OCDA appearance in-person (Day 15) #writing

Why? Bc I’m speaking improperly bipolar instead of saying things in the clear responding to fights is not how to end a fight creates indifference so a positive attitude ok with what is versus seems combative that’s how you get mistreated as though should be treated with expectation of “schizophrenia” they think mentally ill attacks non sensical disorganized waste of time not real I think what’s real are experiences and feelings need not be justified by full disclosure I think once stated twitter felt sick isn’t going to help now.

I’m sure we all have weird or wild nights, sorry to share I don’t mean to sound vulgar and if I’m hurting can respond to who’s mad at me. Clarify and try to be cordial I can’t afford court police that’s too much risk to my health and he apologized and I’m not mad at him. Comments hurt my feelings but that’s him being smart.

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When you finally settle down on whats important, after feeling “stupid feelings” and “sounding stupid,” what are you proving about yourself, mental illness? Unhappiness? Who are you making look better? Sometimes to not fight we give up, and sometimes to fight is painful, and sometimes to not speak is painful, if youre not trying to fight, and when there is a problem stopping a fight with someone who expects forgiveness, and mistakes lack of forgiveness personally taken, they don’t recognize that you are not the same person you were before, when you were controlled, and how controlled should a person be to be trusted, I think past the point of broken many points have been made, not of which need to adhere to a list of things to prove in order to put someone out for good, was my point of under duress, under threat, when my future is ahead of me, that doesn’t mean Im going to seize opportunities such as children and marriage because Im able and survived a weird circumstance mentally, and while on break from dating, I will always be the same loving person, losing people doesn’t mean stop, its when the hurt hits you or others, that’s a good time to back off, the healing will occur upon the clarity derived from letting go whats bothering you and not blame others psychology or internal dilemmas as not compensating or a refusal to compensate your feelings, what can be fixed is patience, and time to heal and recover its not all about you, and if its not a life or death issue but a punishment, for how long is too long 2 years, when the first incident was not my fault the loss of Justice Ginsberg, and the fingers were not insult it was forewarning to focus rather on the your relationships internally rather than seek to perfect and outside circumstances more lethal or threatening, destructive, imitation is a form of blame that offenders do to cause a distress to who they are expecting reaction from and its by description of offenders that upon reading or looking at a person you seek to make happen much like a director has something in mind leading others, why porn is frowned upon when it comes to prevention, perhaps using our smart minds is a quicker path to clear than a sexual love can provide, that becomes a very selfish turmoil of a feeling within that you blame others as causing, as though a person was giving you a feeling they took away, no you created that feeling in yourself, and why create a better feeling in hate or destruction, as though a confidence lost in a person to win an argument was more worthy or discussion untrue to make someone wrong feel righted, that is a risk that is unnecessary why fighting occurs personal in small claims, or through police, that’s not a threat out in the open disrespect is a threat to the safety of the person you seek to connect to bad people, and that’s how my head body gets weaker, this is why they hurt women, to cause disassociation to claim made strong or weak by. That’s a mans body that you comparing as a womans capability to cause harm, to make an OJ argument, of a woman you are trying to argue deserved to be treated that way by conduct, that’s not why we talk about women who are not here, understand that although you view their pain as pitiful and want others to respect that you are a survivor, we get no stronger blaming the living on who has passed and forget to live up to ideals, let police handle connection and blame and hurt, and if you can keep it to yourself all the more better, most feelings and breakups can be healed overtime and by just moving forward “date someone else,” which is how this person healed and I got a job, no need to suggest fault on my parents side raising me or their discipline with friendships theyre pretty solid people, and work, conservative. So please don’t call my Mom and molest my Mom and make me look stupid controlled or sexually, I can still date anyways even if you call me pervert and my head is misshaped on Invega, or when hot, you pretend to be Todd and F me and get a photo of my vagina. You win Texas, its really not about states, its more about worth hurting and why? Entitles you? It hurts me to be doing well then to get sick, I never discredited you I sent a model photo in Christmas shorts to a modeling company, before I saw your picture, that’s God watching. Picked the right shorts.