Maybe I was told you are going to regret that, one of the few moments in life, I ever loved someone, and faced so much disbelief concerning my private content and progress, now is a moment of being serious, and need to be alone, focus on my health until my next court date January 30, 2024, where the ex pen pal is already broadcasting and accusing me making me uncomfortable heightening the alarming repercussions of not knowing what’s next, past being accepted. However related to my trip to NY, or question, in spite of talking to the police in NY, and disclosing who I am and who’s suing me, to make sure that a friend upset with me, is reported to the police, not just some moment in public, to make either look emotional, with concern for whether I upset her, make sure that her taking my phone away, after disclosing my new diagnosis, was not my first experience with knowing whether I was disabled or not, or bring up my own conversation about what was so hard to accept about a new diagnosis reassured by my friend or anyone I told, it’s not a big deal, why not call your blog schizophrenia LA, still loved and friended, so instead of viewing police contact as false, know that maybe I am stuck living a life, where more time is spent on making sure Im allowed to be places, always informing the bouncer of my drink limit and mental health condition, before entering a place of establishment, not over highlight the officer telling me “she’ll be fine in the morning” as though Im being supported by “police” reporting Ive been sued and she’s upset with me, thought a better way of making sure everything is okay, would be to talk to someone, but nothing is perfect, I wouldn’t say that drinking has ever not resulted in anger toward me, I should know based on my trip to NY, the diagnosis they’re okay with, the alcohol use “or changing into a person disliked” is what causes anger toward me, whether you make fun of me calling the police in New Jersey and explaining to my whole family, I was hurt, and talking to the police officers, unclear of what was so upsetting about me, it’s not about my fake Louis Vuitton being ripped off my shoulder, and running away from a family event, and followed by my older cousins who consoled me, something I should get used to, or anytime somethings been my fault, drinking, and then disliking how I sound if I drink, does not describe how I am informed of devastation to my own family, or to my Mom’s family, the one person expecting to be consoled or talked to, you know when you aren’t doing well and get in trouble, and could just be put in jail, I wouldn’t say hiring an attorney, who doesn’t speak to me, about how Im treated or how to figure out if Im guilty or not, or a person housed, kicked out, who does not belong, based on who they are, or whether they go out in public or not, these are experiences in life to expose, how I was hurt, unsupported, no one was able to help me or talk to me, and a public disclosure of “how bad things were” isn’t about making my family look bad, by making me look bad, isn’t how you judge a person, or significance to their story, decide medically to call anything genetic, if I said I represent my family, then I should be strong enough to handle things image reputation and politically with regard to my own associations in life, and friendships, mean that by failing health is how I know when to stop or what is wrong, or not clearly faced with severe difficulty, having worked hard to blog and publish a book, and for one negative portrayal of me in public, Im sorry Im not willing to accept the shock or punishment, for accusing me of being too stupid to talk to the public or talk in private, accuse me of being worked, or having a disposition bossed, or accuse me of schizophrenia, or a disability fake or damaging to my family, or purposefully sad, accuse me of not trying hard, I cant explain to you, when Im incapacitated on meds, when Im taken off meds, when Im doing well, when there are changes in care, that’s none of my business everyones overall assessment of life in general, compared to how Im doing, never having made a big deal of earning privilege back, and honest about it taking 4 years to recover from the first hate website, Im doing my best. So no I don’t let people come down hard on me tell me how it is, like its no big deal, move on in life, willing to accept blame for what is done to me, to hurt me or my family, and maybe those are issues I never reported to an investigator in Texas, or ever someone who ever viewed simply blocking someone as how to deal with mental health issues, or my own guilts in life. So yes it’s shocking that my former attorney was Asian, who was no longer a good fit, it’s significant that Leonardo Dicaprio approved my posts, and to not blame my presence as causing anything bad, or requiring to light everyone up, a skill you have and lose, instantly not cool by rumor, or make believe diagnosis or disability or medical records is going to prevent jail. I am choosing to be alone, on the basis, that it’s questioned whether I can tell if somethings wrong, or whether its okay to put me down again, and to continue to blame me for losses, all I know is its my body and my brain, and my writing, and no matter what anyone else does with it, observes, contacts, gives me a hard time, this is not about blaming my losses, on my quality of life character or judge my hard work as garbage or a person, you give a hard time and blame, is not okay to punish me, whatever both Judges are doing, and who they are appearing in support of, probably the Asian attorney, who you made fun of me losing the love of my life on more than one level, people who accepted me, endured difficulty with me, or now without me, it’s still my job, to work hard and not be dependent on anyone, or be hurt by every example or reason for calling me negative terms, its clearly not my win in life, that is clearly the lesson, for no one to talk to me, for my life to never be good enough, for no moment of wellness believed, Im not punishing myself for losing my Dad, please don’t accuse me of being stupid in a home with my family, not dating anyone, working hard, on helping others, is not some alternate lifestyle of caring and putting forward an effort you make fun of, or need to see my websites to know what work Ive completed or believe me. I think the biggest lesson in life, if its about being too late and hurt by the time everyone is feeling better, they are forgiven, is a lesson, on whether to allow bullying to lead a discussion, its not about my forgiveness or attention, or silent treatment, it’s about previously stated whats connected to me, therefore Judge Nguyen you are not entitled to know about or talk about my private work experience, read emails, or decide to detail issues you think I have with any race, or gender, it was a mistake to ever complain, it’s clear no one supports me, the death of my Father and OJ, was shocking to accuse me of being at fault for being bullied, is shocking and hurtful, to do my best and still be treated as stupid, is hurtful, and now is not the time to accuse me of registering my company name by the first listed company on Google, about having an untrue association in life, upon meeting an Attorney, not someone I am responsible for, or my previous places of employment, maybe me in work mode, is underminded as a performance or skill, considered fake or automatic, and maybe the lesson in  performing under pressure, or being blamed as though things or key elements are coming from me, is probably not a new discussion, since it’s already been happening, then despite experiencing mental illness fighting, at least I can report to any court house, who I am, describe what is occurring, and like talking to a police officer in NY, be clear on being allowed to be places in life. Helping is not until something goes wrong, voices are not until something goes wrong, diagnosis is not to prevent writing or working or performing. I wish everyone the best, its unfortunate to be this person, given a hard time, which on any day, can not amount to enough having been said to be left alone, or prevent voices for the day, and that’s my life, and it’s something Ive talked about but doesn’t make me guilty, or accuse me of blaming anyone hacking or anything watching me, or anyones touch whats affecting my mental health, again maybe not until you are able to prove how nice of a person I am, may be the constant test, if I can stay well, or if I lose wellness to complain, who’s on my side in life is my Father, who’s life and advices, and “genetics” I do not wish for people who speak normally and live normal honest lives, to accuse me of ebing improper or too sick to be home, or mistreat me like I can prevent jail or any diagnosis or mental health diversion agreement, ultimately it’s about not accusing me of being disliked, or having an unwelcomed presence, don’t accuse me of alcoholism or fighting, don’t accuse me of needing to talk to a DA, or accuse me as a person at fault, defective contribution to society, good enough or suddenly failing, hurt, apart of lives, or not apart of lives, missing the beauty of life, you can only be rejected so many times, that its time to give up, I think the best decision I can make for myself is to focus on what court is about and do my best, help myself, and Im sorry that this person kept hurting me, and for any attorney or Judge to give me  a hard time for losing my Dad and OJ, is no ones job to give me a hard time, and act like Im well, and should be sick, or not smart, should be punished. Again it’s important that I don’t date or love anyone again, since that’s become a system of exclusion, hurting my feelings, calling me fat and ugly, with preference for others, simply not try.