Edit 12-20-24

I grew up in Brentwood, and attended two prestigious grade schools Kindergarten through 12th Grade, the base of my education. I then went on to College at University of Colorado at Boulder, where I pursued a Psychology degree, and graduated with a Sociology Degree. After writing my Honors Thesis, I graduated with Departmental Honors, Cum Laude. I decided to go to Law School 2006, when I took my first LSAT. I served as the Clerk of Rolls and Secretary of my schools Law Fraternity, and won a Witken Award my second year in Law School, receiving an A in Advanced Legal Writing, the highest grade in my class. After experiencing mental health issues, I decided to leave Law School and pursue an LLM Degree online (MSL, Masters in the Science of Laws), and graduated (Summer 2020). Aside from completing my Legal Education, maintaining sobriety has always been a  necessary step to move forward in life, gain trust, earn privileges, and turn my life around for the better.

I started my sobriety 2003 when I quit smoking weed, and recovered from trying cocaine just before my 21^st birthday (Summer 2006). I have been doing my best to maintain sobriety since 2014, after being hospitalized several times the year I left Law School (2013).

In an effort to make progress I began studying politics watching CSPAN everyday, and decided to pursue a career in blogging (which I thought was tech) built a blog on Twitter and on Weebly. In effort to encourage support and positive awareness for a cause I felt compelled to care for, it made sense regardless of what OJ Simpson was charged for, living my life separately meant it was important for me to care, not be stifled about “what team” I’m supposedly situated or connected to, by best friend, her team.

When I applied for an award,  I was instantly nominated for a Shorty Award, which occurred every year that I applied, so much proof is required to be any kind of advocate, not unless it’s for an organization specifically giving you permission. As a member, after meeting with the President of Brady Campaign LA, I was told to “keep it general” and that was the mode I approached helping others, in terms of how to help without too many repeated hashtags and mentions, there’s a difference between awareness, and being helpful. I am certainly not one to have not experienced how conflicts of interest can so affect you’re ability to stay balanced and in harmony with everything else going on in life, it’s never necessary to take chances by over mentioning a subject. I have performed the best when I am focusing on my writing, and life advice, focused on my own health, and always one to update everyone on my progress, school or court house.

Pitching an idea for a website was the first premature effort I made to network and share my ideas with others, maybe not to my benefit in the long run. Sometimes putting an idea together takes time. It’s not something that happens for you in an instant, to visualize where you see yourself in the future, if not with a career in law, then how did choosing to become so invested in this hobby called blogging, change my life for the better, or just complicate my life even more in the eyes of others.

To me blogging was how I was able to provide advocacy to all following the turmoil and trauma suffered by victims of Gun Violence. I started as a writer online, writing self-help quotes (my first hashtag on Facebook earned 90k views), my Twitter informed me that my audience included those in the Entertainment Industry, working Professionals, who I always believed had the talent and emotionally equipped to create and provide care to those in need. I’ve attended one movie premiere with my best friend, as a child, and my Godparents were Broadway Musical performers. My second membership was to IMDb, after working in Film.

The year I left law school, was the same year I attended a US Supreme Court hearing (January 2013), in the middle of a National Crisis, to which I don’t think everyone was aware of the organizations existing. I was informed of one, Brady, which was recommended to me as an option for Internship in DC. At the time I  was accepted to an Internship DC Law Students in Court, however Summer 2011, instead of moving to DC for the Summer and finishing my final exams I ended up in the hospital, and due to that instability, I was forced to attend a rehab and taken off all meds, and discontinued alcohol. That’s when I started attending AA meetings in Santa Monica (2011).

Meeting the US Supreme Court is a privilege, maybe not a newsworthy experience, that my success blogging can make sense to the public, but I did speak to Justice Scalia on Twitter, who recommended that I get him more followers, so it was a fun goal to start with, figuring out how to get Followers, as an internship work assignment sent from a Justice Scalia account. Who is probably the later inspiration for sticking to something that makes sense for me, even if at this point sad he is no longer here. Meeting the US Supreme Court there was an appropriate silence in the room. I have to keep reminding myself that I was doing well in Law School at the time, it was my choice to leave in the middle of school shootings, and I know I was sober had attended treatment years before, my school allowed me to take medical leaves, and that I was fit to travel and to document my stay in DC no matter how those recordings were later interpreted, there wasn’t a single thing wrong about my taking time off Law School. I even spoke to my Dean in his office before I left, before making my decision to fly to DC, a town a year or so prior I was accepted to an Internship I was not permitted to attend sent to rehab instead.

Visiting was a good experience, but unfortunately visiting cannot protect me from harm, nor can my government work experience, or anyone in the event I get in trouble, or am sued, or punished, those are incidences and conditions now considered by fault, to which a firm belief has been to examine my mental health, even by Attorneys who don’t even know me, accuse me of “mental illness.” What’s so upsetting about telling my story whether by messages, replies, or out in the open online, the same fact remains that: not unless a book is published can a proper memorialization of the lives lost, with respect to everyone who is working hard to contribute in a positive way, can attest to the 12 years spent after leaving law school to continue my education, continue to seek treatment without needing to be forced into treatment, or be punished and called negative terms or allow for my life to be ruined by lawsuit or any communication with the police or medical professionals.

Getting a job and continuing my career is to function in reality as a person who is accepted by the public who can be credited for their hard work and discipline in a way that it can be proven, they applied, were interviewed, and accepted to perform in a job, and that proof of performing in a job, is for the purposes of living a good life. It’s not to defend myself or trying to prove anyone wrong, in regards to my mental health, or change any public opinion of me. However a lawsuit is believed to represent some bigger issue, that I don’t believe that I should be accused of, especially in regards to mental health issues, as someone who lives alone and keeps to herself has lived alone 2004-2017 been independent her whole life. It came as a shock to be accused of harassment as though my history of hospitalizations and my own struggle is something that I would be accused in public as affecting others or require lawsuit. You would never think after viewing my resume and after reading my Honor Thesis considerate of the health of others, time and attention, friendships, and love, that suddenly it would be something I would just have to accept or deal with for the rest of my life.

I think if I am the kind of person who cannot share their story in private, then maybe it’s best to share my story in a book, that can show the best professional presentation of who I am, the life I have lived, and the life I deserve to live in life. Most things in life are for the public’s approval. I am no different writing and publishing a book. Nothing makes my story less of a success, or of lesser value, or become so known that a book would become unnecessary. I think getting in trouble every time I talk to someone and open up means the best approach to talking about life, and being known by anyone is to become someone who is valued, who is successful, who is a public figure, who is known as an author, not allow myself to be punished in life, for things, beyond my own life, or blogging, or writing ability. Makes no sense to me, why I should be convinced I’m mentally ill, and question what type of a public service does that do for society, to start pointing out people and telling everyone, to ignore this person or not talk to this person, life is not about genetics or temperament, or having grown up 2 blocks away from OJ Simpson, on Rockingham, it’s about what people think about you, when visualizing and coming to accept life overall, and still give you that time and with respect, not interfere with your opportunity to be of value and to share something of significance to me, tell my story, instead of being called Schizophrenic. I’m worth more than that diagnosis, I don’t care what has changed about it’s definition online, it’s too late for acceptance, a decision was made as the term was being used to identify people who you reject from society take from think unkindly of or accuse of sickness or spreading sickness and to me that’s not an appropriate estimate of how life is intended to evolve with or without me, question what my purpose in life is, or question the purpose for publishing a book, without now considering how many people can be hurt by convincing people who love me and care about me, to not talk to me, or convince people to ignore me or reject me, is not anything I care to investigate or examine, or expect anyone to understand me or be able to help me. Right now in this moment it’s time for me to help myself. And set the record straight as to who I am, what my influence is, and not allow diagnosis, treatment, or my identity to become some joke that makes other people feel good, not misuse me for joke.

Visiting the US Supreme Court, I recalled being looked at wondering why was that difficult for me, to not be in a place like those smiling at me in the lunch room or looking at anyone else in the room, like I was looked at upon being seated. Today I wonder how has sharing that interaction been used to accuse me of being improper or not belonging in a room of educated and the highest figures in the legal world and in society. Taking notes was something I was told I could do, I was told I can’t bring anything except a notebook and pen to take notes. Maybe it was just being in a different State and did not identify with the other students attending court that day. Looking back, I will never regret what prompted me to take the initiative to provide assistance online, nor am I lying about the White House looking for website ideas, and submitted an idea for them.

Maintaining the mental fitness to help others, is beyond expectation and hope that is expected of you as a law student, no one forces you to help, no guilt, no association or deal can be made that cannot be fulfilled. That’s a choice to become a person who can fulfill the expectations of what is required to memorialize the lives of everyone who cares and who has been there for everyone from the start, including me.

To me applying to the military 2009, and again 2013, was my bravest solution in avoidance of addressing a case that caused much complication and trauma to the lives of those affected, learning at a young age that by doing my best and being the best at everything, is how I got into Law School, later in life I realized that by being strong and that by applying to the military is apart of reaching a solution upon addressing the public in a way, the could understand me, without undermining my experiences in life, or mental health.

To me being “soldier-like” meant running everyday, I even took an exam to join the military and scored in the top percentile, welcomed to attend basic training and be a military paralegal. It seemed like a logical option for me (as Best Female Athlete of Windward’s Class of 2003), however much to my dismay I was ineligible due to being placed on meds. Applying taught me to train hard, running everyday (what I was told basic training consisted of, a lot of running). I ran a half Marathon in Malibu which I completed overweight on meds, is how I achieved a strength I found brought me acceptance as a person, and provided me with a very therapeutic approach to spending my time. I learned how to set goals, train hard to be able to accomplish big goals in life, especially in terms of advocacy (eligible or ineligible due to lawsuit). I know I will never change and will never stop caring just because I’ve been labeled differently.

However that strength has never made any loss not painful period. It was not until I experienced life after losses that I’ve figured out what my privilege is: to be invited into the same room as the US Supreme Court. In my best confident tone: I would never end up somewhere worse to bring anyone down, but I have always believed in self-improvement and know that by doing my best, graduating, getting jobs, becoming wildly successful on Alexa in the top 14,000s websites in the Country, was an incredible experience. Perhaps now is the time to make everyone proud, maybe publishing a book is to acknowledge that this is my best, and it’s okay for me to share my story. Not your typical what have I got to lose story of bravery, but will never stop making the effort to care no matter how difficult it gets. I know my truth, and everyone knows theirs, it’s up to me to fix my life, so that my life can be better and so can the lives of others. I’m sorry that it’s taken such extreme lengths to punish me, over-medicate me, take meds away, bring up alcohol or sobriety, as though these are lessons I’ve not already learned in life in my early 20’s becoming sober and why I was able to decide to go to Law School, because I was fit and sober for 3 years before attending law school (2003-2006). I just hope that I’m not too late. I have had a few experiences as an advocate in the past, and thought that blogging was a good way to help others, and also to further my career as a writer, to everyone’s benefit, at my expense, registered my campaign. I have applied and paid taxes for my pen name MYMOLLYDOLL which was a CA Approved Corporation (2016) (mymollydoll.com) and now a CA Approved LLC (2024) (lesliefischman.com).

I learned that through education the best version of yourself, lies in your work ethic, and ability to maintain focus under pressure, not necessarily based on which occasions you rise to. One should always rise above hate, not fall victim to the ramifications of how hate can be induced in the public to believe differently about you. Just as hate can be induced upon you, by terminology used to denominate you just like a misdiagnosis can ruin your life and devalue your presence in a room. Hate can take a toll on you, no matter how things were intended to evolve and work out, performing proving yourself, be sued, have to prove yourself again without proving anyone wrong, the gravest difficulty in recovery is to accept what voices mean to me, or diagnosis, and to know in my heart that these symptoms are real, and are untrue reflections of who I am as a person, and know that I am worth living a life, free of voices, or any rumor or diagnosis (convincing me that “its genetic, its life long,” and that there is no cure, and means you are inappropriate, or improper). A wrong diagnosis can take a severe toll on how you feel, impact what others think of you, and can cause you self-harm and or suicide, put in the middle of an experiment that fails to describe who you are as a person, not someone who fails who is rejected and told to stay away, but a person who is respected and invited to attend, who stays away from everyone, and is working hard as a writer online, is not someone who deserves to be disabled or is someone doing anything wrong in public.

What is the solution for the public’s well being, if not to eliminate me, and tell me I have a genetic condition accused of having a disease that you accuse me of not managing myself well or taking good care of myself, and give permission to others to attack me and wrongfully accuse me is wrong! To not be appreciated or known, or be made known on a negative basis, isn’t doing a justice for the public, or for my mental health and compliance over the years and honest effort and improvements. Focusing on tasks that oriented me toward a better future for myself, not easily disorganized by the opinions of others, facing adversity as a recovering addict, writing a book has been my primary means for coping, aside from work and school, assembled in part by writing online, in blog posts, shared and now liked.