Just had therapy opened up about messing up on my blog sounding bad look stupid and struggling with voices work on knowing what’s working for me keep track with my therapist, focus on sobriety and getting well get strong again make no excuses, not lose my prescription, sleep at night, not excuse staying up for 3 days on less or more it’s not healthy work hard but not to extremes still sounds like addiction on meds with no sleep is not created in the conditions people trust as positive effort so figure out how to work toward solution everyday do a little bit of work each day get to a place I can open up share stories socialize attend meetings …. Right now focusing on everything I maybe said wrong judged for all the ways I failed in femininity and weight loss, be able to work on a group project again maybe set a Shorty Award goal can fit a standard of acceptance not forget how helpful that was however of not it boosted me image wise I can do that on my own be alone I’m so sorry I got sued and I’m so sorry for things that have gone wrong I’m always doing my best my memory may not be as accurate viewed as at fault that I forgot to make clear all the positives and jobs I had but that’s okay people will think what they want to think all that matters is so many bad things happened under the umbrella of my cares so however long it takes to figure out and prevent that’s where my head is at voices or not not give up let anyone convince me I’m disabled or delusional I worked hard enough to write solid solution not gibberish be scolded for my limits at least I don’t hit my head anymore I’m half human now ….. it’s not okay for me to curse be misunderstood as mean misinterpret everything poorly I know I’m important brave took on challenges no one had to care or figure out but we did anyways not take for granted moments of strength or success in blogging is a quality about you enabled by not bothering others or getting complaints or being sued being a blogger is tough to be proper and for people to be okay with you. I’ve never really felt so much pressure in my entire life to stay well told I’m mentally ill had to stay well and not called 911 or ended up in the hospital …. I just feel like right now is not helpful means a solution can be found more helpful than make anyone wait or lose time worrying …. Everyone’s right in their own way I’m loving life as everyone else I hope my story inspires you find hero’s in life recover move on and things get better and you get a sense of what team spirit is about in your respective fields.