I gave myself about 10 days to adjust to being a blogger again, following treatment. I was in mental health residential, rehab, hospital, and sober living for the past 7 months. Excuse me for the non-stop writing some days. I just couldn’t hold center. I felt like everything was pouring out of me and nothing was making sense, not to mention disorganized text messages, and an inability to come to a stopping point. I just felt lost in an adjustment phase, where I’m learning how to be more independent and less co-dependent on companions for love. I guess you could say I’m a softie at heart, as strong as my writing might sound sometimes. I actually really enjoy simple conversations about supporting one another, checking in on one another, setting goals, and sending updates.

So normal, what is normal normal to me is feeling settled, with a plan or some kind of schedule that you can go by day to day and fill your time doing things you love, and feeling that reward and sense of accomplishment in completing tasks as you go. I’m the type of person that when I get going I keep going, but if I stop like recently moving home, I can quickly get back into old patterns of laziness, just not doing anything, and I’m tired of being med dependent, I would like to get back to reading books and posting once a day, to me that is living a fulfilling life, and the reward in stats is awesome to see, how many people, just like me thinking about life and just trying to get by in the positive.

I am so proud of me, and I am so proud of each and every one of you (the 300k on cloudflare) for sticking around in troubled times, and continuing to read my blog, no matter what nationality race, ethic background, religion, friendship, connection I have in life, is meaningful in it’s own way, just to know people, you feel a simple feeling of resolution, like aha, I’ve got this, I feel apart of now.