Right now my goals are to write, work on book writing if I have the time, build and manage my blog grow my audience on cloudflare to 1 Million and it should take approximately 50 days, if I improve my website by 10,000 views/day, so in about two months if I stay focused by the end of September or October. Is my current writing goal, and make sure that my content falls in line with adding followers, not losing followers, and continue to write original works online, and make sure that my book writing, is a separate original work, different than my blog posts, which will take time and effort to come up with content for both, distribute for free online, and try to distribute for payment for my work to be read, that will be a new challenge, selling books, which is a great second career choice to doing paralegal work. I recently worked paid as a paralegal for a couple months, but had to stop working to focus on treatment options and improvement. I have the discipline and ability to work part-time to full-time as a paralegal, if Im given meds, and was able to get by working off adderrall and Vyvanse which was a huge accomplishment for me. Based on the stress of managing bullying, voices, lawsuit, politics, death and dying, maintain my status online and be open in the public helpful, I need to make sure that I don’t lose time, not get sick, not have bad interactions with anyone, voices or in real life, and continue to do my best to improve, and stay out of trouble. To me staying out of trouble, means relying less on others, staying focused on myself, taking on more responsibilities, and I believe that I will be able to figure out what to do when the time comes to make things better, you can’t always prepare for tragedy or losses, and like everyone, you do your best moving forward, helping others to cope, and making sure you say things helpful to those groups and populations suffering from losses, at the moment, including my own family, and friends.

Therefore I am going to stop applying for paralegal jobs, maybe wait until next year. I am dealing with so much stress right now, writing and cleaning up my reputation and dealing with sensitive issues, not to mention being Jewish, and an ongoing war, not forget my stats and earning a worldwide audience, continue to believe in myself. I think the “beliefs” and “humor” is something I simply don’t have time to focus on or read into right now, which is why I have not only blocked someone, but choosing to discontinue connecting personally for the time being, since it’s only causing more harm than good, to state my grievances, or sound like Im losing or frustrated with my life, unlike how successful and accomplished I am as a blogger and as a human being, loved and supported by many. It would be a shame, to get sick based on whats true not true let anyone F with my head, about my stats, or identity or who I am, or what socialization and fame is being based on or humors or inspirations at the moment, not forget that I am apart of that current support system and that to be of value and support others, I have to be fit, smart, balanced and successful myself. Blogging is what Im good at, its what I believe in, Ive tried working life is too stressful and complicated to focus on a job and risk not helping or succeeding in life being able to do everything, with blogging I feel like I can do everything, in a job, Im limited to just focusing on that project, and don’t want all my progress hopes and dreams as a blogger to be forgotten taking on a paid position, as a writer. I know my worth, and blogging or book writing is no short cut, is equally as time consuming and difficult and there is much more competition as a writer, than there is being a paralegal, and willing to set my standards high and do my best to accomplish the task of being a writer online, where I thrive. It’s hard for me to hear people’s responses to blogging, as though I can do better, or see it as a waste of time, or compare my social media or others mental health, as though writing or being myself is causing me to get sick, I don’t think its that, I think its in close quarters, Im being hurt, by someone who is reading my blog and experimenting on me, accusing me of lying, and needs to damage me and make me sick and have evidence of me not sounding well, to feel like he has won, and I don’t have time for that kind of manipulation in life, is why I need to be alone and focus on my blog, my own skills, beliefs, and do what I think is right, and not take chances with my freedoms, or get caught up in stuff weighing me down, worsening my heart condition, stressing me out, making me sick to talk about or deal with in public. I just want to move forward, not be bothered, and help others.