I’m going to stop “working in public” instead of emails clearly that system worked better. I think everyone’s been through a lot feelings wise like I’m said is waiting for solution reassurance and if day to day help getting going doesn’t have the patience for what’s discussed in therapy or court emails such as differentiating between reality truth and delusion I think clarifications and an email to Fox News with the intent to not sacrifice what’s working the existence if any group project with or without my character in use in any shape or form can and will continue that’s not the cause of misinterpreting or going by leadership or hearing things wrong. I think I have a great outlook and positive attitude in life maybe no one understands what being alone is for or hesitant on defending shooters with use of a discussion on mental health being used to relate and normalize a lot of what’s everyone’s going through on meds or not. I never was insecure about my weight I am now making choices over how things look words types of doctors etc because it matters to me and very much differs from information I’ve been provided or shared in confidence means I’m someone who is helping not someone threatened by Ellen Degeneres or death or my identity what’s proper is to be a good person who does good work who supports others it’s a bad idea to try to beat me think I’m losing misinterpret facts from my life or understanding of memory fear and being scared or getting mad how that’s detrimental to beauty face composition and thinking capacity I don’t wish to shorten my breathe and output fighting anyone in life. I think the reasons I lose fights is in every way because I have disability that whoever expresses anger or accusations doesn’t look bad and at my expense suffer look bad whether that’s voices social skills anything etc. things will get better with sobriety I’m sorry if a writing break was misunderstood as sacrificing world peace sustained for more than a year it’s okay if I get tired need a break I’m aware of how to write I’m sad that in the event I’m not feeling well don’t sound proper or writing articles. Sad issues I’ve overcome been cognizant you or marched with pride later became about judging me as having reservations. I know to be in charge of me most people suffering or in need of help aren’t scolded told to stay away or threatened by a judge I think I’ve done my best if it’s not me who is remembered in the positive then maybe I shouldn’t date or talk about life anymore if it’s become a joke make fun of “blogging campaign” pitches or how my story is used or be critical of a disclosure to IMDb wonder too hard about the numbers or shows of support. I thought that was helping everyone to get proof of what’s working or being approving of conditions I’m in. It’s never too late I’m learning the hard way to be alone in life although no one accepted me saying “I never want to talk to anyone for the rest of my life” be hard on me when I just start therapy or get 30 days sober it will never be good enough for anyone insistent on blaming my conditions for their own and maybe that’s something court suggests happened or is occurring but never make fun of my beliefs or desire to get well be watched recorded document progress, and maybe nothing working out for me in life is the lesson or what court means or accept me saying “I never want to go to court again” re: court in OC not showing up or be allowed to not be present based on my disability not being recognized by another person in court was recognized by diagnosis and he was nice to him but not nice to me. In the end it’s not the job or treatment center meeting or boyfriend that tells anyone when to stop when to not hurt me when to protect me when to stop calling me out or bully me in life that’s not how life works judge hurting me convincing me I’m not well observing me telling me I’m not well when I am well and leave open if I get sick or not test whether it’s what’s said or how I feel that counts question what’s true about me or who’s opinion matters I think every time someone tells me to go to the hospital I don’t feel well until I visit the ER and that’s not my first lesson on connecting or what people feel or judge professionals everything is temporary judge most of life I can figure out on my own and don’t need to punished or threatened by anyone seeking to confirm disposition or guilt act on behalf of the people toward me like I’m missing something or I’m to blame it’s my life and my Facebook and my interaction and team to it’s for no one to tell me I’m not Sheri’s not loved not welcomed back from disability not supported hospitalized or need to get everything perfect to question my quotes. That took effort to share my faith in words and what helps me as a human being it’s not about ages it talking to whom where and why I think the total effect anyone is going for whether you injure me or not dear judge is a path in life of thinking or sense of satisfaction in life to be right or watch me or guess where I end up in life I’m not living life to tell others they’re wrong or think things that benefit end up worse off or judge me as not helping I think it’s serious being court or ordering “higher level of care” isn’t proper to tell me that I’m not focused on my mental health therefore I can write everyday for the next 2 years to ensure peace “group project functioning” I will try it study for the bar to prove what meds are for, but after 7 months of suffering over a heart exam take meds away that no psych ward took away was very painful and traumatic and not the solution to live life be up to speed with everyone else. How can you ask to see my medical records not know me tell me I’m sick or demand I go to more treatment be locked in a home for another month after getting a job, in the end it’s you don’t know what it feels like to respond to a lawsuit yourself hire an attorney last minute with no experience tried means as to my innocence and expectation that court goes well for me willing to speak in a place of clarity to explain my life purpose or the content of conversations approved or not reported or not reported. The lesson Judge in OC is there is no stoping point if everyone is helping eachother but no one is talking to me and you take meds away means you don’t know what schizophrenia is or self harm or voices you don’t trust my health o intelligence our life skills and you trashed a 4 year long messenger conversation and deleted all my modeling photos going ahead with threatening me if I’m not allowed to shout “slut” and hire a new attorney it’s not me who’s delusional or needs special attention or help period if these are ways you pretend people need help dealing with me then consider me done living life done with court done dating done being social. How can you punish me for getting upset in front of people who hurt me you know what you will never know my faith spirituality beliefs mental health experience you will never hear my story have access to my photos or emails or websites why because you don’t deserve the truth attacking me like you care while aiding and assuring others in ignoring and hurting me pushing me to extremes it’s not me who doesn’t try hard and also add I’m going to run a marathon because no one knows when to stop no ER visit no hate website no vagina photo no amount of voices misinterpret shouted at or road rage toward me in the end what happened Judge is you ruined my life you separated me from Todd you hurt me and expect me to be called terms then ridicule my analytics or job as not focused on my mental health you don’t value appreciate the meds I’m on you don’t view my mental health as cured you see it as disease “persecution” is a Jewish joke, you think I’m small or defensive or inhaling or overweight or should be something worse, you threaten jail and excommunicate me and create a public lawsuit that entitled everyone to hurt me or sue me or complain or see themselves as innocent and view me as guilty you didn’t even let me be myself and live life get to work have a life. 

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To:                US Supreme Court, and “Dear Judges”

From:           Leslie Fischman, Paralegal ¾ JD, MSL

Date:            09-30-24

Re:               Personal Update – Summary of Issues so far ….

Recently, I have been working through problems, finding solution on my own, without sacrificing any system that is already working such as emails. I do not think that working in public instead of emails, showed everyone how much I care, or clarified an email exposed in a different tone than my blog posts. To me when its besides the point means to focus on myself, worry less on previous introductions of who’s version of events has been memorialized, led by or misled by whom and why, I am assuming that the reasons why I should not be allowed to recover and do better is less about other people being upset, being forgiven, not taken seriously, not shocked by, disregard all my hard work in responding over the years to someone’s anger directed toward me, and by 39 am coming to realize a whole new concept of “responsibility” and why to be on my own stating in a frowned upon tone “Im never talking to anyone for the rest of my life.” It shouldn’t take 2 lawsuits to confirm why to not share my story or documents with anyone, and really think about who I am submitting work to when it comes to combatting voices, and finding solution. Maybe its not the team that can be decided, or credited, and maybe its not the person who Im losing to, the other considered winning, that it going to figure out my problems for me or voices, sometimes in sharing a take on life, it gets used against you in support of whom you did not mischaracterize or who you represented well in the positive. Im learning that by not talking about things, the first few times of discussion aren’t appreciated and continued discussion doesn’t solve the issue, in disagreement over what causes voices, this is a good reason to be alone, I never did not disclose its on IMDB schizophrenia voices and self-harm is something I was able to overcome and writing a book about. Right now I need to focus on what I am not, while also not prosecute in public and let people win or be sided with without being attacked by them or get sick, misused, in which my analysis is used to hurt me or further separate me, and not see me in a positive light. The lesson is to be on my own, and that no one can help me, to not reach out or visit people, to not let politics be affected by me. To not be punished based on what is going on in the news, be viewed as someone who is considered harassment or unwanted, all the more reason to be alone for the rest of my life. I think when my privacy is violated that means that I am being hurt, when I am being hurt that means others can be hurt, and that’s why I choose to be alone when I am hurt. I think a group project is not working out when someone is going against me in public and accusing me of being mean or shouting at people and not remembering, I think I faced one difficulty being threatened and told the attorney general is calling and that Im going to jail and that there is nothing that I can do about it, was not my idea of what hiring an attorney is for, for someone else to appear in court and for things to get worse handled by someone else, without telling me anything, was very upsetting. Its not that I think Im innocent, it’s that Im not guilty of the offense alleged, and simply being told to stay away is why I stayed away, I think any communications past that point, are not relevant as to what bothers me, or who need forgiveness, or who is mad at who or determine what is true or what the punishment is for, I never accused anyone of lying, and I never stood up for myself if I didn’t have faith in myself and know what I have done right or wrong in life. I think anyone in addition who is calling me a “disease” and sharing their story of meeting me, rejecting me, exposing me, and being blocked, and then talking to me again, is not about what I put him through, having improved, and been hurt by this person, but its about in what way is a lawsuit enabling people to meet me and then complain and then go public campaigning for themselves, just waiting for proof of writing that looks schizophrenic or angry to prove their point in calling me a disease. Isnt very nice. My story wont change this is my life, and even if Im not believed, I have to believe in myself in order for me to live life and to get through this phase. No one respected communications on any level voices happened anyways, no one respected what bullying is or messenger prevents, I kept getting more and more isolated to be left alone with voices, ruining one relationship after the next, trying to disturb my peace, and you will never know what keeps me going or what makes me happy, ending moments in life, if Im made to live life alone, then don’t expect me to try again, and consider that my life that was ruined. Who I was. I think focus wise, I have been open about thinking of solution, and instead terms were memorized and practiced against me trying to get me to fail to blame me as though Im doing something wrong by a rule I made in an effort to prevent, or said the word responsibility or don’t take on responsibility myself, I think I can take on anything so long as I am innocent that doesn’t hurt anyone. I mentioned “sufficiency and hesitation” instead of being trusted commended for my records and content, it became about why when hurting me, as punishment me deleting, not recognize that deleting hurt me, be defiant in the face of deletion or anything done in response to voices, other than punching my head, or messaging anyone, or calling police, or blogging online about it repat words said, maybe that can never be solved not in an iphone note, not online, so whats the permanency of words online, if you don’t care where I end up or don’t like where you are I didn’t misplace or displace anyone in life, being who I am I am interpreting life by my own creation and art work of what I feel describes who I am or the amount of effort that should go into my life. I think because I questioned others going by who’s hurting me, I didn’t forget life and being apart of or all the music and credits and photos, that’s not whats making me sick, it’s in what way is identity theft a joke, or why am I being convinced I am things that I am not, why call me delusion, then expect a solution for me when there are problems, I don’t think that is fair, as a writer. I explained to write you start with nothing, and described problem solving in that way too. Why should I be sick or worse off or suffer by voices or self harm, how low should I be in life to receive anger toward me its like everything I described is sought to occur again by voices, and there will never be a mental or physical condition that I am in that says its okay to beat me up or give me voices, bully me, shoot me, or express anger toward me via voices, and say that those people exist and call me delusional, then push for the discussion to be online in public, and question if turning voices into real people, is accurate way to tell me who I am or in what order Ive been bullied, if its those few instances challenged or hospitalizations unimpressed by then it shouldn’t matter if Im winning or losing to whom and why, I have to live to take care of myself, I cant keep up with discussion or sharing my story to be used against me and cause voices again isn’t fair to me. Its not fair to me to not be feeling well or be attacked like I let a whole team down. No if you are trying to turn my life into calling me things, I don’t have to live life or talk to anyone until I figure voices out, and that’s the truth, maybe you cant accept what working hard is or to what audience think that voices are delusion, then why are you reading here, when this is an email to court. If you mistake me as someone who speaks improper to people, and try to expose what I look like loving or otherwise, that’s not fair to me, who is openly myself online, mischaracterized until what that person says win. If its all about going by what they say, then why should I be controlled or made to think about or end up places based on what someone else says toward me, how is that representative of who I am or what fighting does to a person, or flipping out. My heads not gone, either respect my medical information shown, but don’t ever mistake conversation as not doing the work or a pirivlege that people are entitled to, the people cant handle what work looks like to court, therefore it’s probably not bene helpful to go on 3 day writing benders and writing a lot and opening up and calling that addiction. All I want to is to go back to normal and improve, I tried something new, writing in public “stating clarifictions” those clarifications weren’t respected or viewed s stupid as far as Im concerned, and maybe that’s something to discuss with court and not the people. I think anyone who threatens me court, is not someone I want to talk to anymore, so instead of accepting the difficulty of blocking with no explanation for why I would get suicidal blocking this person, and then have to quickly chat and get a reply, isn’t a proper way of determining wellness or who need who or who is telling the truth, or whos sick by who, I think we all matter. I think in every way I appreciated being special, its about what I think of myself and staying well, I cant help anyone, so long as I am in court, and judged as less than, then I also don’t have to write online, I will not share my story in AA because I have been sued twice sharing my story in private, and therapy is a place to work on whats been bothering me and should be allowed time to improve and feel better about myself. Not prevented each step of the way, its like I write nice emails about Trump, then write something short, and you think Im guilty, and studying for the bar is prevented. Its like I can never win because I discussed voices, and although I have described in the best way what it is like, I shouldn’t be going through something again in life, whether tech enabled, or by Verizon, or government, where anyone should question what my voice is or how it is made, this is why I need to be alone, and keep summarizing what are things Ive said and thinking about, and why Im getting voices, and in what way is anger caused toward me, based on my disability, and how important improvement is.

The ping pong table is in reference to Bungalows tiled table that matches my story of having visited P Diddy’s home on Star Island with his babysitter Kiki once and went swimming in his blue tile infinity pool. But he wasn’t at the house at the time. We were never invited to his White Parties but friends through Arnelle. I just saw a photo of my good friend in high school close for a moment Kelly Osbourne should have kept in touch put more effort into maintaining friendships but not forgotten still upset my photo album went missing in Boulder or at home with pictures of Kelly at my house on Rockingham.