You don’t have to be perfect to be online. Take it from me, someone who has openly shared about mental health, yet still experiences periods, of voices, and writing in defense of self, is nothing that I need to leave up or take down, or forgetful of. There are no rules to staying well when it comes to mental health, not everyone will understand you, not everyone will know where you are coming from, not everyone is going to take your mental health seriously, most people just want to move on. But this is not what this blog is for, telling you what is normal, or being some real or unreal example of recovery, or expectation. What Im going through is difficult, no matter how it’s expressed, openly, or privately, these are things about a person, you just accept what they are going through, and not take things personally. You get to decide what is real and what is true, you get to decide what is your idea of normal. What is your idea of normal, regardless of what Im going through.

To me normal is cleaning all day, sorting out my clothes, doing laundry, running errands, washing my car, getting Starbucks, keeping busy. To me today is normal because I am doing all of those things. What is not normal, not normal would be talking about voices, symptoms, long discussions in response to symptoms, being some place struggling, observed, that is not helping me to get better, discuss in public, things that I can discuss in therapy. We all learn how to handle crisis differently, and I am no different, on a good day compared to a bad day, there’s really nothing to do about it, or worth letting myself get hurt over it. All I have to do is do my best to figure out my own mental health. I don’t think I was ever not clear about symptoms or ever simplified what it feels like to be enduring symptoms, or not feeling well, so excuse me for writing and being in a place mentally where I am struggling and going through something personally, discussed in public, relevant to voices, or bullying, that I don’t prefer to share about, if its not making me feel good about myself.

The reality is: Please accept my discussion of voices, please accept my privacy and discontinued discussion and please do not give me a hard time about my mental health is no one’s business including whatever voices I’ve experienced is not to my benefit to discuss my experiences with mental health and to traumatize me of expose me in a way that I get hurt on the subject means it’s not safe to discuss symptoms in public is how I get hurt.

Accept having a polite thoughtful discussion on voices and my experiences in life past or present and please accept how I feel and what I was nice enough to communicate and explain in public and made a choice to not leave my discussion up and it’s my right to move forward. If voices continue can republish my discussion and do my best to move forward. No matter what anyone thinks I have to take care of myself I’m not forgetful I’m not dishonest I’m sober I’m prescribed my mental health is real I take meds I don’t have to suffer or get voices and I don’t have to blog or publish or speak to public if I’m going through a lot suffering then not it’s not worth it to talk about voices if it’s not helping me only hurting me. The reality is I’m sober I don’t have the energy to blog and live life bullied or made fun of whatever anyone thinks this is my life I don’t have to talk to anyone explain anything or discuss mental health period I’m allowed. To be normal I don’t deserve to work hard suffer or be expected to write or be in public talking period I’m allowed to talk to no one and go through whatever Im doing through alone and not put it online.