I’m sure in every way I tried my best, and however I tried hard able to work speak to tragedy in a place to help or have a demonstrated work ethic or belief in myself that would make my writing beneficial to others, it shouldn’t the matter the details or offense taken period isn’t a reality I should be on meds critical of me not accepting working hard and being viewed as sick, instead of disliking conversations with a Judge I don’t know and who Ive spoken to once, doesn’t mean Im ever in a position of privilege inconsiderate of sacrifices made to help me support me or take the time to speak with me, should be blamed for being kicked out continue to accuse me of having a bad life or a person of poor conduct faith or presence easily derailed by life experiences consider effort and respect and honesty notification of disability a handicap to any establishment, just know that Im nowhere in life blogging blinde to reality or some place well, that should be taken or lost or change to misinterpret doing a justice or put as priority others who have been helped, judge my issues or delivery or difficulties knowing me hearing of a challenge or deciding that I should make mistakes in areas Ive struggled texting consistently punish me as not making sense or misinterpret my tone, or accuse me of not being appreciative making a good impression, Todd Spitzer isn’t doing that, the Judge isn’t doing that, who is paid to help me isn’t doing that, no treatment or shots given are phases in life I went through meaning Im a bad person or mistake insult or definitions changed as a superficial way of accusing me of being maladjusted or not timely considerate or with tolerance for everyones expressions and not understand why whos helping me is not hurting my feelings or telling me Im being punished or medications unnecessary given the mental difficulty or voices make self harm or voices as superficial subject to involve tech or lenses or website period. Im not in control of anyones anger and a conversation with the FBI doesn’t mean telling me bad pictures are my fault a discomfort needing to be repeated making fun of my body or telling me Im not hot or facing obesity aging and disfigurement or not modeling as not considerate of peoples preferences. It’s clear on who I was and what solution is expected, it’s clear I can’t date based on me being a blogger and its more important that I preserve my peace than affect anyone else’s peace and I don’t need to be criticized for following loss blame any one comment of needing to be alone, or considering not talking to anyone as solution isn’t me giving on how a lawsuit with DA suing me and 7 months of treatment and losing my job and deciding to send me away sober and working, means I can afford a longer stay off meds, not painful as it is, I can learn and sit with it not make my emergency anyone else’s, be mindful of my shared interpretation of voices, awareness for their not being a cure for schizophrenia and being told it’s a deadly disease a circumstance that puts me in a rush to do things in life as if Im dying, or make fun of me in respect to genetics accuse me of not working hard to be accepted not accepting, its in whatever way its clear of who I am or what Ive done wrong is certain, is not about making fun of me threatening court, or use being sued by a DA represent my interpretation of voices view voices as reflecting victims or actual people or voices not coming from me that illustrate who or what Ive done wrong or make fun of my condition getting worse no matter the improvement job, time period, crush, investigation, or belief, it’s a tough pill to swallow when your mental health is an unimpressive recovery or be in a place in life even if everything is better or improved, continue to ridicule my contributions to science or care, be unclear about disability, success, what Ive done wrong, how Ive demonstrated what is wrong is right, and be critical of decisions to not date, in spite of voices and self harm, I think if you think Im a reject or catfish or an apple lens tech joke, then I cant convince you of what I look like or how a face is made, a dishonest representation of others, view dissatisfaction off meds or how diffilcuty and confrontation is managed too difficult to wait or unnecessary to disclose, isn’t about what Ive done wrong or make fun of my limits of view me as guilty or the cause, all I can do is do my best and not talk to anyone if the issue is whether I have victims and suddenly no website is evidence of help, and if everyones viewed everything and I have no privacy, then why make fun of who voices can be or represent, I don’t think its funny to threaten to court view 12 years of photos and writing and a masters degree and resume, or time away from work blogging to earn the right to work show that Im making good use of my time, facing challenges in a way, that aren’t easy, traumatic, continue to view me as doing something wrong or not working hard in a job writing motions, however long it takes to prove myself is however long it takes, in whatever way Ive misspoken or offended anyone or not been good enough that’s whats wrong with me, I accept time apart as time to work on myself, I accept difficulty, to be too much for comfort to bother anyone, and see myself as able if Im permitted to do well, make the right decisions, don’t continue to make mistakes in writing, trash my blog, or make fun of texts of where Im headed next, everyone is entitled to their innocence and be given a solution to a problem that is not of their own making, living up to standards is not a place in life to make proud who has passed, decide to punish my presence or work ethic as problematic or mental illness, or demonstrate immaturity or guilt, everything in life happens for a reason, win or lose, hospital or not, voices occurring interpreted as “victims” or view a space talking to a DA as shared or interrupt any conversation with voices or self harm decide to punish me or make me not beautiful accuse me of being ugly on inside and not full of light, good values or having lived life learning lessons, in life not stupid online or stupid in real in life, unsure how Im hurt, and use now or a fan site to determine how Im hurt or what makes me strong, for however long it takes to prove wellness is however long it takes, if Im threatened with lawsuits and if the preferred scientific value of my experience with voices over time, is about blame I would view voices as reflecting there to be something wrong with me, view a disturbance of my peace a quality about life special to my home. Location or any photo, not make fun of my applications to the military online 2013 and in person once, required to provide a detailed record of use dates or drugs finding it difficult to be in a place in a place in life Im sued twice, discontinue dating, stop self-harm, take a break from communications, or writing, make fun of my senses or what Im strong enough for, I don’t view life as not working hard to improve request for privileges in life to continue law school notified of mental health issues, submit formal letters consider me offended by “my own vagina” or “box” jokes, again its not about who’s stupid or where solution lies, making anyone small, me too late, not proud, discontinue a conversation, make public a system of dysfunction like all my subscribers deleted from my wordpress or About page linked to my informed consent superficial ways I should be touched or bothered pause face mental difficulty tech is not equipped to manage or requires a fortitude or ability to see the future and know if things are okay and able to live independently mistake disability and punishment and I think the DA and being dropped as a patient is the result of whats wrong with me or what I being helped with not make fun of me having it good given meds, accuse me of talking shit or speaking badly about others, picking up on things wrong or sensitive to people voices or toughness or what Im given in life, expecting something misread or cant identify whether Im offensive and inappropriate or not, my head may be down, and everyone else may be improving, but don’t accuse me of misstating solution have a history of creating a campaign or images and content to focus on a positive representation of effort hard work and a timeline of things going right, never mistake my privacy or allow for meds, or alcohol or attendance to be used to deny me the privilege of taking meds, or ignore my honesty and willingness to be helped, not someone who is helped or too dangerous to be helped, or in need of one meds, punching my head, and cant respond to a text in the AM, focusing on writing, who I lost everything to, or a person you call any use of the word or “demand for cocaine” an equal and accurate request having given a photo of my vagina on demand, mean Im racist, or name insensitive, I can’t control all the ways I say one thing, decide to discontinue sharing my story or reiterate how its not safe to mention anyone, scold or punish me for naming an incident of bullying again portrayed on his own website a form of threat, not taken seriously, mean Im in a place god given not earned sober challenged having earned the right to keep going investing years in being sober, again its not about judging my reality is not a TV a show, my recognition of issues is not falsely identifying a DA, who I texted to notify I would be in OC, mean Im entitled or some government permission ability fake soldier joke, or time loss not respectful taking meds to be in a place I should be but will never be, a lost soul or jail joke replaced body or lost mind inhabited voices being you just throw in jail for no reason, without letting me appear in court and speak in court or speak to a Judge, is a hard lesson on being viewed as wrong, or mismanaging or over speculate what 2017 was about with no voices, no sex, learning blogging, quotes writing, making the same mistake twice, I am no place better in life to be loved or don’t know what love or sex is for or at what point being told Im schizophrenic is an unclear way of telling me to stay away from everyone for the rest of my life, not go to treatment, not date, for the right reasons recognized forced to accept things Ive previously worked hard for in life, now not possible, and its not about what I can see, or accuse my weight of fluctuating based on if Im loved or not accuse me of giving up or make light on a lawsuit 2017 or accuse me of misconduct or drug use or alcoholism or bad connection or view being pulled over sent home, ways to justify rejections or determine for there to be something wrong with me that stands out Ive not been punished for not traumatizing or concerning not my fault not in my control not disrespecting the value the CHP, I think in all the ways I credited and empowered others, did my best to be honest, get helped Im sorry for all the ways changes in my appearance or weight gain did a disservice impression wise or for it to be unclear on “being told to focus on my mental health” with a job paid, was being in a program for 7 months pushed to my limits, working hard for a job, and blaming me for a loss by using court or a time period for dismissal a way to blame me inconvenience me be confronted as a group not anyone making it an emergency to have a letter written for me anywhere acting unwell or guilty, undeserving of treatment, however my condition looked or was unacceptable is whatever happened to me, at whatever point voices occurred, is whatever happened, and was short lived and went away, became a more common form of suffering and misuse of all private spaces period not matter whos hacking, whos watching, who Im talking to, or what I believe, or what I say, Im learning the hard way, that solution must occur in public to all, as solution for voices, and if voices are the cause for relationship losses, or mental health difficulties make a joke of misunderstanding me, not empathize with me respectful of others in my life, then maybe having no one in my life is the solution, Im aware that in every way I improved honestly over 4 years, that was the proof of who I was and how I looked that got deleted and a way to make fun of my own picking meter how to tell whats important as though I select or delete my own value hurting myself, making fun of my information losses computer and phones losses, as painful, or starting over in a way, Im not avoidant of responsibility or someone who forgets or is selfish or gives up or is by title or resume or heading fought as though I image ways I don’t live up to expectation as a way to memorialize Justice Ginsberg’s death or make public being known, and then not amounting to anyone important, choose the basis for declaring me a failed source of inspiration a type of confrontation or reaction coming from me that I should be offended by or not able to put into words or explain, making no one person less innocent or mindful accuse me of being offended living life guilty or not cool, decide to choose an interpretation that Im constantly graded on clarity solution and not forgiven for mistakes, willing to accept being called things, and called things again, make fun of my address of accusations, consider life difficult, or be critical of a email to Fox News, and having read a magazine with David Hogg on the cover confuse the timing of mention or email as reflecting poorly a focus preferred and protest public, mean Im some place speaking in public that should affect or cause mental illness to any victims of school shootings, is a solution not blurting out a person successful and intelligent who went to Harvard, question the risk of mention of hashtags or level of seriousness and trauma and description of police question timing, freeze me, slow me down, make fun of my sobriety, create ample opportunity to be alone and explain what voices means and whats my fault, can remember everything Ive said, and have not made any major life threatening emergency in life, or made light of anyones reactions or not reached out or been prosecutorial toward someone I spoke to an investigator about about withholding emails or formal reports submitted unhelpful or too late, or in vain, or is my fault, a proper way to view life given business cards to fake investigators connected to a google search of rape offenses, make fun of me or my professionalism or demonstration of care, if that was one way I was given fake numbers and heartbroken, then Im sure for whatever reason I searched Detective Chamurro’s name and found it in Texas, was another identified way of informing me whether my privacy has been violated or make fun of when help stops or leads to psychiatric hold, its not about me accusing anyone of making me sick or dealing with difficulties in life, easy to address or allow myself to be made fun of a waste of 39 years unprotected to decide Im not a hero not remember me, be in a place no one else is at, or need to be alone to lose, or get voices ongoing or not credited for time it went away, confuse my recognition of an issue existing that doesn’t exist literally which tech is not responsible, mean Im  online lying about who I am or posting fake photos, that was the ultimate low, weight gain and having seen real pictures accuse me of using a lens or covering for a defect inside me or excuse for evidence of me losing my head or flipping out gaining weight running everyday viewed as nude, made fun of for trying, are all the ways I came to know and understand my own temperament and mind and quotes that were not recognized as actually liked or what gathered acceptance, are all the ways anyone ever got to know me or study me, and all the ways I lost it and excuses for lost followers explanation of people turning away, decide Im in some imagined difficulty working hard or being put down trying to get a job, or in a place writing wise humiliated and not proud of my work online that requires explanation again whatever is wrong with me is an attitude that can be seen by others, if any description of an experience with voices was offensive and its unclear the value of my life, Im not living life offensively or giving up or not who I am say I am intending to live life guilty not measuring up, everyone doing okay, or making anything about me not owning up to whats wrong with me its up to me to improve, I think being alone, accepting the consequences of many unofficial attempts to mention the creation of a website that overtime becomes a non issue, is about criticizing my views based on difficulty problem solving mistakes made someone unhelpful who misinforms misinterprets reality has poor senses, is someone who gets hurt easily or blames others, I think in every way he decided to punish me is for however long it took for me to stay well, and be forced to write looking bad, disliked, rejected, create an open forum to accuse me of having victims or being a poor advocate learning lessons based on the mistakes Ive made, not punished for the harm Ive caused misinterpret any website or change in definition to schizophrenia, again its my life, and Im sorry for whatever Ive said tested in life, or by way of analysis, or participation in job applications, emails, websites created, to lose on my own merits, never makes life easier or mean a solution should arrive quicker than solution has been found by everyones success, maybe my adherence to punishment not be given money stay home, was misunderstood as challenge not motivating me, or reflect an offensive sense of humor related to my own home or political standing or demeanor over analyze bad pictures or the amount of time spent outside accuse me of being a second hand smoking cancer risk, its not that my story doesn’t matter or details aren’t the solution or a prevention concern you decide to accuse me of being connected to everything make jokes about blame or “finish lines” moments and rest and peace, life is however it was made to be, you are either surviving and living honesty helped or cant be helped, try to help all, face difficulty having everyone see your vagina on a website no one sees, make fun of a difficulty toward my head, mean that I need to make mistakes look stupid, open interpretation to everyone knowing me and accuse me of hurting everyone, and use any lawsuit to let anyone sue me or view me as guilty for whatever reasons or mental difficulties or disability I suffer from, improved off meds, worked hard toward solution on meds, I don’t question how others can tell if Im mentally ill, or resentful of the achievement of functioning sober up late, working a tough schedule about how I look, or making a mistake to join to bumble with no scientific explanation for lens or apple of issue, mean lost privilege is whats secretly being communicated to everyone something clearly wrong with me that seeing me becomes clear, mean Im trying to disadvantage the simplicity of how I appear look or continue to do my best, sometimes you have to accept no one did that to me, no one hurt me, he is not viewed as mean, things are taken to extremes personally that Im doing my best to be alone whether a diagnosis told me that or if everyone is told I do or don’t have a genetic disease or decide to explain how life works intimidating what Ive provided question the innocence of others protected and privileged to work for a DA, make fun of my independent journey in life, Im not living life attacked from all sides, constantly bothered or disturbed a shared life easily insulted about what life is about if you cant handle me separately then respect if there is no campaign, rethink all the ways I was made to fail and forced to write and be rejected, and not given at most 2 days rest, continue to ignore the pressure on me or blame me or accuse me of taking on challenges in life trying to reverse the reality of what life is smart by or offended by not apart of or consider loss of love given to others, entitle me to privilege I don’t deserve or lose based on sexuality proven or number of ways I should be ignored or given a hard time, is whatever Im going through will take however long it takes to get well and stay well, I think every chance at making me sound stupid all the ways the quality of my writing has changed, all the ways I did the work to write, made fun of unstable blamed, use celebrities or beloved narrators and on point independent and not examples of anyone Ive harmed accuse me of being a bad connection or a sick voice or writing or contact is about me protecting myself, me supporting everyone, viewing me as nice to everyone, accepting of my disability, accept what I sound like not looking smart, accept job interviews and rejections, accept not losing weight over the month of cardio everyday, Im not capable of hurting a lot of people use my mental health or disclosures as disheartening or difficult or some place on adderrall that doesn’t exist off meds, like I don’t have an ability to write, and if given an ability to write get sick, or take things too far, as though I am gambling unhappy with everyone elses peace, I consider all upsets as reflective of something I could be doing better, and consider my own upsets and issues as things that are my fault, I see my won stupidity is either caused or improved in my control, therefore however my story was not believed to accuse me of insulting school shooting victims, or make fun of where Im at in life, or what is done to me for what reasons, it is clearly a dangerous subject, not a Twitter joke, I think sometimes making something wrong with me to tell everyone something is wrong with me no matter the timing or issue, is maybe not my peace to lose in that way, and its upsetting all the ways I tried to help documented my life, anyone decided to hurt me. Im not online, guilty, schizophrenic and in law school with a secret experience or way of thinking that’s wrong or not approved punished in the hospital Im sad that my experience and comprehension of suicide or membership to AASuicidology was not good enough to address the loss of a musician a specific address was wanted make fun of me calling 911, or missing issues, create this eventual place of good enough or blame or difficulty anyone accuses my story or my guilt mistakes issues innocence is turning people away or allow for following losses on cloudflare beginning at the time of fan site and opening up for 3 days, something of value deleted or a discomfort Im overcoming or excuse voices or judge who I am as a person, as wrong or sick minded or the cause or reason for anything sick made or use love or acceptance for men against me, critical of not continuing to combat voices calling me pervert, not prescribed meds, or taken off meds, is nothing happening to me, that means his decision was incorrect or not relatable person not viewed as harmful anyone would suggest Im giving work or blame to make fun of a long blog posts identifying things that got deleted and expect me to explain how this loss specifically from One Direction is related to me or what Ive done wrong in life unforgiveable, or studied about me, to make a loss my fault in a way, that anyone continues 39 years later to ignore everyone else doing well and at peace, think Im defensive or doing things in defense of myself that show guilt or make fun of a 12 year long recorded timeline of my life, accuse me of being offensive and not knowing Ive offended anyone, or someone who needs to be told they’ve offended anyone, or use my story to blame me for any analysis, in the end I have to accept being alone, and offered no support, or arrival to a place in life, anyone is glad Im here, or forgives me looking and sounding stupid, or being blamed for everything, make fun of putting me down to question the motivations of people coming up, and accuse me being in a place to justify how solution is found for voices by hearing my explanation of it, and doing the work online in detail without talking to anyone, not waiting for devastation offense or time to look around or rest or lose followers and make fun of my crisis or trying to figure out the cause be shown a card stupid and offensive not respect I lived in West Hollywood, not respect my sexuality, not respect meeting attendance, not respect marching, not respect who I representing, and making fun of me as tired, if I worked hard and you haven’t seen the work, then I will have to work hard again and do more work online, until peace and respect is achieved and until its clear Im not threatening lawsuit, undertaking responsibilities with sex problems capable of harming anyone, don’t disrespect the diagnosis or meds required, or be threatened by dedication or time period or invade any space dislike everything think everything is stupid, make everyone sue me, make everyone know me, make everyone hate me, I don’t have a solution for explaining my outlook my campaign while being hurt or avoidant of care rescind care or being told Im guilty based on what I say to Todd, in the end its not a group project life, and nothing the CIA can help me with how decisions are made, monitored earn the right to be left alone. The lesson is its not Todd being hurt its not being hurt in front of Todd its not me hurting myself, not its not my guilt, or a perseverance or way of communication popular Im in or critical of not cool working hard need to be insulted or face disability to be alone, so no one can help me, is maybe the solution to judge the accuracy of my photos is not a place in life good, accuse me of being angry or doesn’t like myself saying the wrong thing, or the one thing or tweet that turns away love, I think in ever way life was observed it was decided without me and that’s none of my business how a DA is used, or makes jokes about whats wrong with me, or who is harmed, is not an easy subject.