Don’t live in defiance that’s definitely not the solution. I drove and I am writing in the jurisdiction of the pen pal who sued me in reference to a distressed phone call to OC Sheriff discussing my views what’s been difficult and how I feel about court anything else interpretation wise can’t solve what can be fixed by simply writing in public or calling to report how you are feeling. I may not have an explanation for all mental health issues but I am doing my best have recovered been on meds have experience health wise to know my limits and when to keep going but I don’t recommend living life in defiance. Being strong is about empowering others I don’t think it’s the solution to live life strong or be alone or be blamed to me there’s no solution for blame. Part of the problem in discussion of voices is how I get hurt and while that’s not a comedy I wonder what is if I’m not making life harder interpretation wise I wonder to what extent my health and outlook matters in terms of the big picture. Once it’s a fight it’s hard to solve voices I think if the fighting is about losses, death, homocide, rape, politics, drugs, alcohol, court, lawsuit, harassment, all of those issues can be addressed in my blog worth out driving me nuts making fun of my own inability to keep center level headed on my own I’m not a celebrity so be appreciative of who is without discounting my purpose in life or question my strength. 

Hopefully writing from OC serves as a reminder to work hard, show up, not be punished, do your best, seek treatment, stay sober, be well adjustment, get a job, live a life with purpose in which you are not self harming and not causing harm to others that I don’t think a hospital can solve what a change in numbers or diagnosis means in terms of my future my fate my life expectancy I wouldn’t shorten my life beyond repair or live a life to be shortened to explain for what life is or is not about, and to extremes be punished not knowing my own innocence or value in strengthening another when trust is a big issue court can help with that however based on my writing court cannot help with who should be bothered or in control of others or what other people say I’m not responsible for everything that life is about or how people see things all I have to do is do my best. 

In knowing me hopefully you’ve witnessed emergency, hostility, mistake, court, gender issues, weight gain and loss, comparisons, stability, instability, in the end I can’t afford to get hurt based on an interpretation of what I’ve said use that as a basis for lawsuit that’s not why I’ve been sued for my writing it’s strictly having to do with mental health and not being allowed to talk to anyone whatever that means to whichever movement I’m not criticizing a concern female or male or using derogatory slang to disrespect anyone’s story ultimately based on who I am people seem to wonder on what basis am I attacked or bullied question what I look like and the general concern would be to not demonstrate a people type or disposition that would subject or lessen anyone’s chances in life and by being here to accept my place in life and limitations no matter how I’m observed or how timelines are interpreted I’m sure I’m not a coward or see people as small or stupid, I can’t instantly coordinate drives or control time or the CHP or be quick enough to speak in court know how the world looks overall according to everything they’re examining but that doesn’t mean give me or punish me because I’m losing my mind in private having trouble talking and look bad or going nuts however it occurs that my head should explode clearly the exact opposite of appreciating my timely reports information in writing at this stage in my development is unclear why I am stopped why I am prevented in the end I’m working hard to prevent someone from harming me who I don’t expect anyone to hire poorly in the end if it’s a fight choosing to be alone for the rest of my life and handling the seriousness of determining who’s helping who or harming who means to stay home and not be in contact with anyone. Life is far too difficult to live life not liked disliked bullied or can’t work I don’t think I deserve to be forced to write online and be disrespected and by the tone I’m hurt is when anything stops voices or torment I wonder what the justice is being served by causing me sickness or what example is sought to be made so my life doesn’t work out or happen for me on what scale have my identified explanations of issues not been good enough that it’s sought to reverse everything I’ve said or who I am steal my identity or shoes in life lose yo terms lawsuits and people I wonder what have I ever done so wrong in life that k should be punished or forced to explode alcohol or no alcohol job or no job to what extremes is a justice being served hurting me and k wonder for how long should k be hurt before a justice is served and why does stopping me ruining my life accuse me being beneath or rock bottom accuse me of causing death I’m not so ugly violent I or bad that anyone has to look away I never asked to be alive called negative terms I’ve done my best to stay alive work hard be accepted there’s only for so long you can push yourself he online or any number of ways you can be hurt before you are made to give up and to me what should I surrender to or for or be exposed confess to or be wrong with me to do a justice why do I have to change or be fought or lose everything to solve anything I want to know why I’m given a hard time not allowed to work or forced to blog or not given time to improve or go to therapy.