hour on the treadmill, I didn’t know I had covid until recently, got tested at work, just started a new job, doing legal research and writing. Trying to keep busy, since my Father’s passing, and not overwhelm myself and fill my plate too high. Just took a break from my 6 month internship blogging for a magazine, and will continue to blog for them when I have time, Im glad that they extended an offer for me to continue to write for them, that’s great! Life happens fast, so be present to enjoy the moments that you do have at peace, you never know what will happen, and we always pray for the best. I think talking about how I was feeling, post trauma, was important, even if there was no one else worried as I was, or thinking the same thing, I think its better to say something than nothing at all, especially at a time like this. How can things get better, when everyones climbing all the walls around you, is what it feels like, too much excitement, or too much energy, or too much aggression, and you always wonder if it has anything to do with you, until you stop yourself and say you know what maybe Im a blogger, or a paralegal, but I know who I am, what Im writing is of value, and know that I mean well. Maybe my Instagram is not as professional looking and updated as it could be but I am trying my best to keep up with what apps and features there are being offered, when I have the time, learn new apps, and work on being structured and themed on Instagram. Theres so much to do at a time like this, and it can be overwhelming getting started. Always think why are you in the business of blogging and what is your purpose, and stick to that, no matter what happens, and you’ll surely get back on track and find your balance again. Sometimes in trying to over integrate ourselves, you can lose steam, only incorporate as much as you can handle, stick to a few good ideas, and go from there, no is expecting for you to provide unlimited knowledge like a Wikipedia, but make sure that your sharing is meaningful and Im sure that your audience won’t feel like their time is wasted either. It took me 10 days since I last visited my pen pal #toddspitzer in Orange County (to overcome psychosis that is hearing voices and feeling sick), he has been key to my recovery from mental illness, I used to hear voices and hit my head, which has since stopped for more than 6 months now or close to a year, not to mention being sober since 2014. With mental health you can be doing good and you can get sick again, and you cant always predict what is going to happen for you in life mental health wise, that’s the nerve wracking part of undergoing stress in life, or mishap, you tend to feel drained, or to blame yourself in the event that youre not feeling well and feel like no one is one your side, and life doesn’t have to be that way. If you know that it is possible for you to get sick, figure out first what is causing your sickness, and then limit your intake, or exposure to those things in life that are causing you to feel that way, pressured. Pressure is like stress, it’s a feeling you can’t stop, and when you get overwhelmed, you can forget how you were before you entered this episode, lets say if its bipolar, and you won’t know how long that feeling will last, or set of bad feelings, or stresses, until you begin coping, and this is what makes managing mental health issues so difficult, yes you literally need a masters degree and a legal education to figure out whats wrong with you sometimes, even when no one can help you. So don’t be too hard on yourself, the point is to stick to it, you know what you have to do to get better and to feel good again, it’s all a matter of you doing those things and keeping up with tasks needed to get done in order to be feeling good again, like anything in life, that’s a chore, simply cleaning your room, getting organized, making a list, going shopping, there are a lot of things that you can do with your time, to occupy your time, other than waste time thinking or overthinking, sometimes its okay to take a break. I used to blog everyday, but have found more progress in not blogging everyday, and taking more days to myself to get adjusted and to overcome these hurdles in life, not sure if everyone faces the same dilemmas, but we all hope that we can get through things the same, be better people in the long run, having had these experiences, then to allow life to just happen to us, have some control eventually.
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