I’m going through a lot and need to be alone I’m not giving up I don’t have a bad attitude I can handle my feelings hurt or negative comments just publish everything let people have their say consider it helpful to others. I’m sorry I was sober many years, attended AA, tried drinking but staying home, not helpful to question what I’ve done wrong both things being out alone or the alcohol not take chances. Be lucky to drive to OC even if I’m giving up getting voices or taken off adderrall. I don’t think I’m too late to have worked hard proud of other peoples strength. I stopped listening to music listened to music again, I can’t listen to music if I’m not feeling well or getting voices. I wish I was in a better place in life didn’t get hurt again took so long to block someone do my best to stay sober, write not take breaks glad I could fix my Cloudflare wrote many posts to learn how, make the daily commitment. I’m sorry if an email or how a group project can be sustained isn’t valued as occurring by watching me write a lot or discuss topics aside from the news on my own, and I’m sure to stay well prove I’m trustworthy be confident in words be able to figure out voices self harm successfully and it anger toward me, not get suicidal, not be in a bad place like right now writing uncontrollably online for days still can’t fix myself appreciated for how long it’s taking me to figure out what’s wrong. I’m sorry all my discussions to my Judge online were mistaken as problematic or not wanting to attend dramatic the goal is to show up to court and attend AA go to the same meetings. Be in a place I can attend meetings make sure my online presence is proper fit for anyone to follow not offensive and make sure group goals are accomplished being clear if I’m not feeling well try my best to not affect anyone here forward manage my struggle with voices and terms offline or self harm. I’m so lucky to have so much support everyone so nice pleasant toward me, do my part to be healthy lose weight pleasant and supportive apologize if I can for writing mistakes. Not handle a subject unless clarification would be helpful. Anyone will have a hard time explaining my disability to me or be able to help me if I’m something else worse elsewhere so be deserving of privilege ….. if life’s different and something’s wrong figure out what’s wrong with me, back off if I’m getting voices, accept not having an approved rock in life to go to when I’m feeling like this and not call 911 or talk to the police if it’s discouraged, not talk to courts if I’m told no, having a hard time being taken off line told not to blog when this was the only thing going well for me that helped show I came from a big story and presentable worker hard with concern for issues and became success to too it’s not just his name or all my website pages and shorty award descriptions I shouldn’t have to change what I’ve presented should be informative including any diagnoses I’m not changing …. If that’s who I was and something’s hard for me to figure out takes days of writing opening up to discuss what’s going wrong with me personally and why then allow that to be sad to read something for me to say to be more in control of myself if worried about my own focus or memory. Maybe being alone hurts and doing a better job of speaking to tough subjects is not too late to discuss online, make fun of emailing or question who’s reading. A solution can be found the more that rests on my plate the less people think it’s them, the more others are assured I want everyone to do well stay well focus on one another, and that was brave of me to say that maybe they need to see more work proof of work to know if I’ve focused on my mental health for long enough aware of what I’ve been through or now how that could affect others. I’m sorry Judge in OC instead of complaining or emailing or look like I know what courts about work on the public not being mad at me, focus on my content, be alone, not get sued, make sure things work out for me, I’m the event I’m not feeling well let my audience know. I’m not too late I’ve come so far, Im sorry no voices could accept the purpose of therapy meds, sleep, tv on when I sleep, mattress talking to myself, couldn’t appreciate fighting for myself toughness, couldn’t stay well well one day sick the next, I can figure out my own problems without bothering anyone. I can figure out a solution and cure for the kind of voices I get keep working toward solution if I want to publish a book, be in a good place in life to do book writing, work hard so I can get a job, not disappoint anyone, be honest, never lie, own up to my mistakes, get back to normal if people support me and they’re normal and if I’m alone struggling working through voices try not to discuss hurtful terms out loud if it hurts me to say it it won’t help to bring it up and put it on my blog. And figure out my own happy ending in life that doesn’t involve marriage and kids or things any diagnoses wouldn’t allow for, be someone allowed to have a life with a good head on my shoulders get through therapy and address public concerns, fix my image and reputation not get hurt anymore accept how life is and work hard to be respected appreciated valued and be able to talk to people be at ease.