You may never understand the difference between when you are living a good life, compared to when your life has changed for worse, in enough time, to spared the unnecessary heartache and suffering, that’s what’s too late. Coming to accept diagnosis and definitions of a diagnosis I have never seen myself as, may simply be coming to accept as others see me, whether or not that point in time has occurred yet, is possibly the lesson in the inevitable lesson of not being in control of who you become, and that not being your choice or in your control, and the lesson of being told how serious your condition is, as a public lesson that reflects negatively on how seriously you take life, and in what way should you suddenly be affected with a truth that hurts. What becomes true upon being forced to adjust and accept a new diagnosis, is how you sound, what you say, and what people think of you, that changes for the rest of your life, no matter whether you improve, or anyone outgrows their impetus for punishing you, and defending themselves, when so much goes wrong, its almost accepted as normal to who harms you whether you have disclosed or considered that, and a condition that is not believed you do not recognize assuming is your fault, how a person would feel meeting you or being made to connect with a person who is not worth their time or is being considered or accused of anything being their fault, no matter what theories are later shared or come to be, the fault lies in which human experiences are justified not being in the wrong for being wrong towards me empathized with, based on a known or known acceptance in furtherance of a reaction for blame, and for my health to be determined by who I am and what I come to consider as being my fault or taking responsibility for. Its not sickness that teaches you what is your fault, its in wellness made sick again, that you learn that who you were or what you’ve said is not enough for another to reconsider their grievances and upsets and continue to treat you as someone who should be recognized as forced to accept what hurts as though deserved, and for me, that doesn’t justify 38 years of life or at what point my struggles in life were not pains in life I did not recognize affected my family, or a discomfort unrecognized or a place in life of achievement beyond the comfort level of the privacy of those who are considered of value to me, human, not to be subject to same about bullying or disdain for my life, story or innocence. If you haven’t learned yet, what life is about, its not about when you are known and what that changes its about what you remember and at what point should you be affected and blamed for the feelings of others however caused, when true or false about your condition or health, and what needs a proving, a test of your faith or consideration for the feelings of others assuming its you and do care, or a telling, I think it’s a preference of assuming you are living life without consideration and affecting others, before you are known or in a place in life, that you should be responsible, so what ends up happening to you in life, the inevitable, is not who you are when you’ve cared or what treatment has been about, its until all the moments that you’ve remembered of others not being well, becomes the system of exposing you and repeated periods of sickness until what is true or changed, your subjection, the tone or race of any persons described, or whos feelings don’t matter? I think my feelings don’t matter when its believed that I am living a life worse than it is, or have been hurt and have not communicated that hurt well enough to not be hurt, so that’s whats consistent about improving to not bother, affected by distaste, and unrecognized discomfort or acceptance for my posture dress personality and mental health, life stops when you get sick, so that was the fear of accepting what hurts a diagnosis with an inevitable conclusion that’s bound for sickness, and is bound for worse, and will not improve, recover, either convincing you to give up by accepting you will never get well and will always feel sick be told to go to the hospital, and for that to be the constant lesson in determining where I belong, when things go wrong, maybe if Im well, it may have been a lesson Ive learned to late, that when I am not viewed as caring or prevention, then you wind up getting treated as being put away or hospitalized with a belief created that wrong occurs around you, and for that to be the facts about you established in life, to determine your faith, as though you have ever considered yourself someone who fills a room with joy or lights others up a person loving lovebale or warm the issue. I think being locked out of two accounts @mymollydoll Twitter and Instagram @mymollydoll1985 has been two lessons on indecision and lack of confidence, that when whats left up or whats archived is viewed as a condition of comfort or variable for things wrong or right going for you, that becomes the things about you that makes you not trusted and used as ammunition to subject you to choices permanent as a way of treating you as though you are well, seemingly confident to issues making you out to sound easy to speak to the subject of school shootings, the one photo on @mymollydoll1985 that makes me seem stupid and belong somewhere that I don’t. Sometimes what is left out and what you’ve lost access too is intended to force you to be stuck with things you’ve said and permanently judged as though you have supported the wrong people or ever made an excuse for news or topics to be spoken to unprofessionally ever making an excuse of exposures, therefore in what way have I been hurt by a comment about “Miramax” it’s that instead of hearing in what way would a personal comment be made, I was made to face death sickness and teamed up on as a me too lesson on the word “harassment” and what the “P” word is and what respect is about, lost, like the diagnosis, its not what you’ve done wrong stated, its that what you’ve done wrong confirmed, becomes not whats about you hard to see, its being treated as though you are someone who has been punished, and keep moving on, not recognizing the mental health difficulty meds or disability not in your control, why you have changed, or what Twitter ever had to do about your focus in life off. You are not made to think about whether anyones name is a representation of who your boyfriend is at Chapman, by “Geogina Chapman’s” name, who decidedly did not support who she dated, and in return made me sound stupid like I took her name personally and turned it into I encouraged her to support a prosecuted offender in jail for life on a walker, and treat me as though my opinion was wrong, for not stating why is your name “Chapman” the same name as the3 school my 5^th boyfriend in life (while OJ is in jail and I am the only person from a story not named interviewed supported or offered protection of victim services to therapy or be conditioned to accept a hard life or a hard time as a reality past or one to accept in life known then or more so now, the same disbelief is why are you here, or why were you sick, and why have you recovered, and what have you not learned “the issue is rape” which is why I should cancel and delete my IMDb membership on the basis that its viewed as “addressing an issue or some place I don’t belong viewing my sense of humor or story or comments on @mymollydoll as inconsiderate or insensitive, and failing to view a fact in common as support or how people become known or respected, maybe that’s the system of managing celebrities and truths, but Ive never been any where near recognizing or made to think of any system in which people are known representing things ideas or people in common to who else is known, and be considered someone who is a known or more known joke, or an insensitive comment or threat disrespectful to who was the spouse of someone being convicted for his atrocious astrocities over the years to well known beloved talented actresses during the course of their careers, so what becomes unreal or disrespectful of me, the comment proved insulting by “Georgina Chapman” is prioving Im an idiot and sound like Im supporting or worried for the health of someone famous I don’t known, as a result of that Twitter Account that has caused my stomach to turn and never able to regain access to, no phone, account access, or combination of remembered emails or passwords worked, leaves what out in the open, what Ive said at that point in blogging (a big picture or sensitive subjects stated insensitively, or a creative way to state what I think openly having one experience of committing suicide, the last time I ever thought about life as a whole and what I was stepping into in life, made aware of losses. Ive never known life to be any place I should feel comfortable and have never lived life to learn the lesson of sickness and rejection from establishment, sometimes in consideration of what you remember, is later viewed as what association in common to you are subjects you are treated as avoidant of or responsible for, whos faith, promise, and knowledge of why things working out matters and whether you are anywhere in life made to stop upon things not working out, to know what your potential is, how is smart determined, sometimes smart is not an issue, until less is possible for you, what matters less is when you were driven and positive hopeful loving and spirited apart of hopeful, everyone forgets those moments in life, and what gets remembered with a hard life is what has been said and until you are made to get sick treated like you aren’t affected by whos upset or discount any reason why you have left a relationship, what have you given up on and who has been hurt and what is my job or considered my fault, so I apologize for saying no one looks bad given the benefit of the doubt and is not considered guilty of harming me, based on whether its been proven or not am I someone who is not well to date, has a life or duty or life more clear alone or destined with any purpose better than to remain with who I love, and at what point is a loss considered by fault, a loss is viewed as my fault, when after 38 years of being alive and caring about everyone I loved and never questioning on what basis things have not worked out for the punishment to be treating me as not special and being proud of who I loved and their recovery and independence as a “Georgina Chapman” lesson on how Leslie learned about when things are about her and permanent record of how Leslie sounds speaking to who she thinks knows her, punished for, as well as any others acceptance for facts difficult in life (why 9/11 happened, or a positive statement in prevention, if it could be stopped how, a finance degree that required for me to read the laws made relevant to a statement made by me, questioning as to what brought me to make a statement or journal in my apartment read by my neighbor and whats unpatriotic about thinking about life or how things are connected or known, and to treat me as anyone who remembers life as ways to help others, or think that my life is about getting a handle of illustrating connections wrongfully blaming me as presenting OJ as guilty or communicating flying me to Florida, and instead of “wrongful death” recognized as a serious lawsuit, not mistake me for a law student non-attorney who is says big words and doesn’t get scared and doesn’t suffer repercussions, to reinforce what reality, is that when anyone likes me and I talk to someone who likes me and they get upset its been confirmed that it means its is my fault, therefore no one explains to you “whether upsets reflect things not happening affecting anyones faith who loves you think you are someone who has a future or stays or leaves based on being well or criticize me for improving or being well alone, sometimes who you are alone is viewed as insult based on what didn’t work out for you, so its not the emails that show any moment in time that makes me look strong, it shows how I responded to someone upset with me and how I was affected ultimately by who I loved being upset with me, and whats forgotten is what was true or (be accused of what inevitably becomes true, being taught whats true by what others say, being taught what hurts by getting hurt, being treated as things not going right based on considering separation not viewed as protecting mistreated as handling a reality absent a better life, treat you as having the propensity or experience trying to speak to people in big places or the wealthy inconsiderately or not in words, so whats the most effective way to communicate to known figures of a trial, where you drive, or what is your reaction, its your reaction you are condemned for and a reaction occurring anytime you are faced with difficulty, is when you are punished as reacting without words or success in difficulty is misunderstood as anger, making an effort not viewed as heart, having no help or training in life to live life as disabled after failure losing my JD is nothing that life trains you for, or what life is like post breakup, all that you should learn about when you had a good life, and at what point you left a life to focus on yourself, the inevitable that occurs is not when accused and untrue, its at what point you get sick and punch your head suicidal and that’s what makes or proves you don’t know if your going to commit suicide or not, sometimes we get to choose punishment for improbability, and instead of viewing the innocence in separation and going out, life has become more about not how have I helped, but how have I shown care and misunderstood as though Im confronting issues places I don’t belong or accusing me of places or establishments in life to illustrate me as someone who doesn’t care or inappropriate doing things in life because of losses, isn’t what justifies upsets toward you and sickness is sometimes the easiest way it is made clear that upsets are about where you shouldn’t be and when getting sick is upsetting not empathized with, is when your hurt doesn’t matter if you try to make life seem like people loved you and you chose to get sick or face danger or make fun of you as a reaction location joke, unimpressed. Since insult was viewed as though I made a big deal hurt which was real or explainable true or made true isn’t the inevitable lesson I need to be taught about failure loss of my JD smarts and the ability to marry and be loved, that’s not the inability to move on lesson about who is wrong or right or reaction a public disclosure to remind me of moments I was sick and continue to be punished as sick and should know why like the common thread to anything being too much or my fault is why I am once able to be liked, and at what point it doesn’t matter who tries to help me, and I am sick punching my head, so what fact about life is my fault or asking the police for help, that’s not what stupid or strategy or honest of me that’s not what makes me undeserving of love or who I dated someone worse than I am, right now is a “reaction, excuse misunderstanding” viewing my explanation of December to June 2017 as something it wasn’t or should expect or warned or told not to do something accuse me of repeatedly showing up anywhere being told no or after being shouted at or treat me as though asking for help is what becomes true about me to make me not belong at a bar, I the end no one is responsible for me getting sick, hitting me head, suicidal, arrested, and in addition no other person hooked up with is responsible because no one understands why I would punch my head and expects me to know why like that’s a known condition, or out in public with a mental illness that cant be around people, so sometimes its not whats gone wrong or what goes wrong that needs to happen to teach people “myself” lessons on “whast too late” or “who loves me and is right” and also not to view me as someone who “reacts” ends up places “rejected” and should be held accountable or recognize “when they express something as being too late” it needs to be put in words what is the loss or heartbreak in reaction (its what you do or don’t take responsibility for how you’ve been harmed and your innocence or in what way are you treated as though another is harmed and your not innocent). Im pretty sure by the phone contacts discrepancies not made by me was the mistake highlighted or what became rumor about me about how Ive fucked up and what life is to not subject others to, the constant lesson is not about when I feel victimized, its about whos protected or feelings respected and am I someone who needs to be hurt to be told whats my fault treated as not hurt when someone I love is upset with me responsible for responding to them (phone dying or not), so that’s the truth that is repeatedly whats wrong witb me, and the hookup after fighting that is what causes me to not be loved, and the constant blame for why would I talk to someone giving me a hard time, who takes personally I have headphones on, and in what way does seeing him again and being ignored, hurt my feelings, its about who I am and not how Ive changed that makes who appear better and why, its about at what point in life am I not happy, and in what way do I view anothers improvement insensitively, will be in what way do I lose, or in what way does anything happen to me in life, I should know will. So life is not about who is made right and loves you, life is about when things are wrong, when you appear wrong, and when you are sick or don’t feel good and rejected, is when it doesn’t matter who hooked up with you, its about whether you are someone of value not a failure or “schizophrenic” to be confused as anyone dangerous or having any history or self harm or violence toward self that should be disclosed or communicated to anyone befriending you, that’s a lesson in life you don’t learn, no one cares when you are hurt or sick, if they think you were hurtful or are places at risk of harm and don’t listen, so people who love you want whats best for you, they cannot be proven wrong, so everytime things are well, the constant test is when you get sick, how does everyone else appear, who is not wrong who is not to blame making your police conversations stupid all questions asked, and continued punishment of me based on getting sick and being punished and who is responsible for arrest, I am that was my choice, that was my hurt, that was my reaction, that was my innocence, that was my loss of my JD that was my difficult time that was my effort, it was my concern, it was my focus and nothing is promised in any moment of failure and never in my life has intimacy ever been such a casual experience or me so hot whatever disrespect who I am or am not attracted to of issue, when people think you hook up and hit your head get mental illness and wrongfully punish you of accusing men of hurting you or raping you, the more and more respect is lost for you and you end up sick and the more and more what they think and how they appear look and feel becomes true, proving you are not hot, claim to be insulted when youre not, hear about you positive description punishing you for your discomfort or reactions, making fun of your experience in life, or knowledge of what is or is not rape, and treating you as though any breakup is easy or treat like relationships are easy, Ive never had a boyfriend for the rest of my life, so please don’t make my life about being taught truths or made tough by experiences accuse me of not being playful or failing to recognize whether Im famous or not accuse me being at a bar too much. The lesson is when you get hurt its your fault and anytime anyone upset its your fault, and what is considered your fault is the anticipated expectation of anyone upon meeting you until it’s a known and true reality expecting for someone strong or someone who thinks theyre somebody or not respectful or stupid, as continued confirmation of whats wrong with me, never in my life hospitalized would I later learn that life is then about getting hurt and getting sick and going to the hospital, mistreated as a person who is then treated as the cause for things going wrong blame your driving or exit that day instead of showing that your health has been affected youre viewed as someone who stands out or brings about feelings in others possessing them to crash or commit hanious acts accuse you of enraging anyone or accuse you of being insensitive or not take seriously incidents on TV as not normal, therefore to make clear whether I care or not, its become a lesson of not messaging or talking in private viewed as someone trying to figure life out and getting sick as a lesson not recognized Im sure sickness and hurt is something that will permanently be considered my fault, and any loss or driving route considered an avoidance of an issue, and that you cant stop who takes a look at your life, and doesn’t care about whether you are well, able to help, or cant help others, or what is spoken to depending on where you are, its about when your attitude has changed, when you have a bad attitude, when you are mentally ill and not innocent is not the inevitable lesson to reinforce my losses treat me as not hurt permanently and not moving on, of course an even more painful lesson is not only see others as better without me, but accuse me of being so sick or sick in the first place that I became something secret Ive done or was, or bound to happen again, or cant be overcome, like I was not already suffering after hospital, so sometimes its not clear what pains you have lessons you’ve learned, until you become someone worse off and don’t return to living life, and no one remembers who you were or what you were like, so that’s my upset now, that instead of being careful and improving and also not making anyone look bad or be viewed as not understanding how famous a story is and accuse me of being a trashy representation for fame, or female empowerment, strong or where I am or who I am without appreciation for who has died and which lives have been permanently changed, its more about at what point is it justified to illustrate you as careless of utilizing people places or photos to represent issues not shocking or deadly dilemma posed to me as a human being accuse me of not going to the hospital or a person who can negotiate or lie to medical professionals knows what to say to be admitted to a hold in a room or taken elsewhere my choice, its never my choice, and not listening isn’t my fate, and breakups aren’t my truth or why Im strong, like everyone you are alive and strong when you are allowed to be well, and when you look bad that is considere3d your fault, and to accept everyone appears better than you is not code to make fun of my Instragram @mymollydoll1985, its treating me as though I am stupid or sick by choice, and whats at risk is not when Im hurt or disabled it would “times up” “catch up” “treat similar” “forced acceptance” “reality true” to make fun of my timelines in life, if life is some formula for being viewed as stupid then its better to not talk about life, since nothing can be solve honest and result is “schizophrenia” its now true that anytime I get upset its my fault, anytime I don’t speak direct “treated as guilty” any loss spoken to “viewed as my fault” and why are losses now viewed as my fault because I was diagnosed as schizophrenic, to accuse me being something and now Im fucked anything that happens is because Im sick and cant get well or don’t know when to stop or a people care don’t care “had enough” misunderstanding, its about “change” and attitude what am I like disabled and what does that prove is true or correct about me and determine is my fault “what reactions” and “what about suicide” its treating me as someone who lives life without consequences, or lives life to extremes, or didn’t deserve to reconnect with friends, ultimately its about “reactions” and whats not empathized with crying everyday for a year losing my Dad and that he was dying and I never made it back in time to make him proud talk to him and be apart of my family, when I blurted out a noise, as everyone dumped dirt on my Dad’s coffin, and what was inappropriate or untrue about my Father’s death, my sister’s costume, is her belief having been well in the ears that I was sick or struggled and so are her losses, and her being there for my Dad close to my Dad, so if her outfit was who you considered is at fault for my Dad dying, then you are punishing me for being sued, or ever having been suicidal and making everything about sexuality and forgetting the 38 years I lived life over wrongfully viewing me as “obnoxious” or stupid, its not me defending myself when suicidal or complaining so loud making anything a big deal that is considered by fault or the detectives name in Texas mean that a school shooting is my fault its about how things look and not caring if Im hurt is the truth that instead of life being about who I am and who Ive not harmed, it becomes about subjecting me to harm and accusing me of subjecting my Father to harm or shock, because of going to treatment and forced to take photos, so why was blogging stopped, doesn’t matter when or why, or what was wrong about blogging, its about after being hurt, it no longer was special all the positive growth and improvement in spite of disability and not able to work or get a job or inspiring when I got a job or my Dad being nice to me, it became about my Mom’s comment and treating me as though I was taking trashy photos or wrongfully accuse my mental health or sexuality as being exposed or practiced in a home with family, after being sued, and the making fun of how I looked or writing from LAX Courthouse, so this is how no one cares, its not about who is protected and whos not, its about whats said and believed and so maybe whats not a big deal is who hurt me and how that disappointed humiliated me and my family, and maybe my concern and private battle asking for help was funny, and maybe the police or name in Texas matching my detectives name telling me not to email, is about treating me as knowing what to do when no one can help me, and secondly treating me as someone who keeps going or says the wrong things or provocative cant be helped or refusal to help me, is the lesson, not what starts and cannot be stopped or how hurt whats too much or permanent about me, it become less about me, where instead or viewing my recovery as helpful to all, instead its been sought to reinforce any system calling me out or mistreat me as someone who shifts subjects dramatic and then takes a med and suddenly the issue or problem is over, or if not stated then not true at this point I cant keep track anymore, Iv been honest, Ive done my best, accept voices are “real” and I cant prevent bullying, accept the fun in confirming or pretending like you convinced my Mom Im a “Pervert” or the apartment complex housing me “one story apartment across from the pool” pleasing the public or speaking to a truth about me forced to accept to represent voices in a positive way, or accuse me at home, as a location for peace joke accuse me of not being able to achieve a bettered state at home make fun of visiting OCDA. Its clear for every solution, nothing has worked and nothing is believed, so to continue to be around anyone, not call anyone, and have no system for getting well or preventing my own suicide, is the shocking truth of “schizophrenia” voices, not whats true or not true or how stupid I am its how hard I worked to get well and prevent voices, and for none of that to matter and for the constant repercussion to be blaming me and treating me as responsible faced with a threat whether made true or not true, mistreat me as not taking seriously court or an attorney and acting like I know whats true or whats going to happen to me treat me as a future nightmare or accuse me of being sheltered or because Im made to be scared or jail being scary and painful accuse me not being compliant or making a big deal or a less serious reality “jail” to accuse a “more grave reality” is occurring because Im not in jail or hospital or not liked or accuse all media of making fun of me, wrongfully accuse me of feeling good when others are make fun of my only interactions with who I love, doesn’t make me any stronger or able to go any further in life than anyone else upset, lets make clear that upsets are my fault and hurt me the word shouted “pervert” is an upset that stops me, and being stopped “is a frustration” that Im tested for “and reaction is what Im punished for” and traveling is the joke so is dating or hooking up and then calling me something Im not who is going to die whether a mistake or not is not whats unforgivebale or me dying that doesn’t make life real or a what people think test of what kills me or what I live by the lesson in life not surviving or dying the lesson of my Fathers value, I think the people close to you who hurt you is what “voices” are not family, or who I know or what dating is, and what is considerate strong “is who is at peace and proud and doesn’t get in trouble and unbothered” and what cant be fixed or helped is when I get sick “and hospital or messaging cant solve the unhappiness of “voices” which is trying to say that Im being hurt permanently and have no future and cant work or date or be loved because what cant be overcome is “who Ive hurt and accuse me of having voices accuse voices of existing or a textbook defined condition of anyone known passed who you are responsible for or should be haunted by as though hearing people who don’t like you is something you don’t take responsibility for or treating you like people who care who are mad at you is a family you don’t have or care about accusing you of being trash or someone who should not live home until jail becomes a reality of thriving people types or what Ive done wrong accuse me of having voices (using the science of my life and what I experience or go through( accuse me proving or justifying voices as away to treat me like Im bother or haunted by people upset or angry you are accsuiong me of playing victim to who I am automatically responsible for or am close to me on levels not determined by photo or story shared heartwarming or later painful or untrue about making me appear dramatic about a non serious issue or problem looking at my life thinking its easy to be where I am right now or look like way, and think teaching me what life is like going or too late is the lesson of whats true or whos protected or whats a fighting head puniching car accident suicide joke (2009) if its my story that’s a joke and if what happens to me in life is a joke about whats true, the lesson is not in what way have I been punished, is about capitalizing on voices (zero prevention tech support or government support) and trying to convince to the world Im someone called “P” and that’s my fault, and accuse me of being attacked by young people or people I am explaining things to who are hurting me or doing well better than me, as a way to prosecute me for who I am or am not belong whats true or what means guilt, and Im sure that hurt doesn’t mean guilt or what anyone has said is wrong or giving up on voices, mean Im fighting or publicizing bulyihng being dramatic, its about forgetting who I was for 38 years because yolu couldn’t get over all the moments I was disabled, so you did not entitle me to live life recovered is the lesson on when and why is what your fault, “being in need” and the definition of “schizophrenia” to make last words on “tumblr” as whats too sick or too late and whos going to die mean what about my views on life and feminity or being cool and look good or admiration, its more about hurting me to not make people feel bad again because treated like Im going for reaction or reality make special people who are already special and accusing me of pains in life Im not also capable represent and misunderstanding what strength is about, not about who is hurt instead of people, its about being hurt and not making a big deal was what was true, and what they think is punishment is who is well and safe recovered and the fascination is about being worse of and getting sick and for my life to be a joke about handling things that are deadly and complicated and accuse me of being young or a robot, or misunderstood as not having learned what being wrong looks like or what hurt is, in the end what is wrong with me and what others think Ive done wrong is ultimately the lesson, that whether I live or die, shouldn’t matter about what representation is true of a detective LAPD in another state, is treating me as though I leave things up not caring who lives or dies and wrongfully accuse me of shaming my father or making him vulnerable and not seeing humor in my old house as being “yellow” and making fun of my suicide 2009 or what was said, in the end doest matter what was asked and what was said, voices killed me anyways because they don’t care what Ive done right all they care about is proving me wrong and hurting me and making fun of me as someone who has attachments or a fake soldier, and wrongfully punish me like I have anything not provided, is the lesson not on how people are made strong by beating me up, or what Im able to say or how Ive helped, in the end sometimes whos strong is who you are wrongfully accused of hurting in life, and sometimes that’s the joke things misunderstood as though you should be suicidal or dying and not hurt, to make fun of when you were well what it was like, and accuse you of having voices like it’s a secret world elsewhere wrongfully accuse you of exposing people who love you to any other life fighting, so it not me who set anyone at odds careless or any phones calls unwanted, its about who I am with no one, no love, not talking to anyone, and hurt, and whats too late I punching my head, and whats not respected hospitalization and who shouldn’t be shot, who I love and why am I being blamed for shooting after speaking, because you are blaming me for having a job and a gas station shooting, a rapper shot, a fake Balmain job and check submitted rejected, going to the ER and sent home, so whats not believed is that I was ever well, so what does being sick prove or permanently damages, means I couldn’t prevent voices and punched my head “why is my head small” because the wrongfully made a big deal about being shouted at defended him and attacked me called me “P” so so long as that’s youre reality, its not me who gave up a suicide or code joke, it’s the unhappiness of voices, and being some place worse in life and not successful or failing, since when should matter to voices, if its my story life I returned to, voices aren’t people Ive hurt, people I know, aren’t any govt or team or support network or soldier safe to talk to confide in or go by, its hurt, its challenge, and its me not making a big deal of things catastrophizing things to mean everyone or no one likes me, its not my life I gave up on, its about being people right and me being wrong, and sometimes the only way that people feel strong and feel right and don’t care is when they feel safe, when Im dying or wrong, so that they aren’t misunderstood to be helping someone guilty, or did the right thing to punish me accuse me of hurting so many people that the best medical decision was take my brain away and ability to function, and since that was a joke and my Instagram so was my new Instagram and improvement and in the end whats true about me too late “voices” “giving up cannot be stopped” punching my head humiliating me in a nice neighborhood or in front of others, after hospital, to see what pattern of reaction? I think staying home for a year, no traveling, work from home, rest take it easy is the best plan to just stay alive, I cant prevent what already happened, and if the lesson is I cant “overcome voices” then the excuse must be I cant prevent a bigger issue or respond to losses or things being my fault to accuse me of being suicidal to a issue true or made true gay or not provable to not, punish me based on whats hurtful and blame me for bigger issues, use my interactions as a representation lesson, accuse me of not being capable of wwearing orange or membership and act like Im rolling on a feeling not reliable or a game my fault, so long as you are convinced I am something Im not, then there is nothing I can do, you can go to court you can prosecute me, you can sue me I don’t have to give permissions change or die to make that a reality I can simply explain life as it is and stop talking to everyone, so please don’t accuse me of making a 10 year dramatization of what life is like with disability or accuse me of leaving my life for a a worse life. If you want to put me in jail that’s your choice, if I cant overcome voices that’s my defcit, so in the end whates about who helping who inaprpropriate its whatever you think is true will govern what you think is deserved and whatever you think life should be to make things go right will be by your senses and who you are among to know what is going to work, and what will never be the truth or explain who I am in a nutshell is insensitive or sexual or exposes self a homeless jail joke, maybe my suffering is how you remember what dying is like and disappointment how badly I was hurt, and maybe how you choose to remember my Dad by killing me doesn’t mean you are entitled to kill me on behalf of my Dad or accuse me having positive interaction with anyone Ive harmed, mistake my wellness as performance, sometimes what happens to a human being when not believed is just that, the opposite of a photo, why Im never taking photos again, since you couldn’t believe who I was, I refuse to die punished made fun of for voices self harm and suicide, voices don’t care if I die, they goal is to treat me as wrong and by accident kill me and think life is joke about whatv I take the wrong way or dying by who they are convinced is a past of whos been hurt act like Im not hurt being alone, or exposing my friends to hurt a fear expressed, instead you kept causing me suicide, and think everything a yellow joke!