Maybe it’s better not to push myself prove that I’m well accept diagnosis I’m sure that doesn’t make sense meds work or not working I promise you my body and mind is not capable or feeling well magically with power by connection type of people or job or outfit I’m sure that was confusing like I pretend to be disabled the meds cause you to not feel good so I accept my place I don’t need to improve shine to inspire I just need to not talk to people who others are hurting me over and can accept that if I’m not we no one can help me and that’s upsetting too so everyone is okay and doing well this is serious because things improved but not if I sound weird or talk to myself or get upset and short minded and complain that makes look stupid or upset insulted that let’s voices win to make me seem like someone who pretends to have clarity or be mistreated like I’m vulgar I’m not that free with myself I hand respect for good photos that’s a state you achieve being well not by meds running sex or love mentally that’s my progress so today because I animated I then did not feel good because I took it to scotus because so much went wrong that it’s important to let them know of my condition to figure out how badly that hurt others for me to appear as criminal or grose or poor example of a human being and whether that gives permission for others to be angry with me or treat me like I don’t care I think I have disability and not well enough for work or marriage and that’s a very high up position in life posture wise to work in law a far cry from working in an office that you cannot fake your health so it’s not about moving along and being rejected I get I will not get jobs if I get sick so it’s every interview then pressure voices then sick by the next interview so if I’m being punished like I carry undisclosed conditions it’s not fair for me to be treated like I expose others to things I pretend I’m okay I disclose everything. I’m upset I got pulled over after my second interview and need to go to court tomorrow in Beverly Hills because I was made to go back to work not 100% yet and was not well by the zoom interview drained lost animation pulled over after the first interview on my way home, making a right on a red light.

Talking to scotus is to figure out who was offended by the photos on the godaddy sight and how am I responsible for anyone who saw losing respect for me or actually believing I’m criminal or pervert or steal my identity know where I live my social security number what have I done so bad that that felt good righted to say I’m not worth knowing or of value didn’t 8 million people visit the website you made of photos of me and made up information labeling me offender in what way does my condition of not being well have anything to do with you’re health in what way is my condition show a defect in me that has anything to do with sex or create idea that something street did that to me like didn’t like me or known to not being liked … I didn’t know that if someone likes you or doesn’t want to talk that they will get mad at you if you need to be alone why all of a sudden angry at me if I need to be alone I’m nowhere I am focused on me. I’m not doing anything I can’t move why do I get shouted at when I’m frozen not moving? Right now is serious because if I don’t improve my condition then it’s a sad or disappointing story if anything is my fault scotus can determine how much went wrong for me and how that’s related so that these issues can be fixed, or if I’m a person where improvement is not deserved seems like a fake movie pretending but is ugly or dirty minded then we can make clear I’m not for women and I’m not for men and this is not a self love example or a joke about peoples sexuality made to describe how their body works I think when you are being punished then you’re not sexy and you should not get attention if you are good talk to people if you are not good then be alone so this is what I have to decide for myself so that my life does not get worse where my life can’t be normal and it’s a nightmare of resentment to treat me like I knowingly F up in life or did something wrong and should be looked at like I’m stupid or who was feeling good and innocent people were hurt and that I’m hiding I call the police I don’t need anyone to call the police on me, I get that I’m the type of person you will not know what’s wrong with them not because if head injury only happened a few times I don’t know what caused voices I don’t do drugs I don’t fight I don’t use people wrong people or pretend to be well or move fast you actually can’t keep going in life if people think you’re a waste of time. So that’s what’s the problem no help no doctors call my attorney go to court tomorrow. That you can’t fix when people hate you think you get away with things or think you’re smart or is dumb not a good role model or fake sweet or feminine … I think voices really affected me in life I think it’s when people think you offended others you get treated as a bad seed I would not pretend to not be scary if you are scary you cannot date if I was intense not at ease no one can talk to you if you have problems you become uncomfortable element so …. Obviously can’t win with anyone who thinks I’m hurtful and obviously don’t deserve love if I’m not well. Now I need to figure out who is hurt and why I feel hurt if I cannot blog and why blogging normal was seems fake and tested to see what’s inside me or secret or comes out upon upset for self harm I think that’s unwanted attention self harm scared peoples away it doesn’t make you attractive or victim it makes you look grose mentally ill … I accept who is done with me in life that’s okay I cannot prove myself to anyone who thinks I think I’m going anywhere high up I just want to blog and do activities I’m not trying to make money it’s the act of doing things each day like blogging helps and nothing needs to be intense that’s hurt and nothing needs to be crime savy or keep reading that’s hurt you cannot fix if something goes wrong no writing can be said to settle a feeling that is not helped by you thinks you shared for no reason or thinks your sharing is mentally ill I’m sorry that my blog became popular that’s really not a powerful position it’s not going to make money if you don’t stay well so I don’t study business but it’s clear to have a future when what you are doing you have to feel good about it therefore why do anything wrong you don’t get anywhere in life doing anything wrong I’m not someone who has secrets or explosive story information I made it this far in life he way I was how I write not collect data on others …. My privacy is all me now studies no research no experiments no gender issues or gay issues it’s upon getting voices that you are told you are not accepted but cannot prove and voices are for reaction to see what you look like upset or in pain your face body you will say things wrong when it’s not your issue when it becomes your issue you will misrepresent those who have found pride in their identities it’s once you think you are not identified as to be helped that’s a clear sign that if you get sick you get treated as offender or unwanted, I never meant to be helped by people who then are better off without me it’s clear I’m to a different standard and it would hurt to think that when I was well future ahead of me and after all I’ve been through that I was given a chance to live life work try again didn’t last long but was a good experience I thought Todd deserved to represent whatever was important about my story identity more than me because he really cares for the people and I’m at a mental state where I get voices so that I behave talk weird talk to myself insulted and people try to help after they tell me they can’t help me so now it’s about no’s rejection helped and reactions which I’m sure is about my response. #willtryagainuntilim50 #stopsuicide

And the job with the exact locations of where Todd’s career path is headed, is not something I registered as real or to make fun of me as stalker like I’m a crazy homeless person with poor social graces low class that thinks a law firm name is making fun of me it’s my story it was nice of me to share and that doesn’t memorialize the significance of me still being alive in spite of everyone thinking less of me like I’m trash I don’t look at people that way, so please don’t own my story to calm me lazy like I was hurt insults by that and please don’t make fun of me like I’m supposed to know what to say it’s upon study of the cases on parole I said something his daughter disclosed to me why make a big deal if that no that’s not all it took I’m sued a lot of good things were seen I’m sure my face was not ugly the day I appeared and I’m sure something happened to my face 2 weeks later to visit again. So why make fun of me texting Larry Flynt you don’t know my body my story my writing a lot if things are nuanced like blogging must be appropriate proper if improper untrue then that’s how you get sued. Seems like any new beginning doesn’t happen because I get voices and I’m okay with being alone in life is that’s the game plan almost have a life then put down like I don’t deserve a life maybe my life is being hurt because they don’t think I know what it feels like to be shot down or rejected humiliated look bad so that’s how I am punished it’s a good experience then voices then I sound negative and it’s either body image face or sex issues and that’s to make me appear unfit to work with nice people and that’s how I look bad I get voices I sound well I sound stupid and that’s how you get treated when they think your talking is about others not it’s about me do it’s feels good about me, then I get sick, then obviously siting will not get job because they will not have a good feeling about me. I understand people can tell if you are not well I know that so why convince me I’m sick cut all connections remove things keeping me well writing to confront who thinks I’m mentally ill or wasted Todd’s time, clearly I thought he was special and has the right ideas and was a beloved character now and future for sticking around good bad days but once you are told not to talk to people means look at your self figure it out or don’t talk to people ask for help if their issue is you appearing well has opportunity then looks unwell disappointing and loses opportunity I’m in no rush to be suddenly well and I get how you speak affects your status in life so that even if you spoke well not believed because they think you talked like the character of schizophrenia who is called names and when can explain that I’m not trying to be humorous that’s me hurt and being treated as offensive. #selfharm