Because no one let me suffer in silence it was not okay to be on meds or stuck in bed the quality of life or constant crying or anorexia was probably someone who tried hard who is alone being nice may have worried others punished visited supported who’s cat died of cancer accused of doing cocaine told Shorty Awards I slept ok concrete my award was removed and not allowed to apply fur years, a lesson on 90k each quotes simple to facing sudden rejection by Father and Son accuse me not handling not being good enough defensively I made the effort to reach out the lesson is to improve I have to accept I was met too unstable or not successful enough to be known know what it is about me dear in or of issue go out into the world respected not misunderstood as bringing race up or compare who has jobs to me make fun of why I can’t work think it’s easy to be hired or not lucky to have a job just do your best for things to work out people work very hard to have money to pay for you was so lucky when I got jobs weight matters records court sobriety what people think maybe being given too many decisions made without me told as a group decided after 7 months of hard work we are sorry you have been given a letter of good standing but believe I need to be turned off sent away from life not fit to work means it’s unclear how I view life or what my issues are all the matters is I worked hard and instead I’m respecting I was spoken to you made things about who I am or where I am or what I’m insulted by and that’s not the determining factor Judge if I’m fit to know OJ or be famous meet others, I am a fan patient I’m not spoiled you can tell me I’m fucking nobody mentally ill a slot going to die homeless fraud retarded dumb etc etc I’m not pretending to be well getting an issue wrong with a job have issues about respect or read into others again life isn’t about me I don’t talk why the fuck would you accuse me knowingly getting an issue wrong or thinking too much about others mistreat me as reject when I was the one who recognized to stay away never not friended chill by me. You couldn’t get over why I’m quiet that you decided to convince me and everyone that my heads gone has things wrong threatened overthinking not appreciative friendly if big headed I’m nowhere else depriving anyone else of friendship as a person sued lead no difficult life or have problems with care ….. that’s how you have me wrong to change my entire experience to myself as someone who thinks their famous and is stupid has to look up and word and doesn’t know their own job adds insult to injury Judge I quit! I don’t have to earn back rights and lose everything go by anyone I don’t need anyone’s help or approval to know me better size me up for better places in life I don’t need to be nobody or be changed to make me quiet or any less social or inclined to share my story after lawsuit, there will be no summarized humor obnoxious decision of lawsuit bring up every case year 2008 to now accuse me of punishment it’s not a big deal I don’t have to talk about punishment with anyone or rejection or explain to anyone what the Judge is determining without me. They can’t help me because everyone tried to help me and thinks I’m sick and the focus is on what’s wrong with me instead of create my mistake and acknowledgement left a class and that was sad humiliating. You don’t know me don’t know my life don’t know my mental health can’t cure me can’t help me can’t decide for me can’t tell me what’s real or unreal can’t expect me to move on and don’t make fun of me telling me no watching me ask for things told no constantly asked questions watch me judge me ignore me view me isolate me if I don’t deserve a life I’m not in charge of the standards of normalcy anyone accuses me of being famous for something stupid or a suicide joke a pride joke or relapse joke. Because I was constantly stopped accused of mental illness accept that no one can tell when I’m well or struggling or knows how I should be and if sober I’m not good enough I don’t prefer to live life managed treated as guilty taking an easy way or lesser punishment watch me able then accuse me of feeling good and being stupid it’s not about momentum making life happen this is what job means balancing it all it’s about never having sex again for the rest of my life because it’s not a good enough showing to let me improve trust anyone it’s not me confused over who loves me doing two people it’s about me being accused of being unfit or texting bad my last date was on July 4th and you make fun of me being loved or having sex accuse me of being someone who can’t figure out what’s wrong. Knowing I was called in an ambulance didn’t date frequently decide to end my happiness everything a voices joke I don’t need a secret life too dangerous for normal people don’t accuse me of having acting skills accuse my ability as memorized character or fair government official ….. maybe being alone is the right decision. Since I wasn’t allowed. To be happy and my short Facebook shares regent good enough participation to illustrate I was in a good place instead you decided to turn everything into voices make me feel not good enough make fun of my story wasn’t told wrong we went through a lot …. No one can tell what’s right no one is rabbi the entire world is hoping for approving of rooting for my love and heroes accuse me of not being love losing lose not starting new or don’t remember who I was I can be loved by who I am now right how it’s important I prove I’m not mentally ill I don’t have a life to be loved with I need pictures now that show I’m okay well and not guilty and maybe that’s the af no joke I don’t need sex I didn’t battle voices like a joke like I don’t care or defensive and it’s not so untrue you just accuse me make my head gone as excuse to confuse me or act like I don’t have a sense of direction …. I’m alive for me I will survive for me I don’t need tech or a phone or computer I’m watched by the Attorney General I was a rape crisis hotline counselor who got a job at Boulder DAs office a new job victim advocate maybe I should’ve stayed in training and quit cocaine punished myself she knew I was high maybe that was good enough to inform her I tried drugs. But since when does a company name mean I’m paranoid if lawsuit means I’m going to get beat up in jail guilty of a sex offense I’m never going to go anywhere in life made fun of for not talking or sharing my story no one knows me I didn’t play Todd he’s not outsmarting me I’m not gay I used to self harm why I was there. A good person instead of caring who I was all voices or story readers cared about was making up excuses for stuff I said accuse me of being offensive again if his company means no means no and he saw my resume thats a mans company or saying you should not accuse me of being scared guilty or pick Todd by story I reported something to him, stop accusing me of being guilty all anyone cares about is whether discovering how to help meant using my story Thats accusing me of being stupid fought the problem if that works then do that with my life but dont accuse me of being connected if you thinks its safe to think Im alive not a soldier then tell me how I cant prevent crime make a game out of my facts Im not an unprofessional detective gravitating toward causes guilty If you mistake altruism or how to help, then make me start over stay home not tell my story and see if I can solve crime without having any information about the incident work on improving to prevent.