I think the point of being hurt in life is to teach you your own strength and any lesson on being exposed to pain in life is not usually something you ask for in life or deserve. I don’t think that being hurt enables you to catch up with life or keep up with life or more telling of who you are to not be made able to do things in life or be respected for how you speak about things or be credited for what you recognize if the focus is on what you’ve said or done wrong. I can’t think of any better solution for what’s happening to me in life other than being alone and to me that’s not giving up. I think dealing with a condition I can accept to be life long “voices” doesn’t mean my difficulties win or lose make living impossible or in irritation of voices in support of voices (a side against me) or in support of myself (to not enable bullying) is wasted effort or the meaning behind incomprehensible demoralization or hardship hurtful to my mind or the mind of another I don’t think I would try to be strong reflect on dislike or come to terms with difficulty in a way disappointing to anyone I’ve been honest with whether in a permanent way I’ve been hurt, hurt again, hurt to hurt others, hurt to be disabled, hurt to end up in the ER, hurt not treated as human, hurt and be alone, hurt not be loved, hurt and get sick, or hurt and not know why or be too late or incapacitated in the end it’s not about creating a system everyone believes in that works for everyone and suddenly everyone except for me improves or is allowed to move on doesn’t mean what exists in the minds of others working for others is at risk for not working out seen or not seen it’s clear (something being wrong is weighing on all of our shoulders if anyone is made to believe something is wrong that anyone should be in control of or question faith at this time who instilled upon man or woman of any kind). To me believing in myself and taking court seriously means to not take chances online or with people (clearly a situation I tried to manage is now worse a fan site) to which no communication could prevent, and clearly my discussion of voices or analysis of losses wasn’t good enough to value my experience or advocacy in mental health or time spent with the government honored as meaningful beyond in any way I’ve reached comprehension of systems rights and wrongs to be deserving of being special or viewed as intelligent I don’t think being in court is making it any easier for me live life not be bullied or excuse a fan site as not victimizing me or others, and I’m sure the issue when considering FEMA or in times of devastation doesn’t put anyone in a position to carry on as usual, or mistake writing or what medications are for. In every way I’ve been human and honest to punished, in every way open about court, punished, in every way mindful of voices and honest about treatment, punished, in every way I overcame anything viewed as my fault punished, and in every way treated undermined and that’s okay for things to worse not better even after having done my best or accepted in many ways what court means or take personally what I’ve been sued for I’m sure doesn’t make it clear who I am or what’s real and I’m sorry if making a choice to not talk to anyone and not make fun of a hate site isn’t doing a justice for any explanation of voices period. Life is difficult and I’m not giving up and although I can’t solve how I’m hurt or prevent me from being hurt in life babe difficulty over what the Judge means or how I’ve been hurt or in what way my feelings are hurt it’s okay to give up on court and what that means and give up on talking to anyone period if I’m hurt and I’m sure there’s a lesson in hurting me that probably serves a purpose or does a justice I’m not entitled to or be hurt in a way court, police, FBI, or my audience can’t help me with. and I’m sorry I’ve done my best will discontinue modeling selfies focus on writing blogging do my best to share my story outside of court therapy and avoid lawsuit stay away from everyone for the rest of my life and do my best to move on.