I think the purpose of improvement and refinement and fitness and applying for jobs, is about being that person, who can be relied upon, able to handle their private life, able to put down one thing, blogging and pick up another line of work, a job in law. Unfortunately due inconsistent sobriety dates, and a loss of following, after publishing posts, post assassination, in an effort to address a serious issue, that affected me, is something that caused me to cry not something that I want to happen, is beyond focus on crediting someone to a change of heart or view a person’s attempted assassination, as related or unrelated circumstance, I should know in the immediate, or punish a timeline of symptoms, or changes in care, or decision to stay on meds, win or lose, about me proving or disproving the origins of voices, whatever the symptoms, require meds, or change in diagnosis, is however I was met, interviewed, viewed, without knowing me or knowing my story background or education, significant to say “misdiagnosis” can later come to mean how a person who does not know you, whether common to treatment centers to take medication away, or differing from treatment in a 5150 hold locked in a hospital provided meds, fails to address what notified me of a major crisis, following my posts, and email to Fox News, was how I addressed disturbed by an analysis of a shooter not yet identified and already defending them and describing the decision to plan, obtain, a death prevented, how should a neighbor report me shouting at the TV, and emailed Fox News, still require explanation, of what mental health crisis posed, by defending someone, or be suspect to why I am sensitive to the use of “mental health” to explain how and why a shooting occurred, the issue is why did I dislike the commentator and why did my neighbor report me shouting. What’s unclear based on a hate website calling me an assassin, and voices pushing me to extremes punching my head, aggravating me at work, acting like job loss is a game about voices, Ive been the only one to explain a variety of solutions working for me, and composed a long research paper on the symptom, am no one suffering convincing anyone else, of a false reality, to which my reaction would be unaccepted as caring, or follower loss respected as making an effort, the issue is (1) what is my fault and (2) how should it relate to my experience with mental health issues and (3) how am I being used to be related to crimes, and if this was not the first non-acceptance of me, using weight loss and gain as relevant to his job type, I want to know what have I said that has prompted anyone to not understand how calling me an assassin is damaging and after months of putting up with someone, who is suddenly doing well now, it’s still important that I continue to discuss who I am, (1) whats my fault (2) how do I self identify with the subject of mental health, weight loss, and voices, in a way, no one is (1) offended and also no one is (2) fighting for me, and for there to not be ridiculed exposure of (I) sensitivity to being blamed, after publishing several posts, bravely stating my opinion of the matter as (II) it could relate to what happened to me (a) had the wrongful accusation been true (b) it matters whether a wrongful accusation is true because that’s related to (a) how Im being used (b) whats coming from me (c) how facts and words in common are being used to (d) mistake my health or heart condition for a loss (e) Lisa Marie Presley, and currently of issue (f) what has made my story devalued or unimportant, if not by voices, or losses, that the sharing of a connection, would now be inappropriate to share any story and be accused similarly of issues in common to who has been prosecuted, to me what’s most important in determining a (1) cause and a (2) fact in common is to determine (3) how am I being used and blamed (4) focus on why should I speak to any take on life as having to do with me, or coming from me, or a loss, and focus on (5) preserving my own innocence, by not allowing my reputation to be tarnished, or my health to fail, or be hurt to hurt everyone, or be blamed for a loss, occurring in treatment, to which upon observation, I was punished and everyone made a decision to send me away, while pushing me for 7 months off meds, made no sense to me, why who I am would ever be accused of not being good enough or an unwanted presence, or a person who fails to make a good impression, or accuse me of having hyper sensitivity to being associated, or having a blog, not sure if Im famous or not, then be punished as though I am famous, I think I always do my best, publishing a book, is not to prevent a system that works for everyone, to figure out how things happen, or who’s fault or connection is related to what has gone wrong, is clearly too late, to accuse me of being mentally ill sober and doing well, to be pushed and complain, and to knowingly decide to push me or punish me, as though Im someone who cant make important decisions for themselves, or decide to continue to force me to live life disabled, as though I can’t handle a joke, or insensitive to losses, or decide that lawsuit means losses are my fault, or accuse me of being a losing team in life, or a contagion, or not as sophisticated mature and having the sense of clarity and appreciation for now, that shows Im deserving of moving forward in life. One of the most important things I can do, upon complication, or difficulty, is to be alone, until I figure out how am I being used to openly blame me, what are my guilts, and figure out whats coming from me, not accuse me of everything on me, is known by everyone, accuse my content as a poor influence on the community, or accuse me of being guilty, is therefore not the solution to make me god, or accuse me of being paranoid, or stupid, can’t tell whats related to me, or accuse me of being underground, or not accepting of others adjusting to me not having been famous yet, not yet a public figure, I wouldn’t say that Im living a life that’s an easy subject for anyone, or interrupting anyones perspective in life, but it is my right to not ruin my life, stay home and figure out my own problems in life, without bothering anyone, is a better solution, than to allow for misinterpretation and maybe that’s doing a justice, but I don’t have to live the rest of my life, that way, or make fun of complaining, or blog post, deemed not good enough, because Ive not yet blamed myself that his comments on a hate website, you accuse me of being a product of what is not said, or represents what everyone thinks, and maybe while that’s settling to everyone, and a joke, it is a big deal, as to how hard Ive worked in life to be able, Im not willing to live life disabled as though my thinking is the problem, forget me trying to figure out everyone, I just need to be alone, and be in control, of how anyone decides to make a god, not accuse me of not being famous, or forgetful, to accuse me of being at fault, pretending to be loved, or messing up, or too much to be around people. What Im currently experiencing mental health wise, is how fighting is preventing voices. Try to focus on accepting what is as coming from what is viewed as a healthy assessment of life based on who that person is, no matter how distantly connected I think it stops being a game, when there is disrespect, or make light of being in a hospital, I think if you cannot accept a text, and do not think Im deserving of help, then I don’t have to utilize resources and work on figuring out why Im being exposed and humiliated and how many times do I need to be hurt, or expected to blame mental health on meds, or make fun of who I talk to, life is not a good place you go back to to be yourself, then forget who you are, or work online, you don’t compose or do well, a place in life that you confuse voices, for reality or everyone nice to you, Im not punishing anyone, its not me critical of others, or unforgiving, the lesson is handle insult in stride, to accept rejection as not being watched to make fun of my phone calls or how I am choosing to help others, and not allow for me to be abused, or other people in my life to be abused, unclear of whats coming from me. Tehres only so much you can do to pass tests and be cool enough to be around others, or survive investigators or not be prosecuted, or put in jail, and as sad as that seems possible, I am doing my best, there are no short cuts in life, or genetic excuses for who I am or whats wrong with me, I think in every way you did not respect my performance online, or assist with taking his website down, teaches me, how Im different, and incapable of making mistakes, learn to accept life as unsupported, and continue to not talk to anyone, until its clear what court is for or why Judge Nguyen is suddenly shocked or dismayed by what I sound like fighting for my life or defending myself intolerant of voices, or be confused about watching what I look like in difficulty, I think in every way I was composed and positive supportive, was not believed, and a worse version living up to negative words, being pushed, maxing out my limits in life, isolating me, providing no support, is maybe a lesson on living life that I am not well enough to be apart of or explain that justice created. So continue to do my best, life is short, love if you can, back off if your suffering, and maybe its time to be alone, and not let my private life, be watched or hacked, allow for confusion about who I am or what I sound like. However long it takes to improve, I have to accept Im different now, I have to accept the permanency of being made fun of, I have to accept what my life looks like, I have to accept receiving threats from others, and I will have to accept not being loved, and allow for my focus here forward to be on working through my own content, not let myself be used or fought for, and not allow who I am to be changed, or make light of “identity theft” or improvement or money.