Recently since August 30th I’ve been struggling privately preventing bullying toward me and the launching of a hate website. There were moments of calm, moments of emergency, balance, and negative consequences to my mental health. All in all doing my best to stay strong in spite of what’s said about me continue to represent myself and keep moving forward in life and not let anyone ruin my life for any reason via intimidation bullying or lies false claims or complaints online team up on me.

Everyone is deserving of feeling special I am no different to anyone else suffering in need of a lift. But things have taken a turn for the worse which makes it unnecessary to respond to this person anymore or try to work things out. This person asked for pictures sent and is asking for sex and doesn’t understand I’m not dating working on myself need to be alone and focused on getting a job. Despite writing at a grueling pace battling bullying none of my writing proved sufficient to stop this person from hurting me and trying to gather support for himself deciding to turn on me for refusing to talk to someone exposing me, insulting me, defaming me, threatening me, lying, spreading rumors, and being out right mean to me is not deserved after 4 years of dealing with the consequences of his last hate website which was mentally disturbing the website this year worse than anything I’ve ever seen done to a human being online, let alone female blogger, or high profile character or successful blogger online. 

The Effects on your Mental Health:

Disorientation: Feeling lost, working hard, losing data, being hacked, information being deleted, connections in life unwanted, weight changes, face changes, heart condition, loss of consciousness, injury. 

Memory loss: Working hard and attacked upon doing well until I don’t feel well again. Using my blog as a platform to bully comment insult make fun of me try to connect steal content cause deletion. 

Fighting shouting: Being upset defensive, drinking, arguing giving up, sounding bad, changes to my writing attitude, provoked to say things as ammunition to hurt me with.

Embarrassment: Unwanted exposure, insult, and threats to my safety without caring what happens to me make people think less of me and hurt me based on health or reputation enable others to harm me think they’re bigger than me or smarter than me. Discredit my life, progress, hire ability. 

Intimidation: Using guns and death threats to scare me, be insensitive to injury or not feeling well come back and decide to hit me harder without recognizing the lethal consequences of scaring me to death or suggesting to others to kill me mislabel me. 

Sickness: Not staying well having good and bad days, continue to harm me, team up on me, relentlessly, making me worse then misdescribe stages of battling bullying in private make public misinterpret gathering strength as excuse to beat me to death. 

Depression: Requiring meds to feel good, put down so far, to try to cause suicide or hospitalization. Trying to affect my hireablity creating an explosive uncomfortable conversation online no one wants to read or see. Continue to be angry toward me not mindful of my energy being a human being and going through a lot. Fight me in public and try to delete me from the internet & life. Not respectful of my need to be alone after leaving treatment being too needy and demanding of my time constant interruption and constant demand for replies then inconsiderate with replies publish website.

Voices: Using court and diagnosis to create a false reality of people against me knowing I’m a popular blogger, seek to validate himself by causing me mental disturbance and try to cause me voices or accuse me of delusion devalue me make fun of me and try to hurt me in public and in private and not stop upon being told to stop and reported him on several occasions I don’t deserve to be used made fun of or receive death threats without concern for people in my life including my audience impacted by hate. 

Question your value life: Upon being exposed feel disrespected, attacked for what I look like, never having met me in person to know what I look like with no regard for disability meds, impairment, difficulty. Seek to justify himself by making fun of what I sound like sick by voices. Which he encourages doesn’t help prevent mental illness tries to induce it and call me names misdiagnose me and spread lies. He doesn’t know me doesn’t know my life. 

Feel people against you: Using court to threaten me intimidate me or use people as a weapon against me threaten me hack me steal torture expose private information subject me to identity theft being robbed. 

Powerlessness: Feeling frozen like there’s nothing I can do to stop this person and doing my best to rise above not fight. 

Negativity: Not wanting to talk to anyone, stay home not blog, not instagram, not model, refuse to appear in court, face bullying and being teamed up on prevented from reaching a diplomatic solution not allow me to report be uncool with me see him as forgivable and treating this as a breakup hurt my heart accuse me of hurt. Not respect right to refuse sex I’m not a pervert he asks for nude photos and photos of my vagina to masturbate to me, I quit! All he wants is power trying to be famous ruining my life victimizing me in public. 

Isolation: Not wanting to email or communicate with anyone period including the public or help by blog not allowed to rest. Attacked upon feeling better spoken to like I’m stupid or need help or support then doing the exact opposite online cause war. 

Giving Up: Feeling suicidal can’t handle the pressure mental disturbance changes fighting sobriety meds can fix what he’s doing writing can’t help question why of all people and women am I being attacked online when they don’t allow celebrities to be treated this way. Use me try to steal power and good luck earned by me try to steal my identity and steal fans convince people I’m sick or think less of me and not care of if I get hurt attacked or dissed. To me the damage has been done I did my best to talk to him all summer and constantly replied to him and can’t afford to be aggravated by someone who victimizes me then puts me down and my entire team.