Written before blocking hate website.

After 39 years of life and doing my best I’m not obligated to explain anything to court or required to get well again, it’s not okay to prosecute me call me harassment or use a hate website as excuse for punishing me if I’m giving up punching my head or battling suicide it’s not the meds it’s not schizophrenia it’s his hate website. It’s not the alcohol it’s jog my story it’s not my attitude it’s not my sobriety it’s not my imagination it’s not my age it’s reality he called me a bunch of things then I sounded mentally ill online. As a result of punishing me as though I doubt know why I’m suicidal or accuse me of not seeking emergency care it’s not about what I said on my balcony and pretend I’m not crying in my knees punching my head can’t win and it’s too late to be helped means about my mental health. It doesn’t matter if I call 911 or my neighbor calls 911 or an investigator is telling him to stop. The issue is I’m not schizophrenic I’m not hurting anyone I’m not lying I’m alive and earned every day of my life is why I’m alive and well. And if I die no it’s not my fault I did my best if I get voices I refuse to ignore a hate website punish me disable me. All I said was stop hurting me focusing on myself I’m not intolerant bothering anyone or ineffective if I’m punching my head being called sick ass pervert and he’s ruining my life all I have to say is stop using court to tell me what court means expect me to be well or stay alive being called that. The damage is permanent. I’ve done my best I’m tired of giving up and punching my head don’t take meds away from me force me to live disabled stuck in bed I don’t deserve to be treated this way. I don’t have to talk to anyone for the rest of my life that’s the best way to leave everyone alone not bother or worry anyone. My best response to court is I don’t have to be alive and I’m not dying for no reason and it’s not my fault if he keeps killing me and wrongfully accusing me all I ask is how do you expect life to turn out with me punching my head ridiculed no it’s not my fault what happens in life doing well in a job who’s job is it to just kill me accuse me of saying something unforgivable. If this is how life works you speak and people don’t care torture you give you voices then it’s me telling everyone I give up I need to focus on my health and clearly it’s not helping me to do anything in life if I’m suffering. So let him win move on put your hate website back up don’t be bothered by my mental health and I don’t care what you think I’m not obligated to help impress or be disliked or be blamed by anyone. If life is so predictable easy I’m not sure why I’m alive and if you ruin my job and website and I have no reason to be alive and people are destructive toward me and I’m punching my head I’m not sure why I should talk to anyone I’m not asking for help I’m politely giving up this is my limit please ask him why he keeps killing me and everything’s a joke and no I don’t have to take anything lightly he needs the move in love someone else and I don’t need to be alive.

Re-Blogged: 01-10-24