Today is day one to figure out what went wrong or what was said, reflect on my own health peace personal status, reflect on all conversations private and be careful of interrupting anyones progress. It’s unfortunate to do so well in life, be packed with so many secrets, and just burst at the seams, and try to normalize people hating me accusing me of being offensive or hurtful, and thinking that that’s a tolerable way to treat a woman or human being. Maybe it’s unclear how an offender is made, and maybe those are the types of offenses of concern “sexuality and perversion” and I can assure you that I will never date, befriend, or talk to another human being for the rest of my life, and reconsider why Im alive or what spurs that type of fight anger hatred disgust or accusation in life, and consider myself as someone no one needs to fight for, and also not someone who is pretending to be sick with a proper and successful blog, be ruined based on any loss or crime, decide to blame or punish me or be critical of medical care doctors words or compare or be offended by what words are found in common to how you view my life, apartment, or progress, if I can’t win and that’s what bullying means, then I have a completely different life carved out for me in life, and maybe it’s me who works hard, and a smart way to make me feel stupid, is to be empowered by things Ive said critical of me, or not care if someone buys two websites and threatens to make a fan site, and demoralize me or justify him doing so based on any content or stage of wellness in life. Sometimes you can’t win. Instead of being alived and watched and dislike everything I say, not take seriously anything Ive said, be insulted by any changes in my composure content or well being in life, let’s stop viewing life as something that catches up to, some kind of disability or harm that means something is your fault, and not take advantage of my life, or for anyone to decide like they’re hurting me on behalf of others, whoever is in charge of making executive decisions as to how people see me is not in my control, all I have to do is do my best. I;m sorry I mentioned something shared in a meeting, clearly no one can identify me as belonging anywhere, clearly I don’t belong on any teams, its un clear whether Im respected or not, no one believes anything Ive said or done or believe how help os assistance was provided and me of all people is not insensitive to death, drug overdose, alcoholism or struggle, maybe it’s just me who is rejected not accepted given a hard time, not trusted judged for a like, and it being unclear I will never be well enough to date, so Im making the decision to never love again, whether it’s because of voices, something true, something existing in real life, life is a reflection of what everyone else thinks and find meaning in, Im not taking away from the value and attention given to others. I don’t think anyone wants me to misspeak or say something wrong, or be punished, or get fat, or my face to unrecognizable, I think you earn privileges in life, and there are so many ways to not be trusted punished taken advantage of look stupid sound stupid and in the end no one really intended to insult anyone or be offensive who is doing their best, and the preference for putting me down so far in life, ir beyond my comprehension of what for, if you think I have betrayed anyone, or done something so wrong, or illegal, then please ask the Judge what to punish me for, instead of taking upon yourselves, to destroy me and say things others remember and affect what happens to me in life, Im not out here to fight, it will never be a good time to mingle, I have a lot of work ahead of me, it’s too late to be social or date, and I just need to focus on myself I can comprehend all my losses, and I can comprehend pain and suffering, and I don’t deserve to be punished and called an addict or medication abuser, I was just seen by a UCLA Psychiatrist who told me double dose on day of getting new meds is not enough to be sent to rehab for addiction. And disclosed the only times I overdosed too too many adderrall or Vyvanse it was to hurt myself taking the whole bottle.