I had one middle school double date experience where someone sat on my chest hooking up, I’m a good friend I didn’t grow up in life hurt or offended or share an experience in which I was offended mistaken for an inexperienced woman or have reportable experiences that a job was for ever thinking it’s okay to talk about life in way that you would think people who loved you harmed you, unfortunately you were not at my hotline interview and told them who I am a secondary victim of homicide as being something about me relevant to being able to help others. Instead of allowing people to improve and live separate to my influence or story it’s become about who I am so in every way a resume described who I was …. I can’t be that person if I’m being accused of having issues that make it seem like I’m inappropriate to work or care for others or clients … in terms of my post on sexuality and anger it’s about my acceptance of someone did my best tried to get help and for whatever reasons didn’t turn into a lawsuit or court order is fine it’s about the detectives name being a name in the State of Texas and bringing up in public in what ways government officials have given me fake names and business cards to look up to try to scare me or communicate something to me. Self harm is about being bullied demoralized giving up and feeling hurt as someone who briefly experienced self harm recorded photos it’s instead become an ugly part of my story or be accused of not being able to solve an issue I suffered from been clear of what it feels like to get voices and for no one to believe how as a stay at home student became an ongoing form of suffering for years no I did not self harm give up every time I experienced voices and clearly now that I’ve experienced it and talked about it, instead of accusing it of being sex related or about someone from my past ….. why not value my traumatic experience and what my life was like then simple with no TV peaceful, make something that happened to me sound like a choice like I visualized hitting my head or knew self harm would happen. Instead of reflecting on voices prevention and not believing how self harm and voices used to insult me call me names instead everything’s being read to highlight a later a issue accuse me as a strong fit best shape of my life workaholic it’s turned into not accepting how or why voices would stop if I hit my head and accuse me of doing things to myself to please an imagery issue of being harmed and move you question whether or not I’m suicidal it won’t matter having said self harm is instead of committing suicide overdosing on night meds, sometimes when no one believes or accepts all the right ways you got help all the ways you were living not hospitalized I never intended to turn self harm into an unwanted attention issue or draw attention to myself on issues that are sick or untrue or provide a sick comprehension of mental health and what experiencing illness is like. Sometimes it’s better to just stay well and be sure to be someone clear of issues when it comes to issues major social media companies could be sued for, I think as an unpaid company I paid thousands of dollars to work self employed …. I think I do a great job of disclosing issues in a way that’s helpful I’m sorry if my story is read as sickening and for self harm to be pitiful I’m sure I’m not the cause for losses my hurt is not the hurt others suffer from whether or not I’m Snapchat or facing a crisis ever unaware of how easily you can be victimized online, so please don’t accuse me of being difficult or too hard on anyone or a story that anyone flips out over accuse a nurse car crash by work as a bad happening you accuse me being in job something I’m doing wrong unclear about missing an exit that day question my senses or ability to tell anything I think anytime I’m accused of being led watching others I’m sure I’m not foreign or guilty of making an aboriginal joke to make fun of myself and my timing in life choices decisions …. And maybe whatever is happening because of things I’ve said that have made people think I’m living small or an unwanted presence so long as there is something wrong with me that people can tell looking at me that will end up being a problem I would suffer from for the rest of my life, I think Caruso naming a building Americana in honor of an idea maybe others did not think I represented well or spoke to an issue appropriately is how mentioning the Brentwood students death (texting a friend that she got a bad vibe) is shocking in a way that I went to private school and because of where I attended AA meeting and had a job in Pasadena those became ways to blame me or accuse me of misrepresenting an issue which I think I was punished for by calling me derelic kicking me out of my home several times judging me as not comprehending my presence or worth in a way devalued affecting others to accuse me of having a bad vibe and calling me homeless schizophrenic then make no one talk to me to accuse me of taking personal and issue “bad vibe” in a way offensive or unreal as reported, I’m sure in all the ways I was changed to reflect the death of another based on voices worsening I continue to be viewed as unempowering or  defensive or talking about things I know nothing about and make the joke something that connects accuse things of happening has something to do with me – it’s just as scary for me to address a homocide but I never thought I’d be treated as having issues I don’t have, it’s not the story that’s selected or facts about me that make a close call or inappropriate to go to Home Depot to fix my drawers but it’s accusing me of not taking Caruso seriously respectful and accuse me matching things or making up something about crime or guilt you’re accusing me of having studied in law school I think identifying one job type in common turned into make fun of me as something I can control or think about life in way accused of delusion relating things to me by matching words or weapons or making fun of the difficulty to overcome mental illness and be strong no matter which parent you think I’m supporting or on any team in life. A story becomes insincere and of beneficial to women empowering once you accuse me of being offensive or disrespectful so please leave Sydney’s parents out of assessing whatever is wrong with me, I know I’ve done my best, received no support, legal advice, direction, representation, attorney, no one fought for me, everyone met me then accused me of not caring or having issues with women not careful making a big deal about calling The Trevor Project unsure of how to address womens issues not get things wrong, and instead I’ve been turned into an example of someone who is bullied you’re accusing Nicole Brown Simpson of saying “get your fatass on the car” accuse me of being hurt by anyone taking care of me, using my story and facts from my memory to make fun of me or whatever you think are simple issues not difficult or ways you accuse me of not caring or missing an invite to dinner at Mezzaluna as having anything to do with what I’ve done wrong, I think later in life, as an adult, misunderstand the experience of loss, as not traumatic, or accuse me of having issues with women or by job or hot or not, misinterpret my story or experiences with hurtful terms directed toward me things that are upsetting and maybe the best way to not get sued or called fraud or be insulted would be to not use my story or crime to accuse me of having issues or being on different teams proud of who I dated never moved on, and have expressed it being impossible to date after this diagnosis or experiencing self harm, so instead of viewing life as happening not connected to me instead an exit “Chapman” is being used to accuse me of cheating or losing my boyfriend to mental illness about sex, I don’t think I would fly to DC if I looked weird or misrepresented anyone, it’s a shame for whether what happened to my face on the second trip isn’t a simple lesson on sex or being in control of what you look like. When you have not heard my story and misunderstood issues and details out of discomfort doesn’t mean I don’t care about my family or allow for anyone to look bad or look stupid and I’m sure my paranoia became ways I was made fun of and as a result sought to punish my family. It’s not your secrets or alcohol or privacy or issue reaction or difficulty that’s a joke, it’s about whether you can help not bother others or not belong, so that’s the unfortunate part of my selfie journey and losing photos, its about figuring out whats wrong with you and work hard to be accepted considered helpful, otherwise no one will believe in using the word prevention, if theyre making fun of my 2013, do your best to work hard stay home, being social is a privilege, having mental health issues for the first time in my life couldnt do school or punished is a legit reason to be alone I dont think finding better or hooking up should be used to poke fun of me throwing up looking stupid, theres a difference between space versus being accused of cheating and maybe thats how a breakup becomes my fault or self harm or receiving texts not well or able to date is something I should have experience with. 

iPhone notes.