I think the problem with technology and health is about your medical records being used as some excuse for deciphering whats wrong with you when and why, and I would have never been hospitalized if I knew it was something I would be made fun of for later in life, or turned into some experiment about causing me sickness, that’s now what your story and medical records are for, misdiagnosing you now, as though anything now is relevant to anything past, I think the same truths can occur and although that may cause me hardship, that’s doesn’t mean that I should get sick again or what hospitalization means. The fact that my condition worsened “voices” as a result of considering going to the hospital, means that I was not recognized as a responsible adult seeking therapy, and be given options, but instead was used as excuse to question my mental health and decision making. Sometimes it not you that gets upset and hurt that determines your health, and although you may be a good person who means well, no difficulty should be a reflection of whats wrong with you or others, or become some recipe for difficulty made future. In the end there there a loss in the DeNiro family, so although I was in NY for one night, that doesn’t mean that I would not have anything to think about or something of value to say to prevent a loss future, and maybe that was the misunderstanding of me not blogging, that I was staying well, or getting well not facing problems in life or taking a break in difficulty as though Im responsible for voices or a confronting force against me that I cannot stop, its become apparent to me that “voices” is not only something that cannot be cured, it is also something that is not believed and something that others think you should be responsible for, so not blogging is not my idea of not getting voices, I don’t think my experiences with voices occurred before blogging, would tell me that blogging would do away with a problem occurring not blogging, come back or an issue be revisited. If voices is a team against you, that grows out of their anger toward you, then that’s a team that is not proven wrong, but is not given any ammunition or reason to be justified in so hurting you, so that’s a team against you that you cannot prove “voices” and upon disclosure, becomes something about you that you are believed to be responsible for. I don’t think that not living life, is avoidance of not acquiring any voices, and Ive never thought about life, as quiring voices, based on who you connect with, changed, or made different, not even who I correspond with, believed to disctate what voices I get or what I sound like, its safe to say that at this limit, I can work on being alone for the rest of the year, and focus on my writing, until the issue of “voices” is clarified and Im not changed harassed stalked or punished, to confirm or make difficult my life, or be wrongfully accused as being hurt by voices, accuse me of causing upsets or difficulty to anyone else. When I said “accept complexity” that doesn’t mean that I think complexity is a joke, or someone who should suffer from something complex, accuse me of not being sensitive or courteous of my surroundings and others, whats been made clear by voices is the response “combative from me in response to voices” and that’s the negative judgment that is acquired by diagnosis to mistreat me as someone who has a physical or mental difficulty be wrongfully accused as speaking as though anyone else would inherit a difficulty in speaking. I think the goal was voices and to get me to shout fuck you leave me alone, and maybe the end result was me complaining about all the support that was cut from me, and time invested in getting well, not appreciated or valued, that doesn’t mean that I should get worse otherwise or face harsher circumstances in life. So that’s a product of being called schizophrenic you get viewed as though you shout at others, so that’s misunderstanding your difficulty, or misinterpreting your difficulty by insult wrongfully accuse me of being insulting toward anyone, to cause someone with no medical history a difficulty in comprehension, or speaking wise. We are all professionals, I think whats not clear is my innocence, in the end its not how I was or what I sounded like, its why the punishment, why the permanent injury to my reputation and what does that solve about society and things going right, let alone any code, which should not be reinforced, by criminalizing me or destroying my identity compare me to any other offender and try to kill or punish me as though I am anyone who is successful paid in interaction with anyone use or abuse any position of power, to make or create for anything to go my way, its not in my characters or traits to control anyone, or to convince anyone to think anything, or perform in any way, to have anyone think something of me, or immune from the responsibility of making sure that no one I know is harmed, and no one is made to look bad by me, or from being in my life, however is the status of our relationship and health. So know that me not being safe matters what matters also is that I should not be safe, or be shouting and then be victimized on the basis of whats made difficult that I cant prove. Helping is not a game or prevention, past a loss, either you can help, or you cant help, its not something me as a person avoids, or willingly or confidently addresses as though it could be my fault or anyone else’s fault, it’s clear that after Lisa Marie Presley passed, that became a loss relevant to whatever happened to me in life, sought as association to, criticize who I am as a person, or who I love or how I love, or whats true. Its certain that no one is popular online if they have done anything wrong, or taken advantage of anyone innocent, or trying to improve, that’s not what my story is for, to be a false wellness, or of anyone who hasn’t reflected on life and recovered so much so, that someone else, can be strong enough to not give up or make the same mistakes, and certainly not for anyone to conclude that anything is o wrong with society, or has happened so wrong to me, to justify a loss, or anyone taken by any teams in life, suggesting for loss by lethal doses of pills being circulated in society, should also not put people at risk of harm, die because of.