There’s no place higher than wellness and maybe it was humorous to hear summaries about my mental health and hospitalizations, I can’t fix how I’m interpreted and can do my best as a person who works hard to not also allow my life to become so serious that I get sick or be pushed or treated as though I snap or change or don’t have limits and make good choices. I’ve learned I can lose my battle with voices and those will experiences that make me look mentally ill and for that trauma to be recognized as having been suffered by me and criticize my words or lifestyle as carrying on in way glamorizing mental health as visible or bothering others in stages of life working on yourself. That’s your innocence your sobriety and your wellness and those are privileges jobs and law degrees and staying well to be social and not have problems in life. So while there have been many heartfelt meaningful moments in life that’s always been apart of my story loneliness and later in life making an effort to be out in the world which shouldn’t be any experience that let’s me know anything is wrong with me or anything is about me, you learn that the hard way if ever you’re not taken seriously as a professional or if your story ever becomes known in a way that you should ever feel as though anything is made to be about you or making fun of you with you in mind. No one is ever smart enough to predict how everyone else is going view you in life and your experiences in life shouldn’t be made to haunt you or make you any less cool naive. I would say after years reviewing my own health and story and reflecting on my mental and physical health the best explanation for what could go wrong for you in life will be based on something that you’ve done wrong that you lose acceptances because of. As far as I’m aware you are accepted and can do your best be creative pitch ideas and admire politics and experiment with fashion blogging in work photos and for those fights with your boss to be not so serious and fun saved reactions. Again what will wrong will be something that is going wrong for you if not addressed treated and cleared that can then become a problem visible to others in coming to accept you. Again the difference between acceptance and wellness being special and living a special life will be about figuring out what is wrong with you and maybe later it will matter why the cleaners told you you’re too late and lost a bunch of designer clothes can’t be replaced. And now after having battled addictions and been confronted on lifestyle choices with concern, things will not noticeably go wrong for you until you have done something wrong and that usually becomes the catalyst for anything else spiraling out of control. So work hard, fitness, not worry about being judged by friends keep your homies, remember nothing should go wrong for you until you are suffering from a mental health issue visible to others that should concern others or make you any less trusting or a princess that’s health and privilege can easily be lost due to whether or not you can stay well and how much of what goes wrong for you in life willing to accept as being your fault, something I’m constantly punished for writing in my phone. So what is it about inattentiveness idle time and mental health? If you’re not doing things in life admirable that demonstrate that you are going to make it no one to worry about then you shouldn’t worry about failure and what that winds up teaching you about life, that sometimes based on your own disorganization and unable to battle illness decisions are made for you and sometimes these interventions are intended to help you and sometimes it means being punished for your mental health including who’s been affected by you, nothing I’ve ever defended myself again or didn’t recover from over time taking many years to rebuild my life so that was my experience with punishment and being given a home.

What’s too late are my reports of voices, phone conversations with police, emails written proper, sorting through my life and working hard nothing about life was as intense as it is now with expectation for explanation and review of all medical records as though you don’t have a good handle on your own mental health and perhaps that’s the intended insult that something terrible has happened that everything about you needs review and the fact that everyone is escorted privately spoken to and coordinated consoled and I’m not simply tells me that I’m not being treated as a victim and being told I’m going places I don’t belong and after having written and gotten help and submitted arguments and made every effort on my own to help and improve let’s me know that it’s not my story or what happens in my life that makes me special it’s about being hurt as though I take my own life for granted or present risks to others be accused of being guilty or mentally ill asking for help undeserved so it’s not my job to continue to suffer and be punished and keep punishing me based on my health and make fun of my experiences in life and treat me as someone handled by others without notifying me why, and not caring about my feelings my health or professionalism convince others I’m dying or have done something to harm another’s life and treat me as I am working hard and a writer create an argument accusing me of not being aware of ages or audience likes having shared data and suddenly change me from someone who writes helps one’s self created my own system of dealing with problems overcoming suicide and publicly spread rumor that somethings being brought to my attention I’ve done wrong while I’m the one working blogging and doing my best to be strong however made to suffer accuse me connecting or not struggling and use my observation against me to criticize me as under great suicidal in therapy threaten to put me in jail for explaining my concerns and be treated unfairly. So what’s unclear is the connection between being prosecuted and threatened but not told why, demanding money from me and ignoring me for 6 months and accusing me hiring a new attorney having grievances unreal when clearly I listened and nothing could be done and requesting for medical records was unnecessary and ending up on the ER didn’t seem like s big deal. So punishing me for being hurt and scaring me and convincing me and others that I’m hurtful having been hurt myself and criticizing me for having an issue with being treated like my case is messy is not fairly explained by me, is something I can’t fix or explain if everytime I’m forced to address how I was hurt discriminated made sick. So maybe that reflects my inexperience in court and maybe that’s the punishment feeling sick or scared or having been harmed making fun of my effort to get well and treating me as belongs in jail and expecting me not to be hurt by threats means it’s not me who doesn’t listen or not respect others it’s about what life I’m excluded from and mistreat my honesty and being a public figure accuse me of criticizing what work and hours were spent I’m being asked money for trying to convince me there are things about me I can’t see and this isn’t what I’m alive for to do my best and be lied to or prosecuted based on my analytics and success of my blog suddenly decide I’m not smart enough or professional enough to be addressed and communicated to accuse me of having any government contacts making fun of my work or job as a lie and accuse me of not handling life appropriately continue punish me as though I’m forced to say interpretation insulting and promote that it’s true and continue to use words of intimidation to further convince others of there being something wrong with me beyond the public’s attention and accuse me of being helped or being threatened by those privileged to meet and work together accuse me of jealously …. At this point it’s not about who I am or what was real it’s about being wrongfully accused without me being present and distancing myself from everyone and about being watched and treating me like I do things and told no and need to be told not to do things and accuse me of guilt or harming or lying to someone or being something worse or overheard about me to explain lawsuit there’s nothing that can explain being treated as fake or opportunist or not disabled be treated like I can’t manage myself or don’t deserve value so what was capitalized on was not respecting my love my demeanor personality hard work and taking from me and being close to who I love and making fun of me like I should be affected by closeness and for me to be the only one given a hard time and not appreciate my professional responses to losses …. Life isn’t about determining what is real or be made fun of for not detecting threat and be treated as delusional and wreck my life and my homes and maybe that’s a lesson on how love is made and identities and solution that who enjoys provoking you punishing you and hurting you isn’t affected by anything you go through and as a result of threat instead of it mattering who I was or what’s my fault is not being credited for how I ever cared or reached out, and making my health or trips to the ER and sickness about me not being trusted and another woman is and seek to promote story or lesson about who I am not as a person or what my purpose in life is. That’s an argument you can’t win and game for treating me as loser and not valuing my life or comprehension of life and risk to my life dealt with on my own for years reporting and it wasn’t an emergency for anyone else why I was getting voices suffering. It’s not about who gets to be special and treated as important it’s about why does her being treated as special and important have to do with putting me in jail and if that’s how much work is being done without me and demands for money I don’t have then me discontinuing being hurt is having faith in myself that I don’t deserve punishment and because I don’t have money preferred to just talk to court myself.

I’m sorry that my health and mental health and public shame humiliation was not something I overcame and also my struggle with voices and explanation and honesty was not believed and actually made the condition worse therefore it’s my belief that based on meds and how successful you are well versed in code have promise going to make it is something that happens to you if you are treated as someone paranoid or suicidal convinced you are strong is a trait used to convince you aren’t special and test your mental health using voices accuse me of closeness to family or anyone as disabled.

#personalupdate

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