Do the Dawn …

I just got back from my AA meeting home group I’ve been attending for years now intermittently, where I did my 90 meetings in 90 days two meetings a day, when you’re starting life over get started in a supervised direction in life, I guess they were the ones with the wisdom to give us memorizable pointers and I’m assuming the bond and dedication to your program or form of therapy is something that gets ingrained in you, different things work for different people. We can’t all go by the same hopscotch in life. But they set good precedent for things to come, not that we ever felt that way about social media and entertainment and news, I think analytics and stats online kind of corrected the issue of seeing more of what is helping us to build a dialogue around subjects. I’m sorry I said we have no people at the mic, I’m sure the philosophy is all in us if we would just listen more and trust more, the newness of problem solving is a daunting task, it’s always been recommended to me to not reinvent the wheel at my first job working for the government. Wish I could but things change and sometimes you have to work your way back into a profession you’ve left to try other careers, you’ll always wind up back to where makes sense to you probably by education and training. So best of luck to everyone finding what works for you. “Do the Dawn” means I’m now hyper aware of how I talk about self-harm and that sensitivity I feel was actually a risk discussed at the meeting today to be sure to lift others out of places in life not speak in a way that brings others down I forget the exact language, I’m sure it’s something like a bipolar rant or discussion of moments I felt like giving up makes no sense after shopping my way back to a normal look and appearance and getting a job and a new car, I look put together, but in an odd way found my positive self again the loving cuddly humorous excited and enthusiastic for others -ness, I can’t say that’s common for me, a rare occurrence. It’s good to open up make sure that what is discussed enlightens meaning if something has dawned on you don’t scare others into believing the same things can be true for them I’ve always noticed this (say it) (walk through it) (experience it) so when it comes to reminders and discussion of the past this explains the repetition at some point you have to replace that dialogue that’s getting you going into a ball of aggravation (if not with the help of meds) we can at least control our words, there’s no such thing as a heart monitor attached to your speaking tools within that wants to hear why you don’t feel good there is always a better way of describing any pain or frustration in life and it includes also not making yourself feel bad about yourself life is shocking you just don’t say certain things out loud, maybe the deficit of someone with mental health issues like me. So don’t worry I’m sorry I brought up my past really “dumb” choices is how I ever best described ending up in the hospital being told what to do not able to care for myself or believed in, that disillusionment is painful feeling sleepy and everyone awake around you, it’s no position anyone wants to ever be in, caved in. If you get through it go by those who saw you way back when or at those moments and hear the reassurance in their tone when they speak to you, if you were worse that’s why you felt that way when you no longer feel that way it’s because you don’t look or appear that way anymore don’t ask God why or how just trust the process. #recovery.

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