I’m sorry to be misunderstood or to have been sued based on my condition, being on meds, and having a medical history that’s not an excuse to accuse me of harassment, or to fight me, or to make fun of my mental health, or call me names, or make fun of my story. If its not clear Im writing two books, that are already written, and will not include any details from life, talk about people, or anyone I have met, not mention lawsuit in a way to which I’ve not explained and demonstrated how Ive improved and what I have learned in the process. The hostility is not toward my audience, I cannot prove voices, I cannot prove to anyone what the lawsuit was about, because Im not talking to the other side, and I don’t need anyone to explain to me, whats wrong with me, all I have to do is stay well, and be mindful of my mental health, and is why I am not close to people, or did my best to seek treatment, and attend meetings, Ive been trying to stay sober for over a year now, there was no reason to drink but for voices, and have marked my calender consistently every new start date, and had been attending meetings, so this blog is not about talking about dirty subjects, or ruining my life, or defending myself, against voices that don’t exist, that convince a reader is true, is to my detriment, and a reason to not be online, due to mental health issues, its been advised against.

I blog out of the goodness of my heart because I care and those are my strengths in writing and being a student, at some point along my journey, I went from having a full time job and functioning 8 hours a day and awake and to bed on time for about two weeks, before my mental health was derailed by voices, and from writing on Instagram, and that is how I believe I lost my job and what affected my performance at work, getting voices, taking meds as prescribed, and also awaiting for my next court date, working toward, having my case dismissed. I never thought that in telling my story on Instagram squares, or by having interactions with anyone, that I would be sued, or be continued to be sued, or be sued by “The People” or be convinced that a DA is bringing me to court for anything other than mental health issues. I feel shocked and saddened, that instead of accepting my disability and risks of blogging online, with respect to my story and mental health, to face problems discussing my interactions in a way that I would be judged negatively. And these are my relationships, this is my life, this is my audience, these are my problems, this is my life, this is my innocence. So please respect if Im writing to voices, Im not writing to my audience, or hurting anyone with the same condition as me, trying to have the same conversation with voices, as directed toward them, fighting the same battles in life, not bringing anyone down, or have a failed unsuccessful perspective in life, you will know when I publish my books, how good of a writer I am, until then please accept court and thousands of emails sent to my Attorney over and two year period, is sufficient to have a conversation with anyone about everything as a whole, Ive not avoided or failed to assemble or have not been talking to the public for 6 years everyday, makes no sense for me to be anywhere advanced, or preventing the advancement of anyone else in life, thought wise.

Please accept who I have chosen to love in life, please respect who I did love in life, please respect my story, my sexuality, my memberships, and let’s not overbroadcast what court is about discussing death, dying, shootings, and crime, alongside my blog, as though Ive not lived through the same experiences as everyone else, not telling anyone of, when I focus on myself, that means its about me, its not about you. When Im having mental health issues, its about me (voices) its not about you. When I am battling something legally that I cannot see or is not communicated to me, then I am trying to figure out what court is about and trying to solve that by writing to my Attorney. Therefore its not helpful to write online, or by word or subject matter, face harsh scrutiny, in terms of the public as a whole who supports celebrities, people from their life, well known people of success, paid employees, and politicians, for addressing their needs, instead of getting voices, which Ive interpreted many times before and will continue to occur so long as there is controversy toward me, so long as fan/hate website is up, so long as Im in court, or so long as mental health is of issue, I can’t tell you as an audience member what entitles you to tell me to not blog, what entitles you to blame me, what entitles you to think Im coding, what entitles you to think anything else is about me, or to question my own humanity and views spiritually about God and what court is, we all have our own voices in life that communicate with us, some are not diagnosed because of their voices or internal communications however I was someone punished for reporting the condition that I was suffering from alongside self-harm. The experience of self-harm is not helpful at this point to discuss or my mental health, nor do I expect you to be impressed, or to read or be invested in my recovery when I can barely write and all over the place and don’t make sense, that for sure will not prevent voices. What will prevent voices, will be writing everyday, what will prevent bullying is modeling selfies and nude modeling for a 70 year old. Sometimes you just have to accept the extravagance of the accusation, while Im in actual court as a judgment is made on whether to let me move on, work, have a life, be sober, earn a living, move forward, or be punished, and that’s not my ideal setting being put in jail for being on medications for 12 years and going to the hospital or for text messaging or a messenger relationship, and its really hurtful and not really something that I want to be punished for who I choose to love or express love toward some thing you have to accept in life, who I choose to admire, trust, or engage in sexual relations with, by myself, is really not about calling me some naked masturbating pervert exposing myself, Im not exposing anything that everyone knows, or everything that secret in life everyone has their own lives, this blog is intended to help others, Ive outlined several times blog posts and made pages that specifically outlined my goals in life and purpose online, and have earned a following on numerous occasions. Im sorry for discussing race, world war 3, previous deals in the news I wrote quotes for, bringing up sex or rape or age or gender or body image issues, Im sorry to disclose about self-injury or self-harm I recovered from 2021, and now is occurring again 2024, or for the heart condition I have now.

To no extreme is everything going to be solved in one post, going to help everyone instantly or prevent whatever is causing voices. Adderrall is not causing voices, I explained a hate website is causing voices, I explained to not make true or use a hate website to create content elsewhere and specifically identified how the consequences could be deadly and have specifically reported to those deadly consequences who I am and reported what was written about me, means that Im not a bad person, Im not homicidal, Im allowed to get mental illness and go nuts if someone is threatening me and causing me suicide. You already know me: insult, voice, hit my head, insult, voice, threaten, cause me suicide. The pattern is very simple, Im not on imdb and I didn’t make a music campaign for anything to be made in hate, I am the one who explained to not pass the hurt or put the hurt in everything, Ive explained Im not God, I explained how to focus on the details in the currency and to focus on the law and actual companies that are earning money, for knowing what types of expressions and coding is permissible and wanted by everyone. Never did I think that my success would be used to hurt me, and say Im in everything, or hurt everyone, or am hurt or that hurts anyone, I think Im human enough to know how to keep myself alive and taker meds recover take it easy not push myself to extremes, take it one day at a time, manage my finances and weight, and know what my memberships are for, it was to my understanding that after Invega, and getting paid jobs, losing weight, finishing court, doing well on my blog, and after publishing books, that I would be in a strong enough condition one day, to be known on paper, be an author, I never scolded anyone, or brought up any subject fighting, please respect that if youre blaming me or judging my fear of using wrongful death or any death to blame me or to cause me death does not mean that I am guilty or that the court is punishing me, or that there is anything on me mean or violent toward anyone, or need immunity, or the police to help me beyond physical and mental health standards. I know that Im strong enough to be alive, Im not living life exposing anyone or myself, Im not homicidal, Im not a pervert, Im not gay, Im a woman, I have love, this is my job, and why Im alive because Im writing. If I don’t write, I suffer and get voices, and stuck in bed, and can’t move. And when I cant move and suffering on meds, then I get voices that are angry with me, for lack of movement, or lack of productivity, it’s the same frustration everyone has, when they cant do something or are prevented from doing something they love to do, running, writing, and reading.