Was writing about not having sex knew after enough times of sex possible in the middle of a traumatic loss it was not okay for me to continue to have sex or be punished as though I’m having sex loved recognize leaving places of comfort to focus on how to help please do not allow for an Americana building in the valley be some unknown representation related to Caruso without knowing I contacted him.

Ways you become convinced that any emergency now or pressure is related to my fears or preferences I never thought that working hard on being in a place focused was what about losing my peace or leaving open for interpretation punishment of me or my own information published shown or not shown I did my best.

I’m not creating a post with concern for the victim I think it’s unfortunate to be called schizophrenic or guilty of causing harm to anyone I think I’m every way possible to could make clear “energy” is not about decreasing my energy and everyone thinking something’s wrong with me and make fun of me not talking or functioning like life’s better without me, or by disabling is how peace is achieved or voices prevented in what way could that be the solution.

If being over medicated or overdosing taking an extra pill or use of self harm with respect to my head and neck both on invega and now off invega about me being guilty or accusing a red backpack as representative of a homeless person accuse me of wearing something scary or shocking or represent a care not controversial to a meeting who wore orange mean at age 39 suddenly I’m no fun taking to heart how I had one problem bullied and suffering from self harm an example of never having an issue hurting myself on a level where acceptable or with respect to my losses.

Many have always supported me (especially now) recommended treatment a failed use of myself launched online misrepresenting or making anyone successful look stupid. It’s so important of you are helping to tell your story in a way that it does not become a game about treating you as guilty, please respect I was dropped as a patient, did my best.

A healthy human being worth being under anyone’s care not someone who should have to explain from the doctors perspective based on what issue or communication with a DA was care rescinded, I had a job and was doing well, my Dad died after my first week, I barely made sure I told him the good news in time, that’s how easily things can go from recognized as being loved and keeping someone alive doing what you are believed to be capable of doing, and am not afraid in what way the Judge decides to give me a hard time.

The issue still unclear as to putting me down, the solution for acceptance is recovery, this is life it’s tough, people don’t have to know you to be able to tell whether you belong or deserve to live in a nice building so let’s not get carried away accuse me of being delirious it delusional as though life’s too much too difficult or mistake me asking for help as requiring severe incapacitation and submit to shots an inhaling of ungrateful patient.

In the end it’s about “what improvement” it’s about staying well, it’s about what’s wrong with me, it’s about recognizing who I am and how I communicate is not thinking I’m in a place not a hardworking professional telling you the psychiatrist what up do or what to prescribe me I’m never meeting life for the first time or need a doctor to tell me how bad my condition is or how traumatic a new diagnosis would serve to lose support be used as justification to take meds away, therefore it’s not about time spent in treatment or miraculous recovery or getting a high paying job.

If it’s about world peace I’m sorry I’m not willing to be beat up or require me to fight voices, maybe it was never clear that I’m nice to everyone proper stay away am educated confident.accomplished just graduated finished a masters degree I never asked for help comprehending life it incapable of helping myself required help suffering from a disorder be worse punching my head after a change in diagnosis and fit it to be in jest what’s upsetting to me.

In the end I’m human and life is short and maybe then I could not prove I deserved to recovering home well maybe the pride in stopping a med was viewed as the solution or problem. But never mistake me for coding in public or calling attention to myself ignorant of what I can or can’t do not a beautiful example as someone on vyvsnse and abilify beach running, time or being old or years spent disabled is not about questioning what’s wrong around me or how treatment was discontinued hurtful to me it’s about why would I be such a great patient and did suddenly punished as able or working.

I’m never anyone trying to make anyone look bad or insensitive to my surroundings it’s not until crime occurs and there is a crisis no one is responsible for, that you make the effort to help talk to the police not be accused of working having a job not focused on what’s important to me or accuse trust or belief in one another I think the moment you made fun of my life or get decided to make fun of my note sent to a DA has nothing to do with people from Robertson throwing trash at me interpreted as a chore or act like I’m working or have a blog, my guest website was destroyed I didn’t have a second website so let’s not abuse trust or inspiration or get carried away in names or who my seed is an argument already made to the court on the George Floyd case clear on explaining to SCOTUS I’m sure having a level of awareness however known not someone who put together information concerned about anyone else’s origins, so life’s not about making fun of John Cockrells makes or any names in my family nothing is being communicated to the public that tells them I’m stupid or have lack of awareness or insensitive to the George Floyd case the issue is not about calling me racist if homocidal it’s about how does me complaining about the use of a gray tie mean I’m controlling it’s the 9/11 memorial you have to always assume I’m she larger basis it’s not okay to use a reference to my sister in law who has already been through enough changes in life and without question honor their return to music.

Much to my dismay instead in recognizing my hard work will sober and attendance everyday in a others I’ve tried before but because I missed a day was sent away to rehab because I found it hard to stay all day off meds, or put back on meds, had one failed interaction overhearing a patient compliment another patient telling her she looks just like Nicole Brown Simpson, not anyone who had issues or should know not to disclose who I am, I’m beginning to accept that the issue is not being anyone and that no one cares who I am and no one knows why bringing up who I  am is so difficult because everytime it share my story I am sued, we have tried no mention, I have been exposed to varying disbelief of my potential or reason to accuse me of taking a med that is causing voices I’m dealing with separately even if permanent and can’t be changed or how people feel and why I’m not worth it cant be trusted with meds is not because I’m not chill or in a rush demanding needing a med to write something worth the peace that it serves isn’t about alcohol or rebellion or make fun of changes to care like I too am disappointed by diagnosis a proper decision to change care inform my therapist that I did not appreciate the one appointment who it was honest as to having a condition of suicide which he explained to me once a month taking extra is not enough to be sent in rehab, is maybe not my specialty how a mental health accredited program with a few years sobriety become people who’ve helped me who I’ve admired any moment I’m supposed to recognize that what I’m doing is wrong.

How many times must I be convinced I don’t belong before I look and seem like a person gone who doesn’t listen who doesn’t know when to stop or expected to get sick or be suicidal or get tired ever anyone critical of any loss, or make inappropriate humor of an Eminem song making fun of the one person I texted to see how he was doing hearing of a loss a friend who then said something random to me mean either I’m shady if he is having not known of the loss or having seen the patient once was focused on working not the person with a sad story who causes anyone to relapse or taking chances with their life and I’m sorry that a Judge continuing to make fun of my health coordinating care with everyone talking except to me doesn’t mean I’m unappreciative or need to wake up or not able to handle in stride being told what the Judge wants I had a job and was doing well all I want to know is why when I’m recovered doing my best does that become the time that you tell me there’s something seriously wrong with me demand rehab or leave right now bring all your pills that get taken and punish me for my insurance lot covering accuse me of living somewhere expected to afford or think that’s okay to charge me $10,000 like I have money the issue is of insurance is applied for not approved no matter his late in the process of secondary care is set up and I even asked how much is owed and told to not worry about it, doesn’t mean it’s okay to hassle me for $10,000 for a few days in rehab harass me like I should know my insurance wasn’t approved sent somewhere living in a room next to an office some place else of enjoying a place I don’t belong continue to be impatient toward my disposition be glad for who I was well. Never accuse me of being disobedient and to be honest DA Todd Spitzer suing me and not charging me is really no one’s business to accuse me of hitting someone for sex accuse me of wanting something from a chief executive officer of one of the largest district offices in charge of thousands of employees a person not worth his attention or accuse me of wanting sex from anyone maybe those are short ways to hurt my feelings forget who I am or to continue to make fun of my story think that your comfort and perspective in life or interaction is what entitles anyone to investigate my housing arrangements accuse me of not sharing stories, if I’m not sharing stories not mentioning my mom or dad or family or attending meetings, not afraid of the Judge, have to watch my Attorney being given a hard time, let’s not pretend I speak some way I forget accuse my intelligence as not working out not figuring out not a good thinker accuse me of not feeling good accuse me of needing to be taken off meds because you accuse my thoughts as mentally ill and don’t trust my feelings or emotions or think because it’s easy for you to stay centered and stay well that my medical history or online participation is stupid or accuse me of making evolution jokes, I always loved myself, don’t ever accuse me of being so gone that I need love myself or need anyone to be human to achieve confidence or a sense of normalcy, and maybe I will never be acknowledged or recovered to the extent I can make everyone  happy or be in a place so sophisticated you accuse me of not being well think working full time is the time to test me, I don’t care when how or why voices occur I don’t care who’s watching or what the timing of disturbance means all I know is to do my best be honest nothing comes easy in life, and to believe in myself and comprehend that no matter how hard I try maybe bonded or self harm will never be accepts as a private struggle I overcame and improved from I dogs think it’s proper to turn me into a person unrefined who can’t accept by video upset, scolding of road rage or homeless kicking my car doesn’t make me mean it combative or mean I have the energy to look bad don’t forget the truth it’s not my guilt that’s related to what goes wrong it’s in how many ways do you not support take the side of even someone homeless who delayed my trip to court mean I did anything wrong running out of energy spending a moment to tell him to stop after 20 mins of him loving my car around the gas station. In the end I can accept defenses of voices purpose or accusing me of beating myself of to contest asexuslity accuse me of having an unhealthy understanding of self love continue to delay weight loss it’s not that I hate hate myself am fat and ugly unattractive or accuse me of being mean and losing beauty or flipping out and being scary I’m not trying to prove voices for all I care they don’t exist have nothing to do with my past (2017-2024) years gratefully lived diligent and in times of mass devastation requested for permission to blog has nothing to do with lawsuit, even refusing to fight voices, or mean I was put on invega or complaining and got a job, is not about accusing me of being healthy incapable of looking like crap a false transformation you accuse means love or neglect of companionship or texting or boyfriend girlfriend roles accuse me of not knowing what marriage is for in a place of clear disability I was not doing well at all could barely sleep over on meds not stable that’s not my fault to have a job transitioning off meds mean it’s okay to make fun of job announcements or accuse me of informing my neighbors I got a job a moment of pride that’s not what I’ve done wrong in life making a professional effort to inform who would full time a huge fan of their tv show not anyone I would inform a hate site was made trashing my home address ever unclear of the value of a home needing help to rent a home or cover up something bad happening in my room, I took like 3 photos, proper that’s not how I fucked up in life being social or a way of life I regret it is a secret or embarrassed by ever saying or doing things that you both don’t respect my experience in tech, be concerned about any moment I’m in leadership with or without Todd whether I’m stopped disabled supported or unsupported I’m never grading or punishing anyone or watching anyone else’s wellness take personal improvement or ungrateful for my own recovery from stuck in bed, my story isn’t a sad diagnosis that had a bad definition left me feeling misunderstood an excuse for looking bad or critical of medical decisions made for me in the event I’m incapacitated not capable of making decisions for myself instead of testing my limits and accusing me of being sick toward people my audience or those I care for, I think the lesson and common approach to voices is that they believe stimulants cause voices, it’s a decision made based on the use of the term schizophrenia which does not allow for stimulants and how I believe I was harmed in life not punished as though I’m an addict dishonest or accuse me of being rich or any place performance wise to accuse me of a hypersensitivity or a condition of voices that makes me look bad to get upset is unclear who that helps probably anyone who would find difficulty in trying to accept why would someone who works so hard heat one word, 2013 thought I heard, tell a friend I thought I was being called negative terms, mean that by 2024 I’m trying to prove who caused voices or threatened by exposing my history of self harm whatever happens to me is not about me winning or being supported or how my Instagram cards is comments on life illustrated in the positive who I am and was certainly not directions to be made fun of for not dating decide to timeline my life for any moment I got voices and not make fun of losing people in my life because I can’t control my own ears if stomach or my own body mistreat me as a poor communicator or sick commutator after reading a text between me in a fan comforting someone who worried for me or felt like something was wrong isn’t a feeling I should have experience with ignore the fact I just wrote a post and about it being okay out you identify something is wrong never discouraged anyone from listening to themselves. For all the reasons I could be viewed as helpful I will just have to accept my own difficulties and controversies associated to what role have voices played in my life to show I worked hard and they went away at what point should a Director offer me a ride home make an effort to check on me. Means when I’m not feeling well that leaving him a voicemail and hitting my head means to make fun of having a new therapist who tells me to not communicate with men supported commonly my shoes helped me for a year deal with a word isn’t something you just make fun of or call it torture or hacking I promise you nothing causing me to punch my head is making me any stronger or mean it’s okay to make light of fire trucks or my own misunderstanding of what jail means have concern for the wire I my body as a later discovered singer sometimes what you value or worry for losing ability is not an irrational fear or mean 14 hrs in jail plus a bus ride freezing cold. Put in Santa Monica jail with a clock was not scary or a lesson in life I need to be taught how to be, how to stop, how to be observed, or how I should be treated for any reason so instead of accusing me of hurting people or hurting myself in front of people for any reason make fun of insult or my behavior know that I will never be quick enough never fast enough never confident and stable enough or improved to go backwards and be able to date men who I was comfortable with examples of anyone I’m hurting I think of things aren’t going well for me and whatever the reasons are I just have to accept my limits pray for my losses, and time lost, continue to be alone figure out how participation helps, figure out how writing books after fires or applying to FEMA, paranoid about jail thought of I could hear the fire truck in a chord in my body is how I would know if I was “ok the wire” commence to jail like hearing loud flushing toilets. Instead of glamorizing having no attorney and being sent so far away in a serious jail, doesn’t mean make fun of me call it entertainment or not a scary experience or a moment in life I survived is clearly nothing I talked about and clearly there is no system of law preventing jail by medical records, in every way I went to the ER whew I’m okay still able to talk are not all the ways to make fun of how and why it’s possible to go from losing my mind to seen by the sheriff or fire department accuse me of being a waste of resources the biggest lesson on not giving my voices shading emails with an Investigator in Texas, I didn’t say a single thinks mean about him, I’m a strong enough human being with no experience working in criminal law a strong enough human being to know how to not make things worse so however empathy was established to be more or less accepting of me forgiving of him all I have to figure out is how to disassociate from giving power to voices or arguably any system or group of people in life use any of my content or experiences inappropriate to accuse me of not knowing how to create a god or continue to accuse me of not being god and make up excuses to ruin my story with voices when and why his did I get them to stop has nothing to do with fires or my story or a person loved so much depended on that would make it okay to accuse me of not knowing what’s an emergency or accuse me losing things of value to me that can’t be replaced a public announcement of accusing me of being hurtful or mentally ill or acting accuse me of lying if blaming voices unclear on what’s causing a major trauma does mean it’s ever okay to not not not trust me or make fun of who’s hod or how things improve but watch me do well work hard and teach me how I can be well perform work full time not sure how long I will last surprised by improvement a person in denial of an issue I’ve clearly reported as difficult and disturbing supporting did my best to make terms private not something I tell every doctor that was a mistake to describe what kind of voices I get. Maybe life is a sport about not trusting me, or accusing me of losing track of my own reach a show hide close call communication to Caruso that’s intending to call out anyone or assume attention as related to a cause is not about me not handing life or not comprehending how many people know me I would never make fun of the 400k people wipe world wide who too are not accepting of what mental illness supposedly sounds like sloop incomplete not a finished work product not fulfilling my category purpose in life are not things that happen to me to shame me in observing major losses be concerned about doing well there then returning home having difficulty here, there will always be different ways of coming to terms with the power of voices and different meanings derived like most people one way to prevent voices would be to not complain improve or blame and also not be someone accused of not loving themselves or for every good day discontinued selfies and now modeling us with concern for beauty loss and my tummy destroyed is nothing or anyone’s innocence I’m trying to keep up with or living a life in which anyone makes it okay to disregard my mental health entirely call me mentally ill means self harm voices has nothing to do with any lawsuit no condition shown or forgotten experience or trauma or condition I should know I have I had a face that I loved no matter what shape lived a quiet life, is nothing about me battling people or voices that are you used to accuse me of experiencing a difficulty or self harmed not evidence of having no experience with voices the lesson pun telling me something sick I report and then get accused of producing a sick voice that tells a doctor I’m sick or what’s too late is not about me losing to a system of judgement or game in life that me as a writer and fashion blogger learning tech means I relapse I think of you accuse me of cocaine one more time your missing he point in justifications to not care not be impressed by be put so low in life that you lose everything based on my own experience recovering from cocaine I suffered dysfunction thankfully the disappointment is something a rehab counselor told me that I would be fine an example of not knowing who cares about it’s not about anyone else from my life it’s about not staying well and because of addiction or dysfunction in school I learned the hard way that I worked hard to be smart be on deans list and instantly could not compete assignments or attend classes maybe at the time I didn’t recognize myself to being upsetting to anyone minding my own business the person who feels the worst being yourself is not a good feeling to not feel smart to not be able to speak to not feel well or require needing to be around others to recognize I’m not feeling well for not more than a semester told my Mom and maybe that’s the ultimate disappointment, and maybe that’s the issue I’m not gone offended think anything is about me losing and handing off opportunity to others or a person who you take from as though I don’t recognize my own value maybe no one will ever care who’s doing what to what personal records but don’t accuse me of destruction or racism I’ve never been told to just block someone and still get sick the underlying issue is taking responsibility for my own health the more I get treated as insecure or under the influence the more I lose in life the best solution for world peace would be to accept that I trust myself, I have a love for god the earth intelligence and human perception to every reach of life that I don’t mere to get sick to be proud I don’t need to shine to survive and it’s my own right to privacy how I make the most of my options in life. The biggest lesson on what the power of God is for or belief in positive thongs to come isn’t about me finally getting to a place in life that anyone who gave up on me is proud I think that’s thinking too deep about life, in times of trauma it’s important to think simple not because watching me handle so much with unknown ability unconfirmed street launched blogger inspired taking seriously a request to address the people is not imagined system of communication that you accuse trash on the street as motivating me to help others viewed as a request for support in the end life is about what I do what I say who I report knowing my value not be accused of being lucky or allowing me to be loved or hated fighting or no reason prior to three major tragedies doesn’t make clear how what anyone else is doing is related to any skills I have just as I wouldn’t believe in trash be in denial of my taste in music or dating history I can be myself it’s time to work hard not accuse me of being matched up or a God joke or accuse my audience traced and recorded or Instagram stats mean of not directly connected is how I make sure I know anything what have we not learned about being online you may distrust me think I’m sick not be concerned for dysfunction not care who’s talking to me lower and lower me   until what result I never confused anyone or built anything that’s garage or fake ignore my losses or how many times voices occur mistake why I’m alive or what’s keeping me alive think that everyone hating me is a joke why would I ever make anyone’s life harder or ruin the fun being online, life isn’t about making rappers 50 cent jokes about how many times I must fail like it’s important to see doing well, and act like I’m limited or have had enough can’t handle simple bullying it’s about to the point that I’m not distrusting how God works or question when things work or don’t work out some person who made it who needs to turn into a nervous wreck to not be fit to work accuse me of not trying or having personal issues defiant I don’t think that watching me report myself being called stuff makes me ignorant about what’s permanent so now we are at the point that everyone thinks I have sick voices I’m home on bed rest not strong enough to model but tried isn’t about me doing well in life at all it’s about making fun of who I am or where I am accuse me of a clarity unearned destructive over difficulties performing online finally improve my stats, or upon being given meds treat this version of me trying to minimize confusion and with acceptance for a bigger picture of what self harm looks like it looks like your making fun of me having 4 parents and mistake the issue of me not being famous being paid for my influence and teamwork god conscious environmental please ignorant of life and books or religious formations if life quotes or wisdom or age instead of accusing me of having a hard heavy life that represents a suffering you call guilt or accuse me of not being strong enough to handle accuse me of punching my head for attention this is how knowing me and a lack of appreciation for my neck improving becomes an unnecessary loss or demonstration of accusing me of never having loved myself acquiring a simple issue that blocking and a unified repeated disapproval accuse me of being told this causes voices, and subjecting me to misdiagnosis and accusing me of taking a pill I’ve been told causes voices and to justify diagnosis as affirming another negative assessment of me as being the kind of person who doesn’t belong says things wrong is trying to fit in or not shady enough proud enough accomplished enough to be deserving of staying well, get never said anything to anyone in 5 minutes untrue or inaccurate or not disclose a term voices make it okay to call me a fuck up and convince me I’m an addict be displeased casing me obesity and decreased ability of fitness to keep up with a schedule I was clearing doing my best not disturbing anyone else’s peace unlike me of all people to for any unknown reason not be feeling well is not in any way offending any environment I was well around people and working. I’m in court therefore maybe that’s their knowledge of life or intelligence or purpose in life to do a justice in honor for any issue believed related to the management of my own mental health. It’s not me who forgot the code who has difficulty blogging some known guaranteed improvement that’s normal for anyone to overcome called trying hard, if I’m not loved or being given a hard time and it’s serious for me trust that everyone else is spared the pressure and humiliation of simplying my life, discount years of improvement accuse me willing to lose my entire ability or life to ridicule, I maybe am not an attorney gags no legal strategy for determining why it was established I’m not guilty and now discontinued talking to everyone not a positive adjustment made in life to focus on my life and what’s happening not let myself be someone who takes pills their told not to take that makes their condition worse I’m not dumber on adderall life isn’t a joke having a fucked up head and neck in defense of anyone in many ways I should give up it’s been too much to be accepted now maintain my wellness or use my story to highlight people from my life who didn’t get to see my improved as a result of voices, sometimes you are credited for undergoing treatments that are credited to you newfound ability and improvement. What I’m learning about accepting my life as it is if even worse not be some person ignored or viewed as not being a team player or letting anyone down ultimately it’s not what I want it’s not what I deserve it’s not a temperament or ability or wellness any fancy offensive way of not giving a fuck about my own system of staying well, does not make it okay after graduation having worked hard mean I’m someone who goes through a lot but isn’t smart about me losing wellness, not being defended, and lose in a way you accuse me of not being deserving of how OJ was treated behaving or acting  like someone who has it all and was beautiful and punches themselves in the head. No it’s not okay to tell me I’m not allowed to publish a book it’s not okay to love what I’m doing and continue to subject me to being told not to do things determine what’s good for my mental health I’m not accusing anyone but clearly someone I’m connected to on my Instagram is relevant to me of course not one can tell me who I am or figure out why The President was shot why would I not declare him as a victim making it clearly inappropriate to watch him code with him or be a team. All I want to know is how has a writing a break or any specific details on voices mean I’m not figuring out trying to figure out how that happens I’m sure my life is going to improve I’m sure I’m not bothered by she’s no big deal the OJ story is easy to manage accuse me of having difficulty that would make me bothered by anyone rises popular use, of course just publishing a book can’t solve anything having to do with me I’m doing my best I’m not bothering anyone proving myself until I’m good enough. 

Header: I’m not punishing anyone … it’s not about you it’s about me figuring out what is my purpose in life not live life being told don’t do this you were told and you took this you took a pill and we told you know, an insulting take on what diagnosis accuses me of not being smart accuse me of needing to do nothing that’s normal no it’s not ….