Everyone comes into your life for a reason, whether you know it in the immediate, trust the process of improvement, and hope for better interactions in the future. Its when things are going well, that sometimes the dangers associated with being at the bottom of the loop in life, creep back up as opportunity to rearrange your life, in coordination to someone else’s beliefs about you. In life, you are as you present yourself, and no one can change that about you, not even my therapist today telling me that Im not schizophrenic, but ultimately who is in control of what others think. I think how others think and feel is a product of how you are thinking and feeling, and if someone is hurting you, that’s intended to hurt you in a way that others can tell. And that’s being hurt, it’s been my experience that you are convinced that you have done something wrong, you are convinced that you are hurtful, you are subjected to a person spreading rumor trying to get everyone to think something of you, and that’s not a imagined situation that’s whats going on for me right now. I think life at most should be bearable, I think to any extreme that life has gotten so serious, that even me with a heart condition, would complain, then maybe that type of pain isn’t justified, maybe to extremes people should not hate me or be convinced to dislike me. It’s nothing I have to forget put up or take down or can’t remember, it’s the reaction as proof of the existence of what standing between me and my ability to stay well, a false reality, or a wall of unfavorable consequneces to me, in the end how is wellness prevented, if the inevitable cannot be prevented, and people are not protected but harmed by rumor and exposures, how is this situation analogous to a racist interpretation of evolution, medicine, and disease. Whats hard to comprehend is why would someone in private spaces be nice or send gifts, but in public spaces be mean, and why as a consequence of rumor should I be getting text messages from people checking on me to make sure Im okay, if I take a break from blogging or close all my accounts. To me that’s unnecessary worry and unnecessary circumstance to otherwise be doing well as a writer online, be hurt in a way, that my stats or popularity changes isn’t an experiment, people don’t come come back, being online is not for forgiveness, people can’t afford to be hurt, in the end you get one chance of meeting people and for decisions and judgments to be made based upon looking you, you don’t get to meet the world twice, you don’t get to talk past hurting anyone, and you don’t get to live life, if you are being fought, there is no imaginary war comparable to the world war, that I would designate mental health self harm or voices, as contributing to or having anything to do with an existing war. I think the solution for finding common ground in terms of mental health and what types of outlooks and influences people would prefer for people to know and associate to, is a matter of being able to, so getting the Secretary of State’s approval for my company name, is making sure no one is harmed.