Working on writing my second book, Battling Schizophrenia, solve this disease myself help myself take as long as I need to write this book, overcome bullying and changes in care, getting well, getting sick again, in the end it’s my job to get well, no one else’s job to help me.

Schizophrenia Book
Chapter 3
Written 06/21/24

The worst thing you can do is give up, and even when all hope is lost, and even you have convinced yourself you are mentally ill or can’t handle life, don’t lose faith in still having the ability to get well, no matter how difficult the day or challenging the episode (psychosis) seems to be, don’t worry about what your story is or what everything means, when it comes to your health, the best way to get well, is to focus on yourself, not blame others, be in a position to be helped, and make sure that you are not harmed, nor is anyone who cares about you harmed. That’s the new thing you learn in life when it comes to diagnosis, or history of hospitalization how much have you learned discovering your own deficits and instability on your own, and how does your medical history later become a measure of how many times you are able to recover versus when do you know you’re not feeling well and need help. I learned this the hard way as a blogger, and writer, solutions can be found in any number of ways, and to reverse that feeling of being less than, harmed, or looking bad by diagnosis, a lot can be credited to you for listening and doing well in spite of what others think. With a positive mindset you don’t have to fight voices or worry too much what others think, or need a website, or famous name, or law degree, to make sure you are doing everything right in life, no matter what job or position in life, you will always be required to be professional, so no matter how far you fall in life, don’t quit doing everything right no matter how long it takes you. Don’t succumb to the stigma of mental illness as popularly characterizing criminals or violent people if that’s not who you are, then learn to forget the parts of the diagnosis you feel doesn’t apply to you, and do your best not to take insult. If you view everyones wellness as important not just your own, you should likely come to accept that your difficulties are for you to solve, even if its you suffering. Part of being diagnosed with graver disease or disability, is simply a matter of proving your worth, that you’re a good human being, that you work hard and doing your best, try to avoid the trouble of being defensive or thinking people who have helped you are hurting you, that’s the quickest route to being viewed as mentally ill. Don’t let a delusion of “voices” become some new reality that in the face of any audience or newsfeed lose track of who you are and what you sound like and how much it matters to you to stay well, losing is allowing yourself to get sick, winning is getting well, and not blaming others for your sickness. The more you convince yourself of harm you were not suffering from, or are now suffering from, it will always be clear that it’s based on what you write, and based on the level of support given to different communities and professions, come to accept your place in life, as helped, but always responsible for fitting in, being well liked, not be punished or hospitalized, at risk of harm, or be punished as though your life is lived so poorly that others living better lives, can afford to get sick too, or incur the kind of illness deemed to be your fault, offensive. That’s the risk in diagnosis, it’s not about getting well and being helped, it’s about how you are treated differently, and for how long you should suffer, or suddenly get sick again, like your years in recovery treated or hospitalized, wasn’t overcoming mental illness on your own. I think with a blog, it becomes a matter of credentials, being able to help others, and with a new diagnoses, be accused of writing in a way that’s mentally ill or harmful to the health of others, using your talents or education against you in life, don’t let a diagnosis convince you you are going to die or convince you that anything is your fault. Maybe the best test of whether you are suffering self-harm or harmful to others, is the test about no one talking to you, starting over, separated, losing everything, and function under the test of your head being gone, there are so many ways to get hurt and lose your head, and never think twice about what others are solving and what important decisions they are making for you, remember no one is trying to hurt you, the best way to be helped, is to see the good in others, the quickest route to getting sick, is to not be well, not sound well, use hospital or court or police as some solution to fix something expected to be easy to fix, remember when you give up people get mad, when you isolate, people are focused on themselves, when you are helped and pay huge fees to be helped, you deserve to be helped. Remember its not the diagnosis or difficulty in accepting hurtful definitions online or mean websites, the internet can always change, those are the kinds of battles you let go of in life, this is how to move on, things get heavier, the less able you are to stay well, and the worse you sound, the best way to stay well, is to not react, not cut loose, not get upset, not self-harm, and not get suicidal, the solution is for you to get well and for everyone to feel like theyre on the winning team having supported you, but nothing can go right sick. Learn to accept what diagnosis takes away which med, and what kind of sobriety wasn’t good enough maybe there will always be something about you others see or can tell and that’s an image of wellness you may never be capable of giving anyone the confidence to help you, or make decisions for you, when the time comes to whats been decided for you that’s an opinion you cannot contest, that is an experience you deal with, that becomes something held against you in life, and for everytime you get well and get sick again, don’t stop figuring out a solution for confrontation and don’t forget the mistakes you are making that is leading others to not talk to you, and confront you. Sometimes being a patient, isn’t a team, a lot of getting well, is being on your own, not complaining.

(Removed) blocks due to illness toward me.