I’ve never been so hurt on so many levels, that suddenly I should be expected to be confident move on, composed, write, provide, with discontent concerning court, that should not require additional treatment about anyone trying to help me or anyone capable of figuring out whats wrong with me, suddenly be given a hard time on a subject Ive be open and honest about however communicated is not about my social media presence or anyone famous, using court, lawsuits, website, book, or any human being require me to continue to try hard, improve, or expect me to stay well or stay sober, just take it or be fought, accused and accused with no one caring until what happens to me, is not about my commentary, words, things Ive said well, or require anyone to be overly concerned about things I didn’t say well, misunderstand the presence of any celebrity, is no one is representing me, or needs to help me, doesn’t require me to be loved, or talk to anyone, should not require constant punishment or mistreatment as studied, should not require or expect a higher caliber performance continue to use words job, wellness, to accuse me of mental illness, when you get down to bottom and the heart of the issue, its not about needing to read or believe me, doesn’t require me to write a book, or force communication when not well, is not a place in life, you just get sent, and let voices end your life or court, or a standard form communicating and continuing to watch my face and blame me for anyones discontent or accuse me of carrying a disease or of a person or level of reputation that requires me to be alive or expects me to not start writing to court, on the basis of no one caring about me, and not require constantly reporting and calling 911, sobriety, or self injury, to tell me how to live life, to tell me what life is about, to tell me I don’t belong, to tell me thers something wrong with me, to tell me not to write a book, to tell me not to blog, to tell me what court is about, to tell me what other people mean, to tell me not to blog or expect me to write or accuse me of a type of writing learned in school, you completely disregard that I even went to law school once its court being used against me to take from mek, to punish me, to push me, to force me to work without meds, or need to be observed off meds, how I should be or how life is supposed to know whether I need meds, or am required to speak or perform in front of others. Clearly the issue is constantly confusing me for a person who you expect to photo, live life, or be not concerned with punching my head voices, or feeling suicidal, isn’t about hating me to the extent I now am going to kill myself, its committing suicide simply couldn’t handle arguments occurring past him publishing a website, doesn’t mean Im guilty, the Judge who supports everyone except me, has decided to inform me of some future date in which my fate will be determined, or expect me to continue to be called terms, make life about anyone else except me, is past the point of controversy and doesn’t require me to be alive, if this is how Im treated, but Im allowed to fight and confront the Judge on all levels of reality Im not required to write in public or expect me to email, shout, or stay sober, or pretend like Im winning or losing with the public a person who gest reported or doesn’t belong, is not my mistake of what court is doing, or what makes for a tolerable ending in which everyone can move on and be happy. Isnt about my life if Im getting voices, isn’t about hurtful words continuing to be used require me to write or punch my head or expect me to be alive or be concerned with being suicidal and sharing how I would kill myself, is not what schizophrenia or court means, or a hate website, is not how to represent death through me, is not how you continue to use me expect me to be in public or expect me to explain court, or be mistreated like I can afford mistakes or cursing or losing support, be hurt on a level so no one loves me no one cares about me, isn’t about a job or a drawing its about why should I be alive and why should I be required or expected to just get voices and stay well or just get suicidal and die and act like that’s affecting anyone, using hateful terms to not care what insults cause and to not care about me, I didn’t ask to be alive, to be given a hard time sued, then be ridiculed for the life that I had or question who I was, just allow myself to be treated as offensive, in the end I don’t have to explain life, I don’t have to share my story, I dont be alive, I can die anytime I want to not loved.  

Reblogged 01-08-24