A shared sense of pride is what is at stake, when there is a shared interest in preventing mass shootings, and the element of racism and hate stands in the way, when there is dislike, whether that is voices or in reality, that presents a risk, when there is a risk meaning “not popular” or “not liked” that is a risk to feeling good presented with the task of thinking about how to prevent mass shootings, this is what makes people not get involved, it would make me as “popular” in effective to prevent mass shootings if based on race “Jewish” or “Asian” or “Body Type” or “Face” you are determining whether someone who is capable of committing an act of violence would not like me too. So that is the risk to prevention, that although I can help I am not viewed as an effective source of helped based on race and what I look like, and on the basis of hate, money, religion, sobriety, how I speak. When there is no respect for me, that presents a risk meaning I will not be viewed as effective in preventing mass shootings, that’s when people think that a disrespect of me is something that someone capable of committing a violent act does not respect me and therefore will not respect people or everybody, if people read my work, or if anything is about me. This is a problem that is presented by the flyer campaign with “music” 2015, it already happened, I already built a successful website, so a re-launch of a flyer campaign is not the risk that is present or re-presented upon writing from #laxcourthouse, that’s the campaign, upon putting me down in life and humiliating me online that presents a risk and by virtue of the fact that there were mass shootings, we now know that when I am not respected and when I am being humiliated and when I am being defamed, that then becomes something that is questioned as having to do with anything else that goes wrong, so in what way am who I am or what I have to say have to do with the success rate in terms of there being a decreased likelihood of a mass shooting. So what is the purpose of writing from court, when you cannot be helped, and if you are blamed for being grose obese and ugly and trash, there is nothing that you can do to stop a person from hurting you or making you look bad to make themselves look good, and that caused me to feel suicidal, in order to combat suicidal feelings, you have to think about what has occurred what can you do (get a job and applied), what is going on (who do you need to be there for), what are you thinking (made videos on @lesliefischman Twitter), and what do you have to say for yourself (why am I appearing sexual online and how does that make me feel compared to who I am in real life not presenting in that way, and in what way does being exposed hurt my feelings, make me feel scared, and make people unempathetic toward me and think less of me). Therefore me stating “stop mass shootings” is making it a fact at that point in time, that in no way shape or form, is my health to be considered as a scale for measuring the likelihood of a mass shooting, or blame me as though me being hurt has anything to do with a mass shooting, and also not to use my diagnosis of schizophrenia to explain for a mass shooting, or accuse me of having bad ideas, or being confusing, or hard to understand or not making sense, or accuse me of being sick or self harming or suicidal. I think like everyone else you can work and get sick and life can be too much, and this is one of those sickening subjects that makes me feel sick to explain, is not anything anyone wants to hear, is what people find difficult and disabling to comprehend or make sense of, and that’s using me to explain or to determine whether I am not liked and knowing Im not liked blog, I would never blog if I ever had problems ever in life, its not a system for staying well separate from what you do in real life, people have jobs and stay well, I blog and stay well and this is my job, therefore I don’t like to have to take the risk that Im not capable of stopping mass shootings, and make a card that says stop mass shootings and don’t drop care, because its what happened to me upon mass shootings, care was dropped, and Im being made to look like me having a job and working is related or increases a likelihood of shooting or now in Marina del Rey “homicide” so now with a new job after writing for more than 6 months and launching a website and now that mass shootings have stopped, I am trying to go back to work. Although things may not be perfect, I have to accept that people will think whatever they want they can hate you for any reason, its not my job to love everybody be nice to everybody or be hurt by everybody, that’s their problem with me which is none of my business, Im out here online talking to everyone, and getting threats, and trying to work, and date again, and eventually be independent, Im 38 therefore this is the year that determines whether I can be financially stable on my own, and decide for myself what the rest of my life will look like. I did my best, people have tried to ruin my life on several occasions, I get bullied and there is nothing that I can do about it, and no lawsuit can explain to everyone in every way that Ive been hurt and ignored, and rejected and not accepted and be given no reason or explanation for why Im being discriminated and forced to have conversations in life that are uncomfortable, and not allow me to move on in life, and not ruin my life again, not for anyones purpose to communicate anything about me. Im a human being, Im not a robot, I am only capable of loving one person, I can try to date it takes many years to be close to a person, and I don’t have to decide what the rest of my life will look like right now, all I have to do is stay alive, be grateful for friendships, and not be hurt again, to hurt everyone I know and embarrass me and cause me suicide like that’s helping anyone who I know, accuse me of being uncomfortable, or not working hard, and not normal, hurt me again. Don’t give up!