Last year was the first time I attended treatment outside of a hospital setting, and it was a great experience. I made friends, I got to socialize, I went to groups, and the best part of treatment was all the meditation and sound bath, was the best. That’s really up my alley in terms of what I need. So what do we mean when we say “set yourself free.” It means don’t be hard on yourself, be good to others, ask questions, don’t try to do everything by yourself, recover, take your time, be honest. So much about having problems, that we may keep to ourselves, like mental health, is being able to come forward about how you are feeling, or even not be afraid of disclosing those delusions, that for so long kept you pinned down in life, and feeling out of it, or different than others. Don’t be ashamed, don’t be at all, look at me, I share everything, and so many people have decided to pick up my blog and read it over the years, so don’t be afraid, the right time will come when you will be in a place when you will hopefully feel okay sharing, but in the immediate you don’t have to. This is a rule in AA meetings, if you are new you don’t have to share and they recommend listening.
So set yourself free. Look at me, sued, had to leave my paid job as a paralegal, one relationship failing after the other, you know what that means, the timing isn’t right. So hence all the more focus on being strong, and proving to myself and others that I am ready for those things in life.
Part of a good recovery plan involves you to be supported by others. It’s hard to overcome addiction, or setback with everyone being hard on you, trust me I know what that feels like, but things get better, and you get better. So trust the process. It’s up to you to want to improve, it’s up to you to want to love again, it’s up to you to want to apply again, you can’t just give up, you were meant for more in life, even if things fall to shambles. How many suicide stories have we heard about people falling ill at the way tops in life. For example, to co-founder of Fandango just committed suicide [1], and my cousin used to date a Founder of Fandango, I think I even met him, he may have come to my house.
When I wasn’t feeling well living alone in Santa Monica, my cousin came knocking on my side door to check on me, she always believed in me. Always supportive. She even moved into my house on Harvard Street after I moved out and was hospitalized (2017) the incident that I hit my head after being sued, and heard voices for the first time. She used to manage TOD’S on Rodeo.
So be brave, be brave for those who didn’t make it [2], be brave for those who don’t have the resources and level of support to get through those rough patches in life. It’s up to you, don’t give up.
Reference:
[2] #stopsuicide https://www.988california.org/
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