To me court represents something overwhelming and serious for me I don’t wish to discuss describe or explain to anyone is my right to privacy something I take seriously, that makes treatment or connecting unnecessary at this time. I’m not ruining my life everyone is nice to me that doesn’t change the fact that calling me pervert is hurtful and has made participation painful discouraging or futile to “fight voices” after several tries and experiencing mental dysfunction in inability to continue writing beginning in iPhone notes.

To me life will always be a game about measuring up doing your best being detailed to prevent harm to self or others for an unreasonable basis not make it okay to call me delusional or requiring seeing my face for reactions again it’s not what I think or remember in a place in life I can survive without bothering out blaming anyone or asking for help, from a story or of unhelpful political humor as infuriated by Justice Nguyen making fun of a volunteer job with Neighborhood Justice Program or a City Attorney volunteer job mediating, I think of you consider me unfit to be a Judge I’m sure that job did not happen for me because you do not know who I am or what qualifies me, the new court system designed to defer punishment to people who are punished alternately based on what they’ve done wrong where I first heard “deferred punishment.” However later in life “mental health diversion” was introduced to me as a concept to prevent jail, a new attorney was hired because I hired an attorney to attend a hearing I was prepared to speak and brave enough to submit documents to court not credited as able to represent myself and maybe that’s the lesson in life to do my best, not be favored, make fun of things, act like it’s not inappropriate and insulting to call me pervert and say “perversion rhymes with diversion” continue to bring up a program you accuse me of being unprepared for trial or trying to intimidate me with a court room with a cage I don’t care if you put me in a cage or publish a news story declaring how retarded I am after 39 years of life. How dare you accuse me of being down or in need of help from a DA to get well or improve and how dare you put me down to the extent you fucking accuse me of needing help back up or consoling it’s clear the game is going and I can choose to ignore what keeps you going in life I know my truth next time just work alone and not connect with anyone doesn’t mean you know me or know where I’m headed or that by being fed up with me is a type of shock or difficulty or change of plans relevant to anything I’ve written or a limit reached that you would accuse me of pushing anyone’s limits a hard subject frustrating anyone else. I’m going to focus on myself for the rest of my life it’s okay if I was hurt and too late to prevent voices or convince anyone hurting me to stop I can’t control what people think and Apple lenses is not declaring a simple way to reject me intending to tell everyone I’m sick or gross can’t be looked at another interpretation or declaration of there being something wrong with me, I’m the end it’s not me grading or being hard on anyone “condemning how OJ was treated unclear about a preference to not use me to make fun of me as solution or create an easy concept of code that lets people harm me or make fun of me or call me pervert use me watch my hack me connect tamper steal from me delete anything invade my privacy read emails or text messages it’s not that I forget what I say and where I’ve said it it’s not about me accusing people of knowing stuff or doing stuff bad to me that’s the joke, outs about using me to figure out what is mental illness, if it was a fear it happened, if I did my best to not get hurt and was hurt anyways I’m too late, if I was supported but not strong enough to attend meetings going through a lot, not now especially in the middle of controversy is cheating much to much to talk to anyone or be in public idle or improper by appearance make a big deal about why Apple refuses to photo me capture an image not contest how I lose my face focused on or why I gain weight if you see my body not everything is explained to you just I know myself how much disrespect I can handle don’t appreciate being adulted, fought, think at age 39 I need to be shrunk to be cute or disabled to live life in the end the issue is whether u can tell if I’m being hurt or not in life and the issue is at what point did life ever align to call me lesbian in a derogatory way, and call me pervert, accuse me of obesity or having an ugly face, be surprised hearing me fight, not make light of a fight in Venice or a P hat doesn’t mean make fun of me call me pervert make fun of what my face looks like upset there was a face not traumatized don’t accuse me of being street or accuse me of connecting with anyone who knows me as though I can tell whether someone knows me or not whether I’m so vain as to credit the evolution of cool as having anything to do with my hobby blogging legal education story or a person who needs to be aged to accept anything in life, I think you saw who I was then you forced me to undergo treatment where now I’m too fat to belong in sober living but used to be fit and wear hats, accuse me of being gay or doing weird shit in my head or with my eyes or body invasive to anyone else’s spaces in life or ignorant of sexuality that I need to be replaced 4 times broadcast in 40 be surprised when I tell everyone I will never love anyone for the rest of my life date, taking seriously voices as to work not working out lost focus by posts online and being called pervert on my 30 to 1 10 min break over an 8 hr period was never comfortable period and don’t need to be made uncomfortable accuse me of belonging or not belonging as though environmentally either I stay well or empowered anyone by mood to give me a hard time make fun of how I take other peoples unhappiness instead of accusing me of being something sick or mentally ill that hits her head in court as though I’m being sued for shocking charges in life you accuse me of trying to avoid by perversion diversion court, ruin ability to date, ability to work, ability to reconnect with exes. That’s not love calling me pervert, that’s not love going through my photos, that’s not love disabling me taking me off meds a 5150 hold psychiatrists do not take away or view as the cause for mental illness after disclosing both diagnosis. You can counter my definition of being a role model make fun of me sharing everything even my dissertation after disability had trouble writing it, was getting straight As, or challenge my analysis of what it takes to be a role model explained things happening for me and working out for me shows that based on what I’ve presented without saying described myself as a role model. I think voices illustrate a belief in calling me a sex offender and accusing my focus resume Laker game attendance every game 2008-2009, after being a rape crisis hotline counselor does not mean an estimated concern (for possessing my own soul I thought could get lost or trapped in jail an honest nightmare along with an ex ray without padding thought they shrunk my heart). Doesn’t mean I’m Kobe insensitive or any moment in time to use my analysis of cruise liners crashing in the news in law school important lessons on how inattendance or sexual escapade was reported as a captains responsibility to prevent a ignorant historical interpretation of how we lost the Titanic with concern for Hollywood film silent film slap stick comedy or questioned Hitler’s influence in the world as dominating a form of decision making relative to the loss of the Titanic, I think right now we are focused on when I told Justice Sotomayor a fear: of everything flipping over, so how does that relate to a leadership or force driving the course of decision making, there’s no evidence but for the sky above me and clouds and big white owl were some memorable experiences with pen pals who saw all phases of difficulty being on my own hitting my head having trouble figuring out how to help everyone, that doesn’t mean at a previous point in time I’ve forgotten my own condition of trauma with self harm that evidences some limit to expose previously of not staying well with people to talk to mean anything is predicable or wrong with me not working out or accuse me of taking meds people fear and tell me to not take require me to live disabled for the rest of my life that’s one option I would hope that meds don’t in the alternate mean it’s okay to accuse me of mental illness make fun of what I sound like fighting mistreat me as though I lose faith in myself or destructive or have unwanted attachments to anyone or resentments relative to any yearbook I think going through my Google photos and seeing bad pictures not who I was pretty and featured in every yearbook prior with a big picture of me, means it’s not okay to put me down and make fun of what 2002-2003 was like overweight doesn’t mean I was friendless I had friends and instead of accusing me of talking shit about anyone I’ve known my whole life a better focus would be on how I was punished by friends who told my best friend in elementary school who is now very popular not shocking to confront me accuse me of speaking badly about anyone why would I speak badly about anyone if my Mom had had problems being spoken to like they’re heard things about her clearly suffered for many years before I encouraged her to make friends and she dated again, the last person to do something that had hurt my Mom and makes her uncomfortable not insignificant to address that all I asked was why was she taking pictures of herself and I was in the room next to her where clearly all three of them could hear me. Give anyone the right on a larger more permanent scale decide to insult me worse than a yearbook accusing me of being shady in friendly way, make fun of my sobriety or focus on academics, again it’s not what you know or find out and relive make a big deal about information or how it’s used interpreted no one knows who I am no one appreciates a positive high school reunion or texting who I was accused of talking shit about (when I was fat and injured too many times left my club soccer team who didn’t email me not offended by seeing my soccer coach asking me what happened to me) I just kept walking, just like she confronted me and I was quiet end of discussion. In the end if you decide to compare me to a school shooter by bullying me studying every offender then study me I’m human enough to not get hurt by experiments on me, question my face, ability to take care of myself. How dare anyone punk me after going through my Facebook, continue to add friends, add my sisters friend without my permission who as close with my sister before she died and taken to our cool Jonah Hill AA meeting an example of trying to accuse me of my life as communicating “impending doom” or accuse me of being too fucking stupid to connect or a person destined for garbage or hell insensitive to loses or a Crossroads memorial story unnecessary to bring up traumatize any of my friends who respect me supported me, knew me in the positive, know I went through a lot, sure everyone is pleased to see me if I show up can be myself have had moments in life that I don’t regret anything I’ve shared on social media or unable to embrace a period in life like making logo squares combinations not someone who took my LSAT 3 times before attending las school scored high in the games section my best section. I’m here to say that no matter how far down you put me, no matter what you think, no matter how late I am, no matter to what extremes bullying occurs or blame I’ve stated “I need to believe in myself” as a positive description of going from disabled dysfunction to working hard until I stay well don’t end up in the hospital. I’m sure the years I was well are not believed, in light of being too late to show nice pictures, I can accept to write well enough that’s good enough for hate or any “People” on any scale who wishes to challenge my perception of “The People vs Leslie Fischman” does not mean plus voices I think everyone hates me thinks I’ve done wrong not a victim cannot be seen utilize self harm to accuse me of self injuring or scaring anyone, or create a pattern of self injury and constantly accuse me of delusion or not caring or school shooting sensitive at this point I’m willing to accept any opinion that doesn’t mean turning me into an offender, unclear of what causes mental illness, not be unappreciative of how difficult it is to grow a blog the pressure of performing even when your tired or everything feels very serious doesn’t mean ours okay to being up any advice period or use my story for blame accuse me of not working hard fed exing SCOTUS prior to a bombing in Boston turn into accusing me of exposing myself or causing an attack either in Boston, or negatively interpret attending treatment in OC, ultimately the issue is not what is or what my timeline is like or how many things I did right, it’s about is my content offensive do I have a history of hurting anyone or scaring anyone, isn’t it true to share my story in public (deserving of free content of value make any moment worth the emergency created by preventing harm is not in my human capacity for there to be something wrong accuse me of not being able to tell if an attack will or will not occur, decide that it’s okay to accuse me of being offensive or fought accuse me of being stupid or not cute, accuse me of disease and request to see my 4th step is unnecessary and clearly about calling me mentally ill a disease so that I’m rejected to cause me to live life with a fact about me I disclose then make fun of me not being ready, I think it’s hurtful to everyone who knows me or who hooked up with me to convince any support or pride as being protected by convincing men I have a disease, making fun of there being things additionally wrong with me hard to accept is not a funny honorable way of retiring me pretending you know code, why Alexa retired, have no idea what blogging and covid have in common, and recognize being made of treated as guilty with a goal for scaring me to fuck up my face and accuse me of saying things causing a person to think I’m guilty as though I need a DA to observe me to determine if I’m guilty or not or accuse me of hiring an attorney guilty without trial or speaking to me allowing me to appear expect me to accept being sent to jail for no reason, accuse me of needing to do something easy cut contact, and make fun of me or my instability, it’s you don’t care about my stability because you don’t care why I went to the ER on my own 10 times. And maybe jail is for me to not know, worry about, stress over image or content at this point if it’s about forcing me to accept voices instead of jail, or make fun of working hard for 12 years, unaccepting of me needing to be alone, expect me to share stories about crying hysterically and think that’s pathetic or drama or ER make fun of being sent home, like everything’s about me not knowing what I’ve done wrong, I’m sorry two professional blogs with a world wide audience were not good enough to prevent my life from being ruined and accuse me of being hurt by something close to me that’s no one’s fucking business you know who OJ is is OJ you know who’s not gay is Leslie Fischman, you know who’s a bright intelligent woman who went through a lot an example of a person with good life experiences also not ignorant to threats or being rape have the wrong things on their resume or accuse me of being scared wrongfully accused take a website down in getting a job not something I worked hard to take down for more than a year without emergency. I know my story best, I’ve read all my writing, I can remember everything, I can also work full time, I know who I am what I think who I’m helping not okay with misusing my identity as making the wrong things smart or motivated to commit crimes by location again I said don’t accuse me of being a defect undeserving of life, or a person who deserves bullying. How to prevent a crime and show you care is not what the cops say who no one trusts. It’s not what I’m sensitive to or what I say please stop to or stop rubbing it in my face a limit reached I notify is hurtful mean disclosing a court case number or making fun of John Cockrell reading a form and explaining it to me does not entitle the Judge to bring up “court form explanations” or make fun of me being given a hard time or address my attorney improperly it’s Judge Nguyen’s attitude in life that brings up what working full time is working hard to be good enough and keep your job clearly it was a job they believed I could do everyone nice, but could not handle voices on breaks and John Cockrell reconnecting the first weekend after completing a week of work any person reconnecting harming me an issue addressed by reporting to an investigator he was threatening me although he has improved and I did my best. Its not okay to accuse me of being fired or accuse a fire in Malibu as relevant to being hired for a full time position I’m sure at no point any post or continued contact can explain I was working hard able, for whatever reasons I lost my job it was for whatever reasons I could not post proper on Instagram, sounded stupid, got voices calling me pervert on breaks, reconnected and supported me then gave me a hard time, and why on this occasion is it a justice to force me to write online instead, when no one is reading my blog, and everyone is doing well, and think that’s the joke about CA or who represents CA, I do! I’ve lived here my whole life and applied to Governor Newsoms office applied to a mental health position filled out my application with personal details example of a writing I did not keep a copy of copy paste doesn’t mean my work ethic or sharing skills are limited or strict or suddenly accuse my choices in life behavior or description of life as inaccurate or offensive I’ve done my best. What matters always is right now, I know who I am, if this is what I need to say to move forward then this is what I feel is required to fulfill any obligation to explain the difference between support or allow for continued insult after 12 years suddenly allow others or groups of people or time in treatment or working full time not admirable moments of pushing myself and believing I was at my best, again the issue with being given an incurable disease is with emphasis on location still unaccepting of contacting government figures, it doesn’t matter what you know about my story, what I’ve shared online, what scares me, where I am, winning, losing, good life, bad life, hospital, it’s about what’s wrong with me, and in what way does hurting me going through all my medical records satisfy court, why am I the only once setting 10 years goals, writing in terms of making clear I am a campaign, what makes a more clear address of things to focus on intended to benefit anyone or be used against me to prove me wrong if I fail and if you think my work online is garbage dissatisfied with additional disclosure to ensure public safety, all I want to know is who do you think I’m not and why, and why question a decision to not attend meetings if I’m not telling well can’t stay up at 8:30 already falling asleep avoidant or accuse me of not pushing myself to be with people who know me “unsympathetic to viewing meetings as my second chance in life” in every way you are treated as stupid and in every way you disregulated no matter how many times you punish me, give me a hard time, make fun of working full time, make fun of no one knowing where voices come from then make fun of me fighting voices pretending voices represent actual people then the upside is not caring how I feel or what I sense the purpose for not trusting me wrongfully accusing me is to use “location” to ridicule how I dealt with a stabbing in my neighborhood as connected to OJ, not accuse me of a darkness or possessing bad luck or a freakish quality or awkwardness introverted or weight gain or face swirling schizophrenia composite not know who I’m strong for or who I’m hurting in every way I was punished and lost everything got to fly to NY missed the shorty awards life isn’t about how many times your told you’re not discuss how many times your made fun of freaking out or how many times your parents are called or refused medication it’s about whether I can tell if there’s something wrong with me and figure out how anyone else can tell or why that would require them to talk to my parents and necessitate this constant confrontation accuse me of being a bad daughter or gone, don’t accuse me of alcoholism or drunk driving or not expunge my record or think that if after 10 years expunged or using a lawsuit from 2017 is doing a justice by suing me again and accuse me of having prior, the issue isn’t me ignorant or under pressure a can handle life joke that you take off meds because she’s a find out homewrecker joke not smart enough to be allowed to use her brain to help herself no one wants to take care of me I get the hint, there is no lasting moment of pride when anyone recognizes I’m doing well because I’m doing everything right it doesn’t matter as many times as you want to scare me to death blame me reject me displace me watch my life being up voices over and over again it’s not me who cant be loved not feminine or deserving of sex, it’s about discontinuing describing myself and my own recovery not publish my own reminders or what is viewed as survival tips Im sure anyone can be motivated to pretend Im famous, what’s difficult is how many times are you going to accuse me of mental illness, not be impressed by any performance, make fun of how long it takes to “prevent voices” who can’t accept my interpretation of The People vs Leslie Fischman dear both Judges sending me to perversion diversion court, denying me the privilege of marriage or dating, accusing me of doing things that can be seen hurtful to anyone, or have problems that it’s not already clear based on meds and lack of confidence not at ease, the issue isn’t not cheating or who I give to love to or how I lost everything and my heart was broken it’s about not wasting time caught up in minor issues to accept my losses, and if who I am isn’t good enough and I’m called pervert then with hard until I deserve to have my case dismissed do my best to not alarm the public or allow my Supervising Pen Pal Attorney Craig Rackohn to be used an another person harmed by me, why not set the record straight the moment thing became too much and suddenly was compelled to disclose very painful difficulties in presently enduring you failed to honor the work ethic and ability to handle who I am at work and how focused I am on being proper working towards praise and be given assignments with with others, I don’t think that’s a funny joke to accuse me of complaining or being paranoid or threatened by others, or without being paid called pervert repeatedly and pretend that shouting at me and calling me delusional or pushing me to the edges in life is some common outburst like figuring me out is to help me or makes me a team with unwanted participants I think it’s clear I called the CIA once to complain about voices. It’s unfortunate to improve do well not be believed listen to others, appear well, experience ability, and have all those moments of peace or pride taken from me, it’s not me who has failed President Trump, SCOTUS, VP Kamala Harris, or President Barack Obama, don’t turn my story into a sex reject story accuse me of having zero knowledge or not passing any tests as far as I’m concerned you did not believe anything vaguely representative of a world peace platform existing which cannot be proven by WordPress, mean it’s okay for anyone to accuse me of being spiked or ungrateful or having it easy or being sheltered, or an introvert, or unattractive, or not pretty, didn’t figure out my own body shapes on my own. You don’t become beautiful accused of not loving yourself and trying to be like someone else who is loved, and having a personal grievance of over privacy my 4th step or unclear on @ Ellen Degeneres and being blocked doesn’t mean I’m not strong enough to discuss the loss of her “Twitch” Stephen Boss. Mean a picture of my niece Sela on my Google photos or her name means it’s okay to call me a sell out, or particular about photo albums I think the issue was clear about protecting my family not to study photos, post photos, I think it’s clear what my eyes and face looks like, I’m sure no matter how many times you choose to memorialize losses they are best represented by who knows and loves them, and learn how to not be treated like an open book, or a person studied, turn my health into some common definition or illustration of mental illness you call guilt, accusing me of not being famous, using probation or court or wrongful accusations or term pervert and expect me to punch my head doesn’t mean anyone loves me or knows me or it’s just a joke or make it okay to say his website was sick continue to scare me or expect me to become gay to protect women or ignore an entire website pen name or identity, be critical of being fought, watching me fight online, after working full time deserved or not how he should feel trying to communicate how hurtful a term or any jokes about resume or life means, maybe you don’t care who I was because you needed to see me fight voices and call me mentally ill, to accuse me of hurting anyone I’m not okay with being made fun of I don’t care if it’s a game if it’s too late what you thought life was about if pushed too hard or accuse me of complaining about why when I’m doing well it doesn’t last I’m living by the same standards as everyone else without complaint I think I’m the chillest person on earth most independent because I’m choosing to follow my heart, and even if I lose everything I know the best way to get from here to better and survive the next court date is to be alone, not be too hard on myself, do my best to accept voices, exclude myself from participation, not bother anyone, improve, continue to believe in my right to stand tall be proud of myself it doesn’t matter what anyone else says it’s about being alone working alone not bother anyone, not give up, address the issues without being punished for writing and it won’t be until no one is insulted by me mad at me, clear no one has been harmed it will be harmed and respect no one is trying to hurt me, the more able I will be allowed to move forward be regarded as a professional instead of insulting my life advice or expertise with mental health makes it never okay to accuse me of fraud or writing in mental illness or accuse me of delusion I’m not studying anyone I’m not mad at anyone everyone is entitled to stop when they get what they want to put them at ease and the test way to focus on my mental health and not be made fun of, would be to focus on myself.