After 7 months of treatment, and taken off adderrall, I am again battling relapse (alcohol), taken off adderrall for the week, and doing my best to discontinue drinking when things are “too much” and focus on the road ahead and my writing. In the meantime Im going through something personal with an individual who has taken it upon himself to post things about me online which I have no control over and I am doing my best to cope and figure out how to remove those pages and websites from allowing him to publish things without my permission or say things harmful to my health and reputation. I am also working through being in court, and staying well that’s all I have to do. I have cut back on talking to anyone period for the time being and focus on my health and therapy. I can still blog, but I think while on a break from adderrall really think about what I am writing, and in what ways am I made to feel scared, intimidated, high blood pressure, or judged in the negative, and in what ways is this “begging for mercy” condition expected of me running scared like that’s how I am going to be helped in life. Limited or optionless, as though I am the kind of person who should experience this type of helplessness in life, I don’t think I should, nor should anyone, be made to live in fear or be intimidated by what anyone has on them in life, I can do better than this. I don’t feel comfortable sharing my story on the basis that the times have become more dangerous and it doesn’t help me to share details about my life, that can be hurtful to me or my family.

I think moving forward everyone should work on keeping a good head on their shoulders no matter what they see online. Clearly this is a very difficult time for me, plus the insensitivity of this person, given my hards work and sobriety thus far improvement, and job placements, I don’t think that I deserve to be let go or put down in life in public or punished for any reason, is not fair to me. I am doing my best to help others, and to continue to find solution for problems and work through those deficits in private by email, and don’t think it’s really anyones business to harm me, or pry for answers to my own problems, then be made fun of for solutions for voices, I am doing my best.