I’ve called in the past, recently coming to terms with discussions online and in private concerning my own losses and while reflecting on jobs lost jobs trips to ER support over the years, progress, function, disclosures, self harm, living in Santa Monica with no TV able to sleep in the quiet have slept with the TV on since moving home to Gretna Green a Canva card was made featuring two Halloween homes a job at Peace Over Violence attendance at Palisades AA meetings in Caruso’s building while working in Pasadena, bringing up a fight in the meeting a person scolded for sharing a story about one of AA’s Founders being a pervert, and ways in which using location, death, incident, or photograph is used to accuse me of being disliked fought or a source of offense or later display of guilt as though now or ever in life was any expression made in offense or attack of life story or people not capable of helping others underperforming or down graded not viewed as able to finish my JD, with criticism of what my face looked like when my therapist put a sticker of Justice Ginsberg on her computer after sharing an important drawing from memory of my time in court kept in a locked fire safe with other valuables considering the lost possession of accounts online my own fault. Recently its been unclear how Ive demonstrated an effort toward prevention compared to my surroundings accusing me of mental illness or taking down a poster on Wilshire of Barack with blood on his face not offensive accuse a photo of the poster and giving the poster pieces to the Federal Building not good enough requiring of me now an explanation for Aurora with a CU Boulder license plate instead of a biker studded plate after recording videos visited my first mass shooting, accuse me of offensive content harmful to anyones health find no value in research proposal sent to HRC not publishing a list of crimes recent or blog post suggesting to write a list to solve, a decision to view life as motivated to represent things Im accused of insensitivity or separatetism, or being known poorly or try to make me known in an offensive way so I dont matter or punish hurt me as though Im not capable of prevention not view discontinued dating as appropriate not respect my few experiences social or at peace, or two websites accuse me of being stupid or offensive or accusatory not helpful, no respect participation on Twitter or deactivating my account left up by my AOL mail, accuse me of being in school mentally ill online after being sent to rehab finishing my paralegal certificate continue to not let me move forward put down and also punished as discontinued care occurred make fun of my awareness for similar treatment to follow in support of rescinded care and tell me missed appointments are my fault, the shock isng about making fun or family or loss neighborhood or name as telling of a system that any post is used to accuse me of threat or offense responding to news be unaccepting of discontinued systems messaging emails therapy of any type or kind discontent with explanation of voices, non acceptance for any story or detail positive or negative or mistake make fun of my fear hurt but cant prove not respect any court living situation or job as protective install a camera on Ocean View accuse me of endangering my family or make fun of how I addressed two attorneys passing away, never made a big deal of my medical records or find solution at Cedars or make injury types relevant to “schizophrenia” unaccepting of time on meds 12 years or treatment TMS with two jobs not respect the value in describing what trauma is like nowhere unfit for help or any place of importance fail to inspire or be innocent, when I say its unsafe to tell my story or concerned for use of details injuring me making fun of me traumatizing me exposing me punishing me in public is making fun who voices represent but dont exist make fun of how lawsuits happen is not me allowing myself to be beat up or refuse medical care its about what does disability or injury to me serve a purpose to whom what am I alive for if Im strong accuse me of living life offensive discredit all jobs writing a book dating legal education or on as prescribed accuse me of not improving or punishing voices make fun of my strength or explanation writing or discussion of how hurt or getting help accuse me of being on meds or unhappy or unnecessary or at fault or taking meds negative or not able to handle life as assumed made fun of or memorialized, for an unstated solution found disabling me Im not on meds to confront solve or be found guilty as offensive inappropriate make fun of me off meds I have come to accept or tried achieving solution through continued sharing instead of be made fun of for book or failed relationships I see has come to mean Im not valued or not a hero make fun of two websites make fun of me knowing whos hurting me with no stage respected as handling difficulty in private not punish me for being known exposed or blocking decide to memorialize a hate website as code leading use feet terms repeating treatments telling me no to everything, making me wait, no one talking to me, insulted by my strength, annoyed by crying, not accepted as recovered or improved in a better place reassuring, but calling hurtful terms delusion hurting me and putting me in crisis refuse to call 911 submit reports take meds go to the hospital or stay sober means scotus or the govt isnt a dangerous system of power or me by use of ex pen pal in which a harm to me or illness or diagnosis is not difficult to accept or disclose for me to be hurt and not know how, be punished in a way Im not making up 10 yr goals not solving emergencies based on when things are okay mean being alone is not the solution Ive discussed incidents or hospitalizations as ways my head has been hurt all the road rage directed at my car and disfigurement imagined Ive made no doctor responsible for delays or not protected my family, or deleted messages unavailable for group study or use am working toward solution not fighting voices as it turns out not getting help or saving copies of insults hurt me not checking hurts constantly too late cant stay well, constant dissatisfaction with effort or “work online” constantly isolated or made to revisit voices self harm no matter what my face looks like and for sickness to occur upon improvement voices and selfies and official correspondence called “garbage” visiting Santa Monica courthouse not submitting documents to court clerk view an emergency submission (he made fun of me for doing nothing no ones listening highlight hes not punished for hurting me) decide to use a deduction of voices or his health or normalcy as preferred or related to accuse me of carrying a hurt misdiagnosing fetnyl as a deadly drug requiring reversal make fun of calling me a disease with no cure, accuse me of being a cause of death or ignore all my photos accuse me of taking bad photos on demand off meds or being too tired to keep up with texts or fighting decide to make discussion of voices using my analysis 1x back accuse me of victimizing many people haunted or at fault guilty make no long writing good enough or deletion, to keep hurting me because I wondered why hes doing so well make fun of me talking to someone who spoke well make fun of decisions to make me live life disabled off meds means Im not worth the meds or overdose or suicidal, I asked for meds wrote peacefully for 3 days received a text early a person I gave my number to most of the people I met, mean its not important to talk to an investigator that being hurt isnt believed or no one being in charge of punishing me mean its funny or lying to be hurt and not know who youre being hurt by making fun of “term hurts me” and not know why then decide to analyze all of life as identified by others you accuse me seeing the word pervert everywhere not respect my entire story or a stack of playboys in OJ’s bathroom means a harm is being caused to me so severe thats assumed to be my fault that forcing me to accept hurt or terms is in disbelief of me as prevention and solution has not been found in John Cockrell and Paco Jazz being okay or me being alone, or two lawsuits, or disability, or any mood discussion difficulty is making fun of the FBI telling me forced photos taken to take down a fan site were shown instead and I look bad accuse me of being stupid or not loved or punished or suicidal writing at court everyday decide that being hurt again is my fault, if they dont see me as innocent accuse me not knowing my own story I shouldnt get hurt if theyre okay, or be injured to be a victim or get hurt not allowed 1 day normal too late to respond to a comment, means what about voices, Judaism, heroism, COVID, wuhan lab, accuse me of genetic disease wrongdoing or causing sickness, or make fun of my experiences overcoming voices and by age 39 continue to suffer (with no cure) that they use the FBI to say us my fault, and if nothing I say is code known or studied to make scientific decisions that dont involve punishing me, I have a right to explain everything without being hurt especially not be anyone they do not see as hurtful or respect how Im hurt or by what offenses alleged or make fun of increasing severity of seriousness as to my head make of who I am or what I say or what Im strong enough for not respect any explanation or 36 posts written in 3 days cause me lose an entire audience sharing Barton’s share having not told anyone about prejudice toward me and my sexuality with acceptance for his, I think constantly making my head gone and accuse me of being a pervert is real cannot be proven represents who Im helped by a private interaction their sexuality disclosed and turning epithets or face dysmorphia or mention of terms preceding Scalia’s death, my drawing, not being racist by reiterating that Im not black in so many ways not privileged or entitled to the same protections or support and focus on book writing or blogging means writing is not viewed as focus on mental health no one reading or reading matters people in reality reading existing or not doesnt mean Im unhelpful to his struggle costuming, ultimately we wont know who knew me who I worked hard to improve has turned into a game of fighting me making gender body dysmorphia or issues period with solution membership or discussion make fun of as not meaningful interpret life by what I see or point out as threats decide everythings known and no solution for fighting me found in the permanent acceptance of dealing with voices not blaming voices or anyone still not see the solution in anything I say or keep punishing me and calling me a “no show pervert” or not accept my place in life or decisions to be alone or going through a lot instead of respecting me for sounding mentally ill toward men texting me and not accuse me of unknown relapse or a night out, then kindly accept my discomfort showing my vagina how getting voices in addition to threat by a Judge means to accept whats punishing me not representing myself, whats hurting me voices calling me terms, what conversations have been discontinued due to voices is reading my conversation to Todd and dislike for mention of the Menendez brothers having heard of new proof, while acknowledging how Im punished as rejected or not modeling not fit or ready for sex, has resulted in being too late for anything “not apart of” accuse Todd of being upset I sang or blogged which was okayed, not respect any timeline or find any peace seeing everything exposing me “no big deal” everything, continue to punish me as being too late make serious the loss of my Dad and OJ or any loss are not people who are no longer here because of me or my story, its about punishing me hurting me (to hurt everyone) not see the value in discontinued emails or messages, not see solution in being alone, or respect filtering articles any stage or progress period no matter whos hacking or reading or attorney general watching, if theres no solution in fighting voices choosing to not write was preferred then exposing me disconnecting me, disliking any comment private means its not safe to talk to anyone or CIA is contacted and freezing me giving me problems scaring me sending me away telling me Im not good enough is about what about my life I should face or whats difficult about looking at me disabled, than the saying “not good enough” is not denying victims of crime closure or using diagnosis or discussion as unhelpful or accommodating reported, then the issue is what prevents, figuring out why Im alone whats wrong with me, whats the solution without bothering anyone or being made fun of, compared to offenders is something very serious I need to figure out what to do with my life and identifying what is wrong with me identify the issue texting period never date again the issue voices stay off bumble the issue obesity not attend AA the issue controversy, and to do my best under pressure my head and body hurts and Im in pain suffering working hard not bothering anyone, and not reading into others making mistakes offended by anyone a reject or mentally ill confirms how my life has turned into punishment and no one talking to me ignore who I do talk to, mistreat me as gaslight or ghost accuse my love as delusion, means this not talking to anyone and getting voices or suffering and cannot be helped not reporting calling 911 not scaring anyone should be given an opportunity in life to live home work not hurt me or my family I didnt do worse to make his website worse and I didnt have a good day get hurt do anything wrong or hurt anyone. If theres no solution for me getting sick or opportunity to be credited for step work or discuss in court my timeline and all my information then Im not fighting anyone if Im scared making fun of posts letting him theres no solution. Give me time to get through life prove myself on time with time with CHP traveling strong with membership love or no love job or argument or make of issue being too late or not figuring out how or why Im hurt dont see the value in improvement because they dont accept my instagrams theyre accusing me of making it okay to combine issues or use obesity to accuse me of being guilty and if Im not comfortable spoke wrong become ways to ignore me so I dont exist or get voices and die suicidal. Maybe someone causing me suicide makes me wrong for reporting all his concerns punching my head then decide Im not a victim or deserve to be hurt and not protected or die accusing me of not handling life with my own thoughts writing.