In an extended effort now continuing since August 30, leaving a psychiatric hold and getting voices, still battling mental illness as it relates to being recorded by phone or by body, and whats put up online, and stop writing in private, and start writing more legal and scientific research online, limit drawings to only moments when I am privileged to draw a big picture or concern of something to visualize represent a thinking, that is intended to help protect me or others, and put into words, what the experience of being a top blogger, reporting to politicians or police, and being myself. Of issue recently since August 30, is talking out loud and to myself or others, occurring once while punching my head after not stopping after saying stop, so there’s unrecorded shouting “leave me alone” before self-harm, Ive not self harmed for more than 3 years since going to treatment for self-harm, therefore a reason for it now, based on two words, one work unacceptable inaccurate, the other a diagnosis and a few complaints about a prior definition written that was insulting and mean and has since left top 10 google search results replaced by new definitions.

The extended effort to discontinue what’s said wrong is “suicidal commentary” in response to “hate words heard I don’t say” and the words said were S, Light Myself on Fire, and Shoot Myself in the Head (which is a result of two fires in Brentwood, a movie Shawshank Redemption with a gun in a book, and slut which is untrue because Im a model with one boyfriend by phone). Therefore the anger being fueled is a belief in things occurring around me brought on my me, when fires started with all my blogs taken down after lawsuit and forced to delete my Twitter, so going back online was a risk to my freedoms taken, addressed to the court who made that judgement of me or why, and a FEMA membership was created before books were published symbolic of helping others post trauma the fires were traumatic mentally Im sure for many, and although at the time there was not group theory or coding relevant occurring or in flux, I think that the group effort to publish, is what has been working for everyone, therefore a fire in Maui is not the result of any work published since the fires, and after a fire I do not have anything else to say other than I did not believe that it was another Country attacking us, and that reservation is based on an incomprehensible fear that is instilled upon a Country when you cause them to believe that something is their fault, or a code is their fault any code, or a liking, or a payment, or a support is their fault, or a leadership is anyones fault, or a look, or a song, or a film, therefore sometimes before you know it there are representations made around you and to you to communicate to others something about you confirmed or true or sad, and sometimes instead of watching people for communications or clues, not jump to conclusions that anyone is anywhere else because of anything they’ve done wrong, or there being a history of them thinking wrong, is not the solution to judge a person as thinking wrong who is a balanced decision maker, not suicidal and does not self-harm.

Word that are hurtful to me, is if there is a hate, they can file a lawsuit and claim their racism or belief in court, but Im not out here managing or creating code, and nothing is made about me, to inspire or bring anyone together, not especially anything wrong that hs occurred, so if the solution was being successful, then creating more of a code among who is not blamed, is an everyday job to offset blame and prevent losses and misinterpretation, daily support through blogging was helpful in period when the day to day is hard which is my disability which reflects depression now given a med for. In period previous it was through disciplined effort running and learning and improving, at 38, its less important to feel good and do things to feel good when the demand is of writing, this is why more writing is created until a guilt is not thrown between people, and until a guilt is not thrown to me, and until any lawsuit is not viewed as code for anyone to use or misuse or determine fault of my identity or any politician for whats governing the humor and hearts scientifically of the majority, known about, or actually influencing and no matter whether I chat or am apart of, to be high up, simply means speak the courts and arrested or not, including whats said wrong, which is why I deleted all my apps, when Twitter is misunderstood and messages to Todd, means to discontinue writing anything to anyone, and write more in public, and this is when code is about prevention, when the remainder of its solution is held within a value that cannot be broken, is when value is maintained, and when the harm is resulting from a previous comprehension not current or consistent to building by in common, not obvious to me (physically or mentally) a forcing of viewpoint (is the offense of wellness how is one surviving or doing well without speaking specific to how things look or what losses have been suffered therefore a speaking specifically to, shows leadership in the face of punishment and or ridicule, so who matters in the end, all the money that is being made and inspiring everyone (the delusion is that I am known and things are made because of me or inspired by me or accuse other women of looking like me, or thinking that women looking like eachother or men etc, has to do with who a person is influenced by or what is help within them, designate who they are on the inside).

1. Although I failed on Instagram to just say I was dated by guy named “Gray” an Attorney switched to home health, from Newport, its speaking to the amount of suffering that I have endured treated as cheater when suicide occurred 1 year prior to the demise of that relationship was apart for a year before it ended, meaning it was not working out since the hospital.
2. I was planning to visit yesterday was Day 15 #BLM sent a request to be in public on the basis of helping and in what way preventative is now submitting writings on my own without an Attorney and create my own case and subject matter, not get hurt as though against Todd. Who is by far a victim of mass shootings, and the reasons for them occurring while he was connected to me is unclear, so submitting writing on my own WAY BEYOND any writing submitted by any attorney who ever accused me of “Civil Harassment” its not me to fear, it’s the incidences and crimes to fear, and to respect that I am alone alone in life, alone my whole life, and mean well and independent and not in need not disabled, and able to recover and work and speak for myself, however else I was made to change to speak to subjects that either are viewed as not solution, at each time in life, there will be a different requirement to be successful and right now to be successful is having these conversations and talking about life, with full detail as to specific which are not “speakeasy” easy to hold, if not for me, certainly not for anyone else’s successes either however directed to speak or to feel is their life not mine. So continue to respect the drives of people in life.
3. I called US Attorney’s Office (“willing to take it all the way up to the US Supreme Court or a request to be moved to their court.”)
4. I called USC School of Law to introduce myself the 152 Kaplan LSAT who in a rush wrote the address in red sharpie, when all of my applications were submitted in folders and labels on top. Probably frustrated with an issue (or an insult that’s carrying over by a word “harassment” attached to my identity, after applying to the US Navy 2009 and someone who lives alone, independent, and not talking to anyone, was opposite of who I am respectful soft spoken, complaint relevant OJ in jail and no motion was written and no attorney represented him but Sheen.
5. I have not contacted the White House, I forget if I sent anything maybe visited and looked for an email.
6. I called the CIA to express concern over voices, and being hurt, and to express my grievances and what I feel at the moment, if made to commit suicide or why.
7. Not said was going to a bar to drink, and lunged at outside in my face and talked at and responded to and by the time I went back into the bar, I got sick started talking for no reason after my phone died and sounded stupid, and this has not occurred at home drinking, so a scientific reason for speaking is still not found understood and whats not clear which types of alcohol.
8. And I called the Orange County Sheriff to express concern for Todd, based on me being hurt and it not being clear who is at fault or what has been lost or a risk believed Im taking with my life or success is not to the detriment of anyone elses success or code if that’s the code then is to speak to issues that signify blame, then that’s how those people code, and I cant change them or their sense of humor or who is decided “loser” etc.
9. I was smoking outside when their were police parked while writing Instagram divulging commentary and pointed my hand at my head, speaking “suicidal” and then a whole pack of police sat outside walked by me.
10. Then smoking outside of my building (after fighting guns being shot in my neighborhood nightly for a year which has since stopped after improving getting stronger and writing more) a police drove up to talk to me was nice, helpful clearly mental health issues present (not clear what people don’t like about the drinking, and not clear when in sobriety what was not to like about me then why), told me (not said) reminding me of a lawsuit, when I have no intent to visit a home Im told not to visit and told that my home here is his home and not believing that I live here and being told I live in West Hollywood (telling me Im gay and also telling me Im schizophrenic and also trying to make me feel bad that I was rejected and the absis for rejection if my innocence can be proven again and again and also to officer whos loss I spoke to and the difficulty are not my losses, and the explanation for a schizophrenic shooter is not my job, Im not losing or struggling Im performing wrote a book for the court and continue to submit work for them all new not existing whatever was created is not the code and does not have any value, until my success rate is detmerined in the form of fewer incidences and also specific incidences including the most recent incidence, so telling me I cant go home, I have no where to go, I don’t know anyone, I don’t have a car, I don’t have any money, Im privileged to live here, so if that’s telling me to die (I don’t deserve that officer’s hate Ive not been combative toward him and Ive never lied or asked for help that’s not emergent and to criticize my calls and make fun of me after making 5 calls and resting, is read my work online the 4 websites and tell me after working what is frozen and why and if it’s a messenger conversation read and occurred it was to see how I am in the face of being insulted and whether he is telling the truth or lying, and treating me like something happened and telling me what is next to come in life, its not a threat to him but if he needs permission to sue me then he can sue me for anything that he thinks, and if he does not consider distress as uncommon to me, then that post is the reason for him viewing my 38 years of life as nothing, and telling me I cant speak to who I love, causes me pain and death and if doesn’t care if I die, its because an officer lied to me and is treating me as stupid or guilty, and if you want to sue me or try to arrest me then file a lawsuit and make your argument but I refuse to be mistreated like anything is my fault.