Maybe its just me, who works really hard and cant figure out how to make money that doesn’t mean Im not working work of equal value to any story by comparison, that’s where I think I am misunderstood, in terms of what getting my first jobs paid in law represent, the equivalent effort and years invested in my legal education to be permitted to work in the legal profession, something I worked hard for alongside my mental health.

When I think of cases and celebrity cases, and compare my success online, and the amount concern and worry and distrust that results from a misdiagnosis, such as schizohphrenia, the issue is not me or question my strength or disability, the issue is to acknowledge my honesty while enduring a treatment, and to accept how I have been mistreated as a result of a disgnosis or lawsuit (which has since been dismissed on good terms with the court and the DA in OC).

What I would like to focus on on my blog, in an actual real factually concerned why minus philosophies or open interpretation, it’s serous to discuss voices and crime on a level that reduces fear and minimizes risk. I don’t need a Masters degree or a Campaign or report which modules Im taking on CITI Research, to know if Im being harmed and if that harm is causing me mental illness, and shouting, that doesn’t make me racist or wrong or mentally ill.

The issue is how is my story, arguments, grounds, purpose in life, job placement ability, blogging career, analytics, name, or other people or mental health records being used against me to convince me or others that I should be disabled for the rest of my life, or continue treatment past the point of rehabilitating improving and getting job.

I wonder what is treatment for, if Im 20 years sober and stopped taking adderrall for a heart condition, I want to know what is the addiction that Im being punished for, a doctor at UCLA told me that taking extra adderrall to go running for longer, once a month, was not enough to be sent to a rehab.

So always leave room for wonder, maybe I am famous, maybe I am known, maybe I am respected, maybe I am smart, maybe I am sober, maybe I did work hard living the best years of my life, and don’t deserve to have my life shortened by words, or negative terminonlogy or diagnosis.

I think Ive done my best to speak normal online, and Im sorry if in any event, based on hurtful words my life is shortened to accuse me someone who hits my own head of hurting anyone, with no one in my life for now more than 12 years, stay away from people, doesn’t make sense to me, why on any level or through blogging, be mistreated or make any jokes.

I take myself seriously, and others, so therefore no matter what anyone else says or thinks about me, its important that I believe in myself, and I stay sober for myself, and I do whatever is necessary to cure a disease and condition harmful to my health called voices, and not be called hateful terms.

Sometimes someone needs to get hurt and lose everything and end up in the ER for people to stop, on a level that they appreciate good writing, free analysis and support composed by me, to not compare me to a doctor or an attorney, try to unrefine me, compare me, or demote me in life, that’s not fair, no one life, sexuality, or mental health has the right to sue me wrongfully accuse me of doing anything to them mentally or to their life their finances or their health.

Ive been through enough, as a patient, its not fair to me, based on who I am I don’t talk to anyone, Im not social, I either do or do not have friends, date or do not date, to be trusted and not questioned, and not be accused of a sickness, within me, or on my face, in my brain, or in my bloodstream is too extreme of an insult after being a writer for so many years, don’t accuse me of not being sober or doing drugs that’s so insulting and so derogatory, and so inhumane and disrespectful to not acknowledge that Im smart hardworking, that my stats are real, make jokes about me harming others, or make threats in regards to accusing me of being hurtful toward anyone.

On that note Ive given up reconnecting or attending meetings, if the world is selfish, and doesn’t know me, and if Im not famous, then I don’t need to stay sober, my mental health doesn’t matter, you think Im mentally ill so I drank until I sounded mentally ill, and court was dismissed, means what is attacking me or hurting me, if not my writing or people who you see as normal and proud of, what makes me different or sick compared to a drug addict or alcoholic who recovers, why am I not entitled to same recovery punished.