To know with certainty that you are doing well, and will continue to do well, will always go by the system of priorities given to you as a person who is being helped, and it will never stop being your responsibility to listen and stay well. In the end to be in good health and to not be punished or mistreated as though you have ever lived a life or done anything which you do not recognize is wrong with you or a cause for mental illness, never discontinue making it your job to determine how you are doing, or whether you need a higher level of care. No matter what the diagnosis is or meds, there is one thing I have learned from instability, crying, drama, discomfort, sensitivity, complaining, being too vocal or not staying well, either you recognize and are able to fix yourself and stay on track in life or improve, or decide to take personally what others think of you, think that defiance or defense of self can’t solve anything, it can’t, mental health affects everyone.

As a person with a public announcement of changes to my diagnoses. I would never think anyone would interpret my mental health as affecting anyone, nor would you ever think that being helped, or sudden rejection is also not a serious and life threatening circumstance in life, to my understanding lawsuit takes years to overcome, get well, be able to work again, I would never think that life would be harder than court, and maybe that’s not something medical records can account for, something wrong with you important for others to know about, just make sure to not get lost in interpretation or take to personally when others are hard on you.

To me staying well is to not have problems with anyone, whats difficult and hard to comprehend that after having been through so much and improved, it still wasn’t a good enough showing of my recognition and newfound awareness as a human being to not need help, to not get diagnosed difficulties in life Im told I may not recover from or will be lifelong, and be careful here forward who I talk to, chose to like, or share information with. It’s up to me and improve and prove who I am, without being called offenses terms or be labeled as someone who causes harm to has been hurtful toward anyone period in life, that would make it next to impossible to move on and live life.

To inspire be considered apart of you have to be someone who works hard, tells the truth, is not judged for disability, and makes sure that no lawsuit is interpreted as something Ive knowingly done wrong in life, liked anyone, open up, or gotten sick, it’s a shame to be punished for mental health issues, not be responded to, ignored, rejected, endure difficulties in life you’ve survived and not asking for favors or support you don’t deserve, and not be treated as someone with a deceptive condition or level of intelligence that can take meds or not be given meds, as though me as a person cannot be trusted with thinking and writing or living life.

The problem with improvement is therefore, for people to be offended by being accepting of you and not hurting you or be threatened by you, or to be given a hard time and for that to be my fault.

To know with certainty that Im living a good life, work hard, deserve love support a job, and get to be around people and in a condition that allows me to be around others, means to not give up on making sure I stay well, do not disappoint, am trusted, don’t lose meds, stay stable, not embarrass myself, my privacy, or bother anyone helping me, make their job difficult or be someone who doesn’t deserve to be helped, or should be punished, or treated poorly based on any lawsuit, or medical history, is a shocking reality to face in life, how offended people are by at what points in life you have been rejected or suffered or been punished, and questioned like you don’t belong, or be accused of having done anything wrong or have ever been anyone who has ever failed to disclose something about them in life serious or life changing.

Sometimes people will not trust you or think that you are well or recovered in life, and can lose trust support and compassion in a way, there are many ways to decide for you major life decisions concerning your health, and sometimes we do our best, lose opportunities in life, get sick again, relapse, are rejected, look bad, and really it’s no one else’s fault but your own if you cannot prove you are recovered or not suffering from a mental health issue that is affecting anyone. To me the truth is shocking and hurtful and devastating and have broke down crying have done my best to move on and accept the reality that I cannot talk to anyone, have gotten in trouble for talking to someone I love, and have been judged as someone who is mentally ill and has been rejected. The truth is Im doing my best to be positive, I worked hard to be able to get a job, and for whatever reasons was judged as mentally ill or needs more treatment or hospitalization and that broke my heart, made me look bad, was shocking to disclose, and disappointing, and overall it taught me what it feels like to work hard be sober push yourself and be told that you are sick, be punished for talking to anyone, or be unaccepting of change.

It’s sad to be in a condition that people can be nice to you, supportive want to help you, and to do your best, or get sick again, and not be able to work, date, or live life, sometimes disability teaches you that you will never be good enough, and sometimes lawsuits teach you, to never talk to anyone for the rest of your life. It’s a hard lesson to learn to be observed and judged what you seem like confronted or told you are sick or need serious help or can’t make decisions for yourself is very disempowering and really makes me rethink why to try or why to open up or connect if Im going through something too serious for any setting, as though I take my own health for granted or anyone else’s for that matter. What’s sad is that everyone was so nice to me and supportive and I was lucky to find medical care, and have difficulty accepting that after all the years given shots on meds making the effort improving or given a hard time, or suffering from voices or self harm. Turn you from someone improving and doing well with a blog and able to get a job, to someone with irrecoverable issues or problems in life, that no one can help me with, am too late to be helped, and just have to accept.