Punishment to me in my brief experiences being punished, if you don’t include hospitalizations or mental health issues, is a difficult experience in life, and for the first time in your life, you are made to not be proud of yourself, and that scary jitteriness of being locked up and not able to contact anyone, lasts for an eternity, but you get through it, and feel lucky you are not like the others, who get put in jump suits, and sent to the general population and given a bed and a cell. I have never been that far back in jail before, only for a night, when I should have been taken to the hospital instead. I guess blogging is in avoidance of anyone becoming unhappy with me, misunderstand me, or think something is wrong with me, it’s a place that I can talk and not bother anyone, and also get to discuss life as I am, try to be the person I was before I was punished, and also not be made fun of the time it takes post punishment to be able to get a job or apply for jobs again. Like now, being in court, it’s mental health diversion, so it’s about humiliating me in public and punishing me for friending anyone or speaking in support of a person I am not allowed to talk to, and then for treatment that follows to criticize me as an unwanted communication or the type of person you tell to go away or not be bothered by, and that makes life really difficult to try again to be in other places in life. To me punishment the days are long, you feel like you’re dying, you can’t move, everyone is pushing you and unhappy with you, and busy coping and talking about you or whats so difficult about knowing me or taking care of me, not reflect on what punishment does to a person in life, it’s a depression you can’t escape from, it’s a down, that’s hard to come back from, and its not a fight or a race in time to be anywhere better in life, not at any age, would I now think that I would be given a chance compared to when I was younger and fit not by taking meds away and causing me obesity. In the end it’s my life to live, be in constant reflection of my life what I value in life, and not take chances personally, incurring risks, not receive any complaints, not be treated like Im not doing something Im supposed to do, suddenly shocked by my cloudflare analytics dropping, and wonder whats so difficult about speaking that’s because it’s not mental illness, and its not causing me problems, and its not why I have been sued, and I really owe it to myself to improve and to continue moving forward, and not get hurt by applying for jobs, or be hard on myself, for how Im made to look. I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me, I can take care of myself, and if no one wants to help me in life, and help give me money to take care of myself, I can take the Bar Exam, follow my dreams in life or move to another city like Washington DC, there is so much more to life to live.

Mental Health Diversion means I’m in court but I’m not being punished or prosecuted I’m under the Judge’s care who expects me to attend AA meetings, I’m allowed to blog says my Attorney (Prizzia). I had to submit all my medical records and go away for 7 months be in treatment and get a job to prove to the Judge that I’m okay and going to make it on my own. I was given vyvanse on a 5150 hold and at Ocean View psychiatric center despite any diagnosis trusted based on functioning attending all groups, doing activities, social.