I’ve been going through a lot I’ve been trying to return to blogging after being in treatment for a year it’s been difficult the times are not always the best. I’m too late or responsible for anything bad happening I’ve been in court for two years writing my brains out to my attorney sending emails life isn’t a joke cover up or facade either your innover or guilty well or sick recovered or schizophrenic I did my best to be honest. I was open about being bothered I’ve expressed several times hurtful words unhelpful to me have been open about self harm voices not self harming. Be reminded person is still bothering me his timing is not my timing his needs are not even I’m able my success is too late to reverse his rumor, I did my best nothings a joke taken lightly if it’s too late he’s nice now and I’m not talking to an investigator I had options to block him to every extreme him being hard on me talking $hit about me and going nuts punching my head can’t speak talking to police isn’t a boxing joke in honor of anyone my life isn’t a joke I’m not meant to be destroyed excluded or let anyone be angry with me I’ve suffered long enough not bothered anyone maybe you have to accept whether this person is mean or nice accept he said very mean things is why I don’t want to model not entering his sexual fantasy and hacking going through all my stuff reading all conversations. I’m sorry it’s hard for voices to understand why a hate website disabled me for 4 years and forces my blog to be taken down I’m sorry you think I’m trash or mentally ill or think it’s okay like everyone calls people that I don’t have anger or jealousy toward women or people who say that word all I said is it hurts my feelings and isn’t true no experience in life justifies calling me mean or sick toward any woman I don’t deserve punishment stop using the entire world and famous people to make up some code you exclude me from let this person talk to everyone about me that’s not love and togetherness burn me out push me use up my time require constant communication. Overload me blogging isn’t going to stop voices an attorney isn’t going to stop schizophrenia or therapy I don’t know how many times I have to say I’ve been hurt or expect me to be normal act like nothings a big deal before you just let me be alone accept a break or disconcerting activities whatever the reason is I’m not a TV show stop studying my photos stop making fun of me stop calling me names stop blaming me me stop using me stop robbing me stop ruining my life stop taking money from me and learn when to focus on everyone else instead of me I don’t need to lose he beat up call me things fight me using a man or woman past as some identity or alias motivation to cause schizophrenia in the end I can’t trust anyone I can’t help everyone I refuse to stay sober I need to take care of myself fix my life and not be called hateful terms defend myself.