Being me, mental health issues, are ways in which your power is taken away in life, and when you are put places you don’t want to be, and medicated is disorganizing, you get punished, you get bossed, its an unpleasant experience, it’s a place you don’t want to be in life, and have to be there, and its not a place you ever get comfortable being in in life, losing all your power, and treated as mentally ill. Having mental health issues, means that’s you get judged for the rest of your life as harm to self, and worse assumed that its okay to treat you like youre of harm to others, that’s the ultimate loss of power, when anyone takes you to the hospital to declare you mentally ill, and maybe that solves the problem for others. Its not a place in life Id ever wish for anyone to be in, bullied, shouted at, dumped, ignored, suffering, or left in any pains in life, and that’s how life is when you cant help yourself, and no one can explain to you why you don’t feel good. People will call it alcohol, or addiction, or dating, or talking online, or how you speak, or what you look like, or where you’ve been, you’ll never understand what you look like to others, until you start caring what you look like, and that will make all the difference.

You don’t have to share correctly or be in the right spirit or level of success to matter in a room full of people, who don’t want to deal with your problems in life or don’t respect you, so that being treated like you don’t belong, and that’s how people in the future get to know you and then dump you as a patient, and tell you to go to the hospital its when they get what they want, or don’t get what they want to hear, and then in defense treat you like youre mentally ill, or heading somewhere worse in life, those are people who don’t respect you and don’t believe in you and reading into your past experiences in life as though you knowingly carry along in life, disruptive or standing out in a bad way.

I don’t think I ever intended to be ugly faced, arrested, or mentally ill and hospitalize, or beat up or bullied, and I will never know what that type of anger is about, that’s why Im online to make a life of myself and have social proof and public proof of being well liked, before I try to acclimate Im injured to blame me for causing any losses to who knows me or to who is connected to me. Im not lost, Im not derilic, Im not pervert, Im not loud or obnoxious, Im soft spoken, Im sensitive, Im animated, Im loving, I have a good sense of humor, I keep my problems to myself, Im not disruptive, I don’t go back out, I don’t use, I don’t do drugs, and Im not mentally ill or deficient in a way that my learning disability is not true, or don’t truly have learning disability, weight management issues, and difficulty getting a job.

What is weight loss and selfies for, its for keeping track of my face, and whos impression is on my face and why, and who is trying to hold my heart and connect and break it, to see what spirit is inside of me, to see what makes up my face, my heart, my blood, or the heart and mind of another on me, this is to prove who I am on the inside, that I love myself. Im a good person, Im caring, Im careful, I work hard, so no one has to break me to be me, or hurt me to feel good, or downplay me minimize me to play me as though I ever played anyone in my entire life.

Im like every other women waiting to be loved and working on herself, and when I have the time and energy to invest in loving another person, that happens for me, right now, because of what was done to me, people trying to punish me for losses, my heart was broken, my head was ripped off my body (rejection: is to make your forehead feel dumb so you get confused and cant concentrate) (rejected as a patient in a job earning a wage as a paralegal most people dont notice what is mentally ill or wrong about me but for some reason by medical analysis there is a false belief that there is some person who is not right minded non-existent and thats how you get discriminated in life, made to believe that you are sick or disabled and mentally ill and going to live a short life in a permanent condition: schizophrenia (or what doctors like to think is everyone feeling good except for you and treating you as though you get sick in the face of wellness, thats being known, no one explains that to you, until you look good too and learn). Your told to go to the hospital (I went to the ER and based on my condition was only there for a night and allowed to go home), and rejected from job interviews, and that’s how life becomes as though youre unimportant or treat you as a bad reaction to important.

Its actually the other way around, I am important, and people who have bad reactions to me are cold to me, and ignore me, and that’s me being loving, I stay put and Im monogamous, and instead Im made to connect like Im the body to keep the other body steady and then get attacked like Im the holder of the body of another, not given to another, and treated as though Im an empty soul or replaced by other souls, to mistreat me and my heart as not existing, and that’s how you get played as an offender in life, you get alienated and isolated, and things get taken from you, you get upset, to see what you look like when you have less and they try to beat you and bully you as though you didn’t give love to a person, and hurt you scare you to see what you look like trying to make you fat and ugly, as a way to tell you that youre a reject.