Watching a Yellowstone marathon on Paramount today, the season finale is tonight at 8pm. I heard about the show, overhearing my Supervising Attorney, having a conversation with someone else on the phone about watching his favorite tv-show, Yellowstone. Which happened to be on TV today, so Ive been watching all the episodes since this morning back to back, and it’s becoming more and more relevant, to life, if we could save more lives than lives lost, you would wonder what can be done. However by today’s intellectual standards, instead of valuing time as it is, this advancement technology wise and wealth, creating this better and better utopia, you wonder whether it would have been good enough to save lives in the past, or whether we are a utopia now because so many lives were lost, there is meaning to what is available for recovery efforts, however unclear limits, on how blame is being used and misassociated, as a form of relief or make a game of immunity, and power, perceiving discontinuation, privilege lost, or court, would intimidate a person like me, to discontinue living life, or prevent me from talking or opening up and helping others. They can’t.

Im going to meet the Judge to my case next week, face to face in person, I have already spent two years in court, and in treatment mandated by a Judge, in order to get “mental health diversion” mental health diversion is instead of a jury trial (which did not prevent me from writing emails to scotus and cc my attorney for 2 years for my own sanity to allow all my information perspective and analysis to be known, including my timeline, my health, whatever it takes to continue to stay well absent threat).

I think the most telling aspect of being who I am, is to fathom the seriousness provoked by the Attorney General (court) threatening me in public, going against me, in a very powerful way intended to scare me or make me feel small, like they don’t know their own strength. Im not the bad guy. Going to court next week, Im hoping that after a year of continued treatment therapy and going to AA meetings, and being on meds, that my case will be dismissed, so there will be nothing on my record. That’s the point of mental health diversion, so that nothing is put on your record.