No one is hurting your faith being honest about life mental health or bullying. Everyone deserves to be hopeful positive see the good in others and hope for the best. What’s misunderstood is often times the exact things that make us uncomfortable distrusting pay attention less to those who we are told to ignore or people who we are told or describe as being undeserving of positive respects. This I still experience everyone in defense of myself, set a boundary, am upset by something, hold an opinion, choose to be alone, take a break, tell a story, or get used in life are all the moments I’m made to settle down and think about what’s important to me. 

Now’s not the time, while I’m in court, to expect much from me, rely on me, depend on me, expect from me, let alone condemn me, team up on me, be overly critical of my blog posts or perspectives or reality. My life is none of your business, my medical records are none of your business, my mental health or therapy or meds is none of your business, my thoughts on court is none of your business, I have no obligation to be online be ridiculed or expected to just deal with voices or let blame run rampant using OJ or politics or blog or popularity that’s what’s being taken too far. 

At this point in time I feel like everyone reading knows me equally has the same positive perception of tainted perception or represents a series of voices I’ve spoken to means an attitude toward me exists in that way either supported by a hate website or because of who I am or what I look like am being treated that way. This is not something job or sobriety can help me with or the public or meetings how I feel what I’m going through how badly I’ve been damaged or hurt or what I’m reporting is none of their business how I’m being hurt or mean anyone can just blame me or blame alcohol or pretend to know what I’m going through disrespect any share or blog post mistreat me like I’m expected to perform to some caliber of wellness that tells you everything is okay or let’s it be okay to hurt me or talk shit about me, the innocence destroyed and life is my life. Right now I have to think for myself is it really worth it to blog publish books apply for jobs or be online if I keep getting voices of I keep getting voices for how long do I need to call 911 and report people talking shit to me before anyone decides what’s deserved. I tried everything and nothing worked, I’m not staying sober because I refuse to punch my head be overworked writing threatened or brought to court sober over who I like. Right now I don’t want to talk to anyone want to stay home don’t want to participate want to be left alone and focus on myself and go to therapy. Right now is not about voices it’s not about discounting or deleting every post I write reporting how I’m being treated or report what voices I’m given. Right now is about my privacy being left alone, focus on myself. Repair, focus on my mental health, not bother anyone, stay away from everyone, focus on my next court date, take care of myself, and not be required to post or contribute or be expected to perform constantly bombarded by voices constantly condemned constantly being called names constantly ridiculed constantly demoralizing me constantly being unaccepting of my truth and reality and stop using other people other movements other issues to hurt me or make me matter less and hurt me and my life, means stop leave me alone.