As an adolescent I was a club soccer player won MVP and scored a hattrick in a State Cup Final Game with 2 assists, I was also tri-captain of my High School soccer team and helped lead my team to a near perfect season 22-0-1 and was All-CIF, I even tried out for the Olympic Development Team at one point. That’s my leadership experience growing up, and co-solo at my 6^th Grade graduation and received a basketball medal, I was MVP of basketball camp at UCLA one summer in elementary school. I held the record in pull-ups 12, in 2^nd grade, and the shuttle run and sit ups in 5^th grade. My 6^th grade Country report was on Kenya, and my first trip to DC was in 5^th Grade, that was the year that I was in a sling and gained weight, fractured my collar bone on the tire swing, and blacked out in the school yard.

When it comes to blogging, think what do you have experience in, and does what you have experience in or by education make you fit to talk to others, there are so many expectations these days, and degrees you need to have, and specialties, that its hard to qualify for anything these days, always seems like you need something else to do what is needed, so I was lucky that I found blogging and graduated. In high school I did well in Physics got an A and in Chemistry an A-, and graduated with a 3.2 GPA. It was a mistake to try smoking weed during a period when I was in crutches and tore ligaments in my ankle twice and tore my MCL, so that is why my soccer career did not advance to college as planned, and ended up going to a so-called “party school,” and tried out for the CU Club Soccer team, 1 of 45 freshman on the B team, we traveled on weekends to games, so I didn’t go out my Freshman year.

I didn’t start taking adderrall until Sophomore year in College, and switched majors to Sociology which were all writing based exams did better, than multiple choice questions. I almost finished a Psychology Major and stopped taking courses at Statistics. Going to Law School was a decision made after discovering my love for writing and learned research writing, I was active in class discussions would always participate and my classmates believed in me one stating “make law a better place.” Those were the years in which I was respected and who knew me supported me, I never grew up with any enemies, and no history of fighting or alcoholism or drug addiction, it was only until my Senior year in college, that I tried cocaine, I was formerly a crisis hotline counselor since 2004 and just got a job at Boulder DA’s Office in their Victim Advocacy department. So that was a big mistake to try cocaine, which led to addiction, and subsequently went to an outpatient rehab, the director of my rehab “said I would be fine,” everyone else there was court ordered, so I wasn’t with any other women in the program. I think upon turning 21 it was a good idea to go out to the bars, everyone should have that experience within reason, and maybe it was just me who was on Deans List and then couldn’t do school on cocaine, that was the semester that I got bad grades, so I suffered at that moment, and never wish to suffer in that way again, doing less, or not performing, or not able to function do my school work and be the person I was before I tried cocaine, it ruins your ability to be smart, get good grades, and accomplish anything in life, so it was good that I attended rehab, and found a few good friends who didn’t support drug use.

It was only until applying to law school that I experienced bipolar, I had a great internship at the time working at the LA City Attorney’s Office, I applied via blinde application “downtown law firm,” so it wasn’t me trying to be big or look important, it was who was big and important picked me. At that age 22 you are not really thinking about your career trajectory no one teaches you that and most people work internships before they are given pain positions, and most people need to be trained to work in law firms, so I think I did things the right way. I took my first LSAT 2006 at Denver Law School, and unfortunately by the time I took my LSAT, I had already tried cocaine, and I was not able to bring up my score on the LSAT the next two times I took the exam got the same exact score and couldn’t get a 152. I wanted to go to a good college and a good law school, but that didn’t work out for me, either how I looked on paper wasn’t good enough, maybe the stigma associated to drinking and having friends and trying cocaine, or maybe it was my story that wasn’t impressive enough, that I wasn’t viewed as having the characteristics and abilities of other law students, if they don’t think youre capable you don’t get in, and in order to get good jobs, you learn later its by reputation, so that’s how going to CU ruined my career and also caused an additional strain or challenge in life, especially after mass shootings. So if you are ever connected to something people think is bad, no one has it as bad as me in life, to be honest. In life a lot of people’s feelings are based on how you are doing, so when you aren’t feeling well that’s hard to support or know what to say to you to give you your confidence back, its something that you lose that you didn’t know that you had, and don’t know why its gone, and that affects performance ability. So if you ever are doing well, and want to continue to do well, then don’t be anywhere you cant perform well, would be the lesson or the acceptance of not having a JD, based upon grades, it doesn’t really reflect my performance on exams, so that was unfortunate to get As on essays and my whole grade brought down by multiple choice questions, so whatever was the lesson, maybe it was because of OJ there was some system of judgment that did not think that there was a future with me doing well and for some reason put down in life on the basis of the future happening for others and not me, is sometimes how life works, in place of learning a lesson, people do well, or more are accepted, in light of your experiences in life. Sometimes people don’t open up or recognize disabilities, until theyre responding to it, or until someone fails to perform and there is not apparent reason why someones not doing well in school.

Im not sure how guilt gets assumed, but maybe it was because I put my honors thesis in columns after the school shootings (my personal commitment or dedication made to solve and help out, as someone trained in research and writing and sociology licensed to study people or conditions, social movements, etc.), so maybe that’s why a professor confronted me on my first day of class mentioned something written on a TV Show list, so that’s how people treat you when they think that you are guilty I guess, and the basis could be your mental health what seems gone about you, I had a 2 inch binder at the time and spiral notebook filled for one class with notes, so I wasn’t underperforming or guilty or gone, and given that confrontation, I immediately met with the Dean and another Professor and told them that I would be taking the semester off, and flew to DC instead for two weeks and visited the US Supreme Court.

Published 04-09-23