Speaking wrong feels like an repeated pattern of becoming what your called a condition you can’t snap out of it’s like the reverse of rising above once in ever way you improve a reminder is sought called mental illness self harm and suicide to remind you of what rock bottom feels like I think in life you are constantly reminded to recognize your own humanity what being alive means and not take on too much be pushed over edges in life to snap into something you can’t come back from like illness or suicide or sounding mean or letting any voice win or side against you that would be a hard life to live if you think I’m angry racist or sexist or mean or perverted or homocidal I would wonder how much longer can I stay alive called this and rise up and got a high paying job and while that remedied the immediate dangers of rumor being spread about me it’s caused me to wonder why should I have sex use my peace disturb my peace take from me to have nothing I wonder is a justice to whom I’m life sometimes I feel like voices mental health or disability is a punishment grateful to improve then taken away sent down again to start life all over again being nothing or nobody you wonder sometimes how low do you need to be put in life before you actually end your life and how strong within do you need to be to rise above I’m sorry to extremes this happens to my life working hard recovered to a mess and really have no one to blame for giving up if voices can’t be proven persist I know I deserve a life I don’t deserve to be poor stuck at home or called negative terms I know I’m not offensive mean a nice person and survived court pleased with my progress. While I may not be able to explain what makes me snap or drink by this hate website flip out go nuts punch my head call the police maybe that’s a new condition of being bullied or people talking shit about you. I wouldn’t want to live life if everyone you meet is protected except for you and no one remembers you or cares or loves me let my life be shortened by negativity or lose everything to rumor or insult I don’t think anyone deserves to bring me down to feel good and that’s a sad subject about life.