TO:                              US SUPREME COURT

FROM:                        LESLIE A. FISCHMAN

DATE:                        NOVEMBER 6-8, 2022

RE:                              Mental Health Update & Blog/Website

To Whom It May Concern:

I has been 10 grueling years battling mental health issues and I am still here today because I have always had faith in the Government and Government Officials, no matter what the turn out or chain of events seem to take hold. I know that I am not the only one suffering from mental health issues, and that my diagnoses are not unique to me, especially as a blogger online, to see how many feel heard or understood by my posts and can relate somewhat to what I’m thinking or sharing about. I hope to stay relevant, it’s my worst fear to come across as out of touch with reality or “schizophrenic” viewed as having a big head, or big ideas that are impossible. 

I recently worked as a Paralegal at a Civil Litigation law firm, you would be proud. Despite my new diagnosis of “schizophrenia” on meds Invega or Geodone, Trazedone, Metformin, Prozac, and Adderrall, I was able to lose 30lbs and get a paid job, my first paid job in law. As a Paralegal I composed 2-3 Oppositions to Motion for Summary Judgment, two Mediation Briefs, Deposition Questions, and Responses to Discovery Requests, in primarily Personal Injury Cases. 

I may still have a long way to go keeping a level head on my shoulders, but that has not stopped me from focusing on my goals in life, to live a positive life and to help others. Recently things have become difficult since leaving my job following 3 shootings, one by my work following two shootings one in Laguna Woods and one in Texas. As a member of Brady this concerned me, and have since decided to not work, focus on my health, and what can be said. There is always something that can be said in lieu of events to prevent any series of blames that leave anyone feeling guilty or at fault who are not in the wrong and have done nothing wrong. 

I once called the FBI on a recorded line and told them, “I think they are trying to put things together on me,” that’s feeling like you are being read by criminals or thinking that people are trying to create acts in conspiracy to your condition or identity. To which they replied, “do not call us.” So for whatever it is worth I have decided to come forward, to see what can be done in terms of being both a public identity online, to which people on IMDb and Alexa can integrate or review my work to improve their own solutions moving forward, or hear from someone directly impacted by shootings particularly in this instance, see what can be done in terms of more support, never to decrease support or shame people for the after effects of any shooting in general or for whatever reasons it may come to be.

It’s to my understanding that my health matters, when I am not well this affects others, it affects how they feel about me, it creates worry, and in the reverse it can create a loss of support, or being ignored. That is not my goal as a public speaker and writer online, my goals are to achieve a sense of clarity in spite of events, and not be perceived as delusional, meaning with awareness of what is ongoing and working toward prevention consistently. I have always shared my ideas for prevention and what is working for everyone. Everyone is entitled to work independently of one another and feel good and not be bothered by the problems of others, however these recent shootings I felt like I was initially met with disappointment and disdain as though I have failed in any way. I was working my hardest while my Father was dying visiting him at the hospital everyday to cheer him up and talk to him, and he encouraged me to get a job and lose weight and that is what we were working on together. Eventually I lost 30lbs and was able to get a paid job in law my first paid job in law, after working with a Career Coach and taking a break from Therapy to cover for the expenses, and approximately $600 was past due, that I was required to pay in the first few months of working, be taken from my paycheck, and was considered an urgent matter, because one payment was cancelled by my Mom who has access to my Credit Card, and disputed. To which I was accused or wrongdoing by someone who worked with me as a Career Coach, I met through a Elementary School Writing Teacher Mrs. Bickle, who introduced me to Sable Worthy and her coaching company “Think Negotiate.” Sable grew upset with me because I had not finished the payments for the services she provided and because I got a job she felt that she was entitled to be paid for her services which she believed worked, all occurring during the time of my Father’s passing, and Funeral, which I requested for some time to get the money together, which my Mother would not give me, cutting back on expenses. In turn Sable accused me of defrauding her out of $300 which I paid, and was disputed by my Mom, which showed up on her Credit Card statement she said that a Dispute shows up as Fraud on her record. I think I would know how Fraud shows up, it shows up on my Experian because I was frauded by a job by a company who called itself “Fort Myer” and actual world reknown construction company and establishment, and convinced me to work for them remote from DC after interviewing and opening a credit card in my name through First Premier Bank which I am about to sign an Affidavit regarding the incident of “Identity Theft” and which has been reported to the FBI, as well as other cases in which I was given a fake job or professional contact, and money was taken from me.

Staying fit is not only important for mental health, but it also affects how you are treated, based on how alert you are mentally, either judged as being at fault, or carrying a guilt that prevents you from functioning in your role in life, whether that’s Paralegal or Life Coach, Personal Development Blogger, and Website. I fully understand the ramifications of not being well, you feel threatened by everyone, you get sick, physical illness, or mental illness, that causes you to think people are talking to you or talking about you, or sending you voices, and this can cause me self-harm and suicide. It’s to my understanding naturally then when something needs to be done in place of a harm or a hurt and to strike up a conversation that would clarify the issue or lack of continuity of attitude toward me in life, it would be to address “The People’s” concerns. “The People” have the right to feel apart of, know of identities and inspirations, and feel heard and related to on the basis of where they stand in life, whether they know me or don’t know me, support me or don’t support me, or hate me, that is their right to relate to the material that is provided and to be spoken for, not put in the defensive, for liking things, watching things, picking up on code, or feel guilty if I was being made fun of or shamed online or through any other way of communication, feel apart of a “taunting” that would be blamed for a “changed condition” to then blame a condition as influencing an act by another. I very well recognize that if I am not well, or combative, or rebellious, or complain online, that that puts others at disease, that makes others feel torn, that makes people pick sides, and unlikely my side will be taken, and that’s how you get grouped with criminals, viewed as similar and different from “The People” and what “The People” want and how their concerns should be voiced, not violate those concerns or opinions in life, and encourage people to speak up and work in defense of themselves that is their right to be heard.

Once you get sued for Harassment, you are no longer allowed to play victim, you are no longer allowed to complain, you are viewed as someone who has to earn back the trust and respect from others, in order for you to thrive, and should you resist, suffer by your own faults in life, or from an over focus of what you have been considered to have done wrong in life. Once you get arrested you are viewed as combative or irresponsible, negligent “driver” after two drinks, or loose lipped (confrontational or combative) and those become the reasons for disassociation from you, the fact that you are not well around others, lively, or crumble, and I have never known for what reasons that happens to me, to not be able to stand tall or feel well around others, that could be a product of paranoia, or insecurity, affecting my ability to feel well and secure around people, so far so good, everyone is talking to me, sitting with me, approaching me, greeting me, opening doors for me, I am engaging, I am apart of, I am fitting into my new neighborhood, I am a pleasant surprise.

What needs to be suppressed are the feelings that are associated to modeling, being exposed, or being rejected in person by someone I grew to love and open up to in a loving way Todd Spitzer. It hurts me that he doesn’t view me as protecting him or benefiting him, and views me as a threat based on how he was treated or spoken of by others. People will have their own issues in life, the worst case scenario is that it’s their issue with you on a personal basis do not like you, feel threatened by you, or victimized by you based on the crimes occurring in Orange County and Texas, feel as though your influence in life is source of bad luck. To make him feel better I applied to the Shorty Impact Awards and was nominated for Best Special Project, that means I have created something of value, that talking to people in private was viewed s a good thing, that I have something going for myself, to encourage me to continue providing, and to support me in how I demonstrate my version of help online and the content that I create for viewing by others.

Negativity is hard on all of us, trust me I get negative voices taunting me when I am not doing well or not performing to standard, I and neither do you need to be pushed in that way, pushed by negativity is recipe for disaster, you off speak, you flip out, you don’t sound like yourself, then you get physical illness, mental illness, become suicidal or self-harm, and then people grow to detest you, not feel inspired by you, combative toward you, see you as weak, and then think you are guilty. 

Goal setting has been key to my recovery, maintaining a rigid medication distribution schedule organized by my Mom who manages my Adderrall on a daily basis, so that I don’t overdo my meds, or take too many day meds, which I have been told worsen the condition of “schizophrenia.” Despite my frustration on Invega, sleepless nights, nightmares, and lack of the ability to write and assemble blog posts and convince others of my positive spirit. When I cut back doing something that I love to do blog and write quotes, while undergoing treatment for “schizophrenia” due to decreased functioning and ability to take care of myself or work (Clozapine, No Adderrall, and Invega for 6 months to a Year). If I cannot accurately and fluidly speak and describe what is ongoing on in my mind about what is happening to me or why, it is determined that because I do not speak with “clarity” that I have schizophbrenia, or a negative mind, because I got voices who were calling me “Pervert” because I was not dating or having sex and because I chose to talk to Todd Spitzer in private and grew to love him, initially scared of him, apologetic and introduced myself over and over again and tried to get on his good side, for whatever benefit that served, once something bad happens you have to start over with people in positions of power or prestige and that I have learned the hard way, what losing support is like, and to not react on the basis of who supports me, or can talk to me, and to respect the spaces of others, and their professional inability to help someone, who is under duress for things that other people have done, and being blamed for going to Law School and being a Law Student, graduating and being found nude online and called a “Pervert” by someone I spoke to on private on messenger who demanded nude photos from me, in exchange for him masturbating to me and giving me love.

It seems that other matters became more important to endure, for reasons I don’t know why, why someone and people take it upon themselves to detroy my life and my career. I won’t let them, I am determined, to rise above those issues, and focus on the main point of blogging to provide a thoughtful and educated service to others, in the event of things ongoing, to avoid fighting or attacking people on the basis of how criminals make things look. Such as the creation of a fan website mymollydollfan.com (to make me look like Im sexual, when I was modeling for someone who said that he loved me and wanted sex from me, and wanted to zoom with me and talk to me on the phone, who is older than me, who I blindly spoke to on Messenger before seeing his face, I didn’t care who at the time, I just wanted someone to talk to, who talked to me and was excited for me and impressed by me). I was extremely uncomfortable during the year that that website was up and did my best to handle it like a professional and get help get a Detective and figure out how to remove a website and Facebook Page, which was very difficult for me, and felt the backlash and discomfort was undeserved, and gained weight, and was not doing all the things that were keeping me well, because I was made to feel bad about myself, convinced to die or commit suicide.

Life is not over, you just need to get stronger. And put aside what could’ve shoudve wourldve happened aside, the website was taken down before all shootings, that I did right in life, removed an impetus to attack me, whether they successfully attacked me too in addition to completing shootings is up for “The People” to decide whether it was deserved that my good character gets attacked by shootings that are created to make you think of me a Law Student, and Im sure I was not the only Law Student affected by the play on words occurring “Laguna Woods” and the character Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, it was upsetting and hurt the head I’m sure for everyone to wonder or feel affected by, not that I was known in common to many, but if I cannot prevent then I should not be online, and be used to cause incident with a condition that is failing or considered suicidal. 

mymollydollfan.com was witnessed by 8 million people, at the time I was told to block this individual and was not allowed to blog, because, blogging was viewed as causing me mental health problems, when it was helping me and what I felt good about myself in life doing, learning. That website sought to defame me and connect me to criminals, and to cause others to feel disgusted by me, view me as grose or slutty, or unintelligent. The opposite of what my blog portrayed, someone who is organized, knew her issues, and spoke well, clearly. Instead I became someone who can barely speak, easily hurt or confused made jealous, and tormented or easily abused by others, robbed (reported to FBI), and embarrassed humiliated online for reaction of teams in life, I don’t think people should be controlled on the basis of reactions, life is far too important to have to react and respond to cues in life, to me that’s schizophrenia, cued in to react.

In response to the shootings, I have decided to improve my image online, to only share perfect pictures clean faced, to not make videos until I can speak with confidence, attend AA meetings as I was, continue to call 911 or report any incident in which I am made to feel bad or intimidated by others, and do my best to get along with others, and find my place in the world among others, not be a shocking or uncomfortable subject in life, keep to myself as I always have been and work. I am also taking courses on Udemy to improve the quality of my blogging to not be limited to my own issues or diagnoses, and learn how to “Prevent” crime, which has all since gone done, means that by contributing in a way that is continuous everyday, makes a difference in the look and feel of everything else to hear something first and to then be able to work on it, improve, and present better, or a better take on things, its when you don’t say anything, illness builds, within you and toward you, that’s until you speak you are treated as guilty for talking to Todd Spitzer, treated. So it will take a lot of courage on my part, to undo that harm that Todd Spitzer has suffered due to his reputation being affected, as well as what others have to say about me talking to him on Messenger, which I have been told he does not read, so at what point can I be helped without affecting others, and in what way can I be helped and improve and for others not to be negatively impacted upon me doing well, in what way can I look good and also make others look good.

Sincerely,

Leslie Fischman

lesliefischman.com

ABA Certified Paralegal

Thomas Jefferson School of Law, MSL