Originally Published 08-13-22
The most tiring aspect of being a blogger and becoming known is the limitations that others have with respect to your health, past, or acceptance for you, not seeing what others see in you, in terms of what it is you do well and a thorough job of ensuring, the confidences of others. Whenever things are too much for someone I think, what are they going by, what is not good enough, what guilts do they assume I have, what are they not happy by, why are they not feeling good about me, what is it that they know or have seen that makes them doubt me or question me or think less of me.
Sometimes I wish I never dated (because you look worse not them, favored) or tried to help others through blogging sometimes it can feel like a repetitive circuit for displacing blame to me as though I’m not apart of and I think that’s the simple solution for those who view people as small or pathetic or uninfluential or unimpressed by them, if I had problems with proving myself I would not have had friends growing up, been social, or attended law school, you really can’t have any problems or need therapy if your expected to concentrate and perform. Meaning nothing else going on in your head that would affect your writing or what you see clearly not going by your own guesses in life.
I think frustration is a sign of powerlessness not feeling able. Either by your own doing or not trying hard enough, later in life you realize that your ability in life is within your control and like all things you can give up control over in life is how you appear if you are not careful and by what you share online. Getting help and being out in the open to the courts is not easy to do I think they first time I ever presented in court with #scotus I immediately focused on what I’m doing in life what has happened to me in life and what I could be doing better, without a JD in sight you wonder for the first time how could you invest your heart into something and not get back the grades you have usually been able to achieve when you put all your effort toward achieving those goals in life. School was something I was good at nothing I ever struggled with, grades.
At this point in my career as a blogger I don’t expect anything from anyone I presume that needing anything from anyone is a sign of weakness or an unwanted pressure meaning I do not need reassurances from others to be stable mentally or to have a good grasp on subjects or what information I’ve provided what’s working for others and what I could do a better job of. I think the themes governing resiliency and recovery from events will remain the same with the same degree of sensitivity for mental health issues as well as punishing any known offenders thought to have contributed to the commission of crimes.
You can either empower others to think positively or you can be met with resistance and I guess that’s what today means by making a sign to introduce myself to my neighbors. I can see that you can do all of this work going out of your way to make sure things are okay without punishment but it’s not viewed that way to others not especially those who wish for you to have no influence over the direction or course of production of things in popular media I don’t think that entertainment is on an influencer system anyways it’s more about who’s feeling good and able not necessarily hyper focused on what’s making people feel good then punishing people assuming they’re on the wrong teams in life or support or condone any themes aligned with things that I mention on my blog. I’m sorry that things are that way for me to be doing well and to not feel apart of that progress I’m assuming that there is more work to be done on my behalf to prove to others that I’m working hard and that things are not only going well for me but by my advices will likely avoid the same if similar struggles in life when it comes to how we express ourselves what ideas we support and not fall off center feeling powerless or not together and apart of what’s working for others which is not lead by any specific individual there will always be a pecking order and unfortunately some pecking orders are not established if not by putting you down first to see how others respond or risk feeling ostracized for not reading the situation of quiet or discomfort well enough to be moved accepting and fearless than judgmental in terms of what’s being communicated or the sufficiency of the quality of effort being put forward to appear normal and resume a normal life again. Much of life is about choices you can either be present and seem unaffected which may appear odd to anyone who doesn’t know what you’ve done to be clear headed and does not respect the steps you took to appear that way and also not wait until you are affected for them to be reassured that you don’t have it easy in life this how you get left with a hard life by someone who does not see clearly by what you have to say you are also not obligated to go by others and then be off center until they feel centered to make things right have less in life or more disability.
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