I worked hard to be online I’m sad in so many ways to get hurt aware of who I know not make things so personal political call me out on issues no one knows my story no one’s winning and I’m losing in doing my best I don’t need to figure out my mental health sounding stupid going nuts hitting my head alcohol is no excuse sobriety important writing breaks or quit blogging considered based on condition of voices with consideration of everyone not put me down change me disable me again … I’ve done my best challenged pushed limited faced emergencies necessary effort did my best I think you see me hear me watch video shamed for obesity and voices …. Shamed for hate website question my odds ….. I’m not telling anyone anything difficult period it’s not okay to call me mentally I’ll call me stupid delusional psychotic no one cares about me no one respects me you don’t get my brain or what I’m well by in picture voices are real reported ….. I’m doing my best improved worked hard decided to make fun of me not mattering exclude me doesn’t take away from the meaning peace and trauma faced by states I haven’t forgotten to be human stay away take breaks not get sick get a job not get hurt I can’t figure out what hurts I have to give up in terms of addressing topics if no one is clear on what mental illness is whatever writing was stupid offensive happened be in control ….