Voices is a difficult subject, and worth publishing a book, based on my experience, with hope for helping someone else struggling in these respects in life. As a person who has suffered from voices, beginning 2017, and hospitalized for self-harm, to me in an unexplained experience in life, that can happen which you are not aware of how its happening, to which no medication or lifestyle or sobriety can prevent, to me the onset of voices is something that you either do or do not encounter in life, in which you do not have an immediate solution for, that can cause an extreme amount of distress and disability, or result in harm to yourself, as a person suffering who cannot prevent a condition from occurring, never explained to you, with no experience with, and to not have a solution for preventing voices, or scientific or medical explanation for its occurrence, and I feel like it continues to be looked at in that way, shouldn’t happen to people, doesn’t happen to people, a scary subject feared, and something you can be treated for that goes away, and comes back, without knowing why, to which no meds can prevent from occurring. To me that’s the uncurable aspect of “schizophrenia” something you suffer from with no cure, that won’t go away, that is considered only occurring within you, that is called genetic or a disease that you suffer from, and to me the diagnosis of schizophrenia or onset or discussion of voices, has not been met with sympathy and comfort, or peace, to me if my experiences or honesty and description of voices, is something that is used to cause chaos toward me, upset, anger, resentment, distrust, or makes people think Im mentally ill, then although difficult to represent myself and figure out the causes and reasons for it, do my best to stay well, and am being truthful that 4 hospitalizations, 2009, 2011, 2013, 2014 were due to not feeling well, unstable, while I was on medicine “shots” to address bipolar and seeing a psychiatrist and went to the ER for a psychiatric evaluation in which a decision  is made in the ER, whether to put you on a psychiatric hold for 2 weeks and stay in the hospital or make a decision for you to go home, and that it has been my experience hospitalized that Im tired, lethargic, sleep for two weeks, have difficulty attending groups, am not high functioning, and that it takes awhile to resume normalcy and be allowed to go home, upon which continued care attendance in an IOP program or therapy is recommended and now common, following hospitalization so that you are in a support group, so that you improve and learn skills for coping with your diagnosis or mental health issues, in an environment that is private, in which you do not judge, are not judged, and do not talk about who you are a patient with, and to which your privacy is also respected. I think online, although it’s been positive for the most part, and recently become very combative and difficult for me to continue doing well and blog online, and have a feeling it’s about my discussions of voices, struggles, and how voices are interpreted to mean there is something wrong with me, or how negative terms are used to justify or determine that there is something wrong with me that is the cause for voices, meaning an unstated view that voices mean that I have done something wrong to myself or another or a belief that voices represent actual people or circumstances made real either by disclosure or mention whether in a permanent way damaging to me, illustrates a need or argument that if you get voices, means you can be viewed as offensive, and if you get voices, that can be viewed as reflecting something that you have done wrong or negative terms that you don’t say which can be heard intended to reflect something true or relevant or having to do with your diagnosis, sense of being, life, interaction, or come to mean some truth about who you are as a person, to expose, either through reporting the condition, or via bullying or fan site, that suggests that you are suffering from a condition not deserving of peace, or suffering from a condition, that is your own fault or a result of there being something wrong with you known, or seen, or proven true about you and exposed, to not see you as a victim of bullying, or suffering being made to punch your head to stop voices, but the continued suffering viewed as a continued criticism of your reflection of what voices are and what they represent in a way that illustrates solution for the difficulties encountered by repetition of negative terms, throughout one’s recovery, be so determined or mentioned or to not continue discussion or fighting voices and suffer dysfunction or self-harm, is a question of writing or not writing, or what is the symptom difficult with no cure, which I have done my best to report, and battling in private, without making everyone think that Im offensive, or underserving of respect. I think if you are being fought and viewed as offensive, and if a fan site is being used to reinforce a belief that you are offensive, or have said something wrong to which you are no longer treated as human being and open entitlement or drive to hurt me or cause continued suffering, then that’s a fight directed toward me, which I cannot prevent, and also how discontinued mention of voices, and hurtful terms, is no excuse to explain for any bad happening period, or a result of poor decision or avoidance or consider mental health, something disclosed and openly discussed, that is suddenly turned into something you prosecute a person for and decide that the voices they get represent actual people or a form of punishment made public of a person, to designate them as offensive or having victims, to which there is no solution or writing to console, speak for who believes they have been victimized by my life or discussions online, and in what way does the publication of negative terms and repetition of negative voices, incite what kind of reactions toward me, I think if you call someone offensive “pervert” this incites anger toward a person, any human being, who you accuse of being a reject or having an unwanted presence or sexuality that you consider to be the source of an offense or a hurt, use a diagnosis to justify the existence of voices as representing actual victims, who you would then accuse me of hearing voices, or not have experienced a legitimate suffering in life medical unproven not court related, that you would then decide to accuse me or force others to believe that I have harmed someone, and to not regard me as a person who is innocent or harmed, is how a fan site can be used as an example of a person who met me or loved me, who is hurt by me in some way for not performing, modeling, or staying well, to which my popularity as a blogger, is then used to encourage voices to continue and to continue to give me a hard time for not having an articulated solution for voices, that shows that I am not offending anyone, I am no a pervert, I am not at fault, I am not offensive or inappropriate, I am not unimpressive sad or guilty, and I am not mentally ill, I think a decision to blame me or punish me for a fan site made, or the constant repetition of negative terms, is about figuring out what is empowering or justice served by forcing discussion of a battle non existing which is then caused to exist through mention or discussion that causes me or other discomfort, would be how are voices and a fan site being used to call someone offensive and wrongfully prosecute them for crimes they have not committed something relevant or not relevant viewed by 8 million people damaging to me, or illustrate something happening to me in life, that a worry for content created in a film, should mean my feelings or memory or issues are inappropriate or sick. What Ive learned from bullying and wrongful prosecution, and from what I believe negative terms or hate represents is an actual anger toward me as a human being or woman, who that if I do not explain or prevent myself from being harmed or report that either a person will continue to hurt me outside of court and consider his actions justified based on his hurt, that I will lose support, and that voices will continue relevant and of issue to whats said on a fan site, and that harm to me will continued as justified and that a further belief in the purpose for labeling me an offender is with the purpose to make my life difficult so that Im not allowed to stay well, out of a changed disrespect for me, or support of a hate website however that support or belief is created, to situate me as a person who suffers that is my own fault, to not credit my analysis of voices, or time spent with no voices, compared to periods with voices, as sufficient or accurate enough to illustrate how I am helping others, and to make relevant the issue of negative terms and bullying, as something existing that’s viewed as my fault, to justify an anger or disgust or negative terms as ways to create problems for me mental health wise, that I am not empathized with or supported for, such as self harm, therapy, AA sobriety, emailing court, or calling the police or reporting, is how it can be determined that now a problem exists complicated for voices in which a solution has not been found, a disappointment continues, no one person made stronger, in which fighting me, has resulting in harm to me, to which no discussion of voices or level of difficulty or emergency or time away from writing is respected as occurring as a result of hearing negative terms, and to not blame my sobriety or writing, or writing breaks, on causes for assassination or any mass shooting, consider a job poor timing, or writing online, not dangerous in terms of how I can be hurt misidentified as offensive, not to mention how race religion and sexuality can be used to cause harm to me, or misdirect anger or upsets toward me, are not all the ways that I should be made to suffer or make a fan site an okay subject or be punished for not continuing to check and work on take down requests and be allowed to start a job, only means that if I continue to suffer from voices, and do my best to discuss and represent to the best of my ability who those voices are with respect for the CIA (who has lost agents, with knowledge that places of intelligence or relied upon positions of authority to solve or distinguish things in a timely manner or with concern for my private spaces computer phone and sense of organization and publishing standards, to mean that neither I am damaged or hurt or hard to look at read witness follow along diagnosis view a timeline is not inhibited or prevented by me from study, and that there is nothing difficult or not making sense about my writing or my story that would require investigation of me, or negative terms that should be used to justify any unwanted treatments of me via tech or to my person or mental health) is probably something that can be prevented by allowing me to figure out the issues and causes for voices, without getting hurt or disturbing anyones peace or attentions in life, be made to care about someone me, or not care about someone him, or use for the basis of better decision making or what types of voices are heard, not be hurt or suggest that there is solution found in hurting me, that serves as a justice to who you believe I am not included among or qualified to be liked or a feminine online, decide to change me or accuse me of being something I am not in writing online, are all the ways that I could have been possibly destroyed or made mentally ill or suicidal or punished for not speaking correctly or in a place of peace or reflection that brings solution, are all the ways I have been hurt which I have since decided to not make a big deal over any investigator helping me, until my mental health is not used to blame me or call me mentally ill or say anything is my fault, is a very serious subject, which Im sure has no solution, if you consider disabling me or suffering a justice, or unhappy by moving on or working or improving see that as a fight, its hard to stay well, if anything is fighting you, or if you keep being hurt, as to how another feels they have been represented in life, and I don’t think I have ever failed to not blame anyone or report anyone period, keep to myself, and have always dealt with mental health as something I struggle with to improve to get to be apart of. I think court represents seeing the positive in others, and not punishing people who negative terms or viewpoints, lack of sympathy or respect for me, I think in all the ways Ive been harmed that’s been considered a form of punishment that reflects not being respected as an author or blogger and by touching my private spaces a way to make me uncomfortable or feel violated or feel like something is wrong, and disturb my peace and sense of stability and Im assuming that was the purpose of hacking, or non admission to causing me harm. To me because of mental health issues, there is really nothing that I can prove or explain that is real or explanation for voices, or lawsuit that can undo or explain for an anger or hate caused toward me, preventing me from perfoming online or writing, and clearly no continued discussion a solution or complication Im enduring requiring thinking and writing and time to overcome that Im respected for going to therapy or what the points of discussion are. To me seeing the good in others and others not being harmed, or out of harmed way, and no suffering like me, or getting hurt, is the solution, I think court is a place you are either well enough to attend or not well enough to attend, and is up to you to stay well and do your best, to earn privileges in life to be helped, I consider any loss, mass shooting, assassination attempt, homicide, crime, or trauma, a devastation that is never easy to discuss and a difficulty that our Country has endured, which I m doing my best to not add to that trauma or be a cause for any devastation or be accused of having an unwanted presence or attention in life offensive. I do take my life very seriously, and its unfortunate to be helped or make phone calls and need help, but please understand that the solution for everyone is to be at peace not harmed, to enjoy life, not look bad, not be made to care for people who don’t deserve to be cared for, not get hurt by people you are told to not trust or wrongfully accused of being offensive, and to continue to see the value in film and music for what it represents, rather deciding for punishments of me, to make everyone hate me or be angry with me or blame me, is maybe not the truth or solution for anyones trauma, or doing a justice to get hurt, or be ridiculed for reporting. I think a heightened awareness for something being wrong, can be prompted by someone not feeling well, such as myself, I think a likelihood or things working out can be supported by hard work and effort adds to reassurance of things getting better, by being strong, and not giving up, I think mistakes are ways you can be punished made to look bad and not be empathized with that makes dating and socialization unsafe meaning can be hurt or not well enough for sexual activity or dating, based on negative terms, and I think a solution can be found by not getting hurt, or punished outside of court, or use any of my information wrongfully to injure me or wrongfully accuse me of doing anything wrong, is not doing a justice, to either see my Instagram know who I am or get voices, and not know who I am, I think there is a very serious problem with getting sick and being blamed, and for no one to be able to help me, and to take away my ability to figure out whats wrong or make things better, is not a type of losing or burial or circumstances or issues or placement in life low or down to represent the deceased in a way, that my 10 hospitalizations does not account for a condition of disability not of my own making, and not telling of a future concern, or make a difficult and complicated subject out of mental health that requires me to be punished or disabled for a solution to be reached, I think there is peace in quality and improvement and no blame others or leave others with problems, doing the work so others don’t have to start with nothing, or be viewed as wrong and believe for a solution to be found, not by what creates voices or who they represent, but to witness court or police as people strong enough to determine the issue without causing unreasonable suffering and dilemma or elevation of issues and stress and fear and chaos and illness and dilemma or loss, as to me, for solution, so please understand my difficulty working alone and not talking to anyone and being fought, and in the best way possible continuing to work toward solution and not allow for blame disrespect, voices, and bullying, is how hard you should work in life to stay well.